To tell a mother about her dd and her boyfriend ?

[BratinghamPalace]

So. A new friendship between this woman and me. Her dd came to babysit. She is 16 yrs old and very sweet. She confided in me that she has a boyfriend. It is her first boyfriend She has not told her dm or df as they "would be too protective" . The boy is a year older than her, collects her in his car and they drive around. Sounds harmless enough. She did say the boy takes a drink sometimes. So! AIBU to give her mum a heads up? On one hand I feel that the dm should know if I know and (hopefully) maintain silence. On the other hand this young girl placed her trust in me .....

IF my 16 yr old couldn't talk to me because they felt i was too 'whatever' I really would be glad she had an adult to talk to , teenagers are complicated being and sometimes feel that cant or won't talk to parents

I disagee with lovebunny too!

I have a young friend who always confided in me as she couln't speak to her parents sadly. She still does and she is now 32 with 4 children of her own.

She told me everything and always came to me for advice - my only rule was that if I though she, or any of her friends, were in danger or putting themselves at risk in any way then I would have to tell her mum.

Do not tell her mother anything. It is none of your business. The girl is 16 and old enough to do as she pleases in many ways.
By all means give her advice about the dangers of drink-driving, and should she tell you or ask you about anything dangerous or worrying you might suggest she tells her mum, but other than that, don't show yourself to be officious and untrustworthy.

all i would do in your position is tell her not to get in a car with anyone who has been drinking - i missed that bit, and that is putting her in danger imo if he is indeed drinking then driving....

but dont break her confidence.

my dd didnt let me meet her boyfriend for 6 months....she brought him home in the end.

A couple of years back four sixthformers from Ds's school were killed in a car crash a couple of days before xmas.Sadly teenage driving fatalities are not a rarity.
I would certainly want to know if it were my DD.

As the mother of a 17 year old DD I say do not tell her parents. She is above the age of consent.

You would just add yourself to the list of adult who she cannot talk to.

Do have a serious chat about drinking and driving. In fact have a word about drinking in general.

I disagee with lovebunny too!
that doesn't make me wrong, though...

I would chat to her re the drink driving and encourage her to chat to her mom.

Bit sad if she can't. But if you are the choosen confidant then go for it and mention contraception as well.

Socharlotte, if op thinks he is driving the girl while drunk then totally agree and I would call the police. We neatly lost our dd in feb so I totally agree with telling parents then.