Different ideas about monogamy

[IKIAMBU]

My DP and I have very different ideas about monogamy, which I only discovered when we started living together.

He thinks that, by design, every one has a partner; it's the way they are made. When they come into being, then two are betrothed and must be together throughout their life. This means that they are forced to stay together, even if one is flawed or defective.

I, on the other hand, like to mix things up a bit. I don't believe that every one is matched; just that that's how we, as people, view it. We superimpose our own sense of monogamy onto a situation that doesn't need it. I like to think every one has a new chance each day and a whole range of options. Maybe the two originals will come together again, maybe they won't. Either way, it will be by random chance as opposed to being held together, against their will, to ensure they stay together. I like to think the choices I make are my own.

He says I am thinking too much about socks. But then he would- his match.

I buy all mine from Tesco

Oh it is about socks, haha!

I thought him saying she thought about socks too much was a metaphor

It's about sole mates.

tethers

I've got 2 partners who know all about each other and it works very well.

But my socks all match and it makes me a bit mental when people wear odd socks.

Just to clarify, my 2 points are about people I am sleeping with, and actual socks, respectively.

You both sound a bit bonkers TBH.

I have to wear matching socks all the time. It bothers me when i see people with odd ones on.

Believing in soul mates is a good way to get yourself stuck in an abusive or just not-very-good relationship, because once you pick someone you have to stick with them. Even if you change, Or they change. Or you both change or you just realise that your original choice was not a very good decision.

I agree with you that your choices are your own, but I don't really think it's an "every day a new chance" kind of thing.

I think there can be a person for you at a certain time in your life, but most people experience things which change them or just grow up, so that person may not be the one forever...just err at the time. If that makes any sense.

Oh the more the merrier. I tend to wear mine out and trash them, so I need plenty of different combinations to keep me satisfied.
And my feet warm.

I think that if he is willing to pair his own socks, then this is fine. If he expects you to do it against your will, then you may be fundamentally incompatible.

Personally, I find pairing the washed socks quite a monotonously therapeutic activity, although am not too upset if socks don't match when being worn. That's really quite tragic.

Would it upset him to know that all the lefts are created on one part of the production line, and the rights on another, then paired together later - RANDOMLY!!!

It is, of course, possible I have missed the point of the thread.

I agree with Hecate

pmsl