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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask your advice. Should I infect my daughter?

47 replies

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/11/2012 09:58

Really sorry I am sure this has been done to death.

Was meant to visit my friend tomorrow but her son has just broken out in spots (the pox obviously). Should I visit with dd and get chickenpox over and done with or avoid it?

Dd is 21 months, has just got over a bit of a cold but is generally healthy.

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IslaValargeone · 03/11/2012 10:00

No, chicken pox is horrible, if she gets it naturally so be it, but don't deliberately attempt to make your child ill. Hmm

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 03/11/2012 10:00

No. Chicken pox can be a very serious illness and your DD is still very little. Avoid!

I've never had chicken pox BTW but have immunity.

frootshoots · 03/11/2012 10:02

I'll never understand why people would willingly infect their child with anything. Especially when people can catch chickenpox more than once, like me who has had it 3 times now Hmm and I'm only 27. May be easier to have it when they're young, but it doesn't 100% mean they won't get it again.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/11/2012 10:02

Thanks for advice. I just know people who avoided it as children and then got horrendously ill when they caught it as adults.

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MaryBS · 03/11/2012 10:05

If its any comfort, my DH got it as an adult, and they gave him an antiviral which minimised the effects and cleared it up quickly.

I'd not deliberately infect a child either, if it went wrong, you'd never forgive yourself :(

lucyellenmum · 03/11/2012 10:05

Don't be bloody ridiculous, would you take her there if they had flu? no? there's your answer. I have never had chicken pox, my mum has repeated doses of shingles (same virus). Neither of my DDs have had it (yet) 22 and 7. Why would anyone do that?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 03/11/2012 10:08

Don't do it.

ballroomblitz · 03/11/2012 10:08

NO

Fwiw I caught cp twice - once at 3 (not bad), once at 13 (hospitalised) so catching them at a young age does not guarantee immunity when they are older.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/11/2012 10:09

would I take her there if they had flu?

Well I would consider it if it meant she would be immune from all flu for the rest of her life. But obviously flu doesn't work like that.

I do appreciate the advice though as most of my friends have had chickenpox as kids and then been immune (and grateful for that immunity).

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BedHog · 03/11/2012 10:10

Iirc, about 6 people per year die of chicken pox, and far more are hospitalised with complications. Would you be able to live with the guilt if she was one of the unlucky ones?

kige · 03/11/2012 10:12

Ime it's best not to have cp when child still in nappies as the sores in the nappy have a hard time healing

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR · 03/11/2012 10:13

When I was a kid it was the Done Thing to put DDs with rubella together in order for them to get it over with, but not anything else.#
Of course, doing it for rubella was still crap as we still had to have the injections later on...

Loie159 · 03/11/2012 10:13

I always though chicken pox was mild and something to "get over and done with" until DD got it 2 months ago age 3.5. She had 600 spots and ended up with secondary bacterial skin infection, and on an antibiotic drip for 4 days in hospital. Dr there told me it was one of the worst cases they had seen for a long while. I know her reaction was extreme, but I was so worried about her as she was so so very ill. She just caught it almond with DS and lots of others at nursery. If I had deliberately taken her to infect her I would have felt so guilty. Most children have mild cp, but it can be a very serious illness and you just don't know how she will react, so please don't!!

Littlemissimpatient · 03/11/2012 10:14

No don't do it.have you read up on some of the side effects?
My friends daughter now has a hearing impairment after cp. yes it's slim chance but can happen and I would never forgive myself for making that happen sooner than it would have had they caught cp naturally

SecretCermonials · 03/11/2012 10:14

My son had Pox this time last year. I thought of it as trivial, a typical childhood illness. Thankfully for my DS it was.

BUT some weeks later DPs family friends daughter became unwell. Just before xmas. Seemed to have all the fluey symptoms, docs dismissed it. Until she was blue lighted to hospital, and put on ventilation, spent days unconcious, and none of us knew if she would make it. She was just one. Her parents had lost their first daughter to a heart condition at one month, she has a big brother who was 5 and couldnt comprehend what was happening.

Eventually it was found she had had a massive stroke. DUE TO CHICKEN POX. The virus had attacked her internally, and caused a stroke.

That moment for me was life changing, something I thought of as innocuous, has left this little girl just a year on relearning to walk, she cant speak properly, has a weakened side, and is partially blind.

So no, I wouldn't ever chose my child to be at risk of pox, just in case.

Fakebook · 03/11/2012 10:15

Let it happen naturally. Dd was 2.3 years when she got it. She was lucky because it wasn't severe. She didn't get any in her mouth either. Some children get infected really severely though so I'd not expose her.

FannieMaeButFreddieWont · 03/11/2012 10:18

One of mine was hospitalised with CP, bloody frightening. If I had infected on purpose I would have found the guilt awful. People forget how dangerous an illness CP can be.

Certainly don't do it if his immune system is already fighting off a cold or bug.

TheLightPassenger · 03/11/2012 10:20

No. Don't risk it.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/11/2012 10:22

So sorry I hear of all these horrible complicated cp cases.

I know cp is generally a mild illness but why the hell does the nhs not vaccinate against it?

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Flojo1979 · 03/11/2012 10:22

Like with everything, there are always worst case scenario's. When DD had CP it was very mild. Chances are your DD will get it at some point, from nursery or school and chance are she'll be spotty and miserable but fine, and chances are she'll get it at a time that's inconvenient too!
But, if she is the exception that is really poorly, would u forgive yourself for taking her?

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 03/11/2012 10:28

21 months is very young to get cp. I'd wait for her to catch it naturally rather than deliberately expose her. She'll most likely catch it naturally at some point - and I think being a bit older is better. They can understand that they're ill, and that they will get better soon, when they're that bit older.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 03/11/2012 10:36

No. It can be serious plus my daughter caught it at that age but ended up getting shingles when she was 3. No idea if its true! but my doctor told me that if they get chicken pox young they are more likely to get shingles young.
Shingles was horrific for her!.

Mrsjay · 03/11/2012 10:38

no chicken pox is miserable for them and parents it is horrible,
this shall I let them get it out of the way really winds me up why would you want your baby to be ill on purpose,

not all children catch chicken pox it isn't a given 1 of my dds never got it even though it went round half a dozen times before she went to school, dont be daft dont make your baby ill

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 03/11/2012 10:48

That's all very well MrsJay but most children do get it. (Having read these posts I'm not going to take her by the way).

The thing is 9 out of 10 children will get cp by the age of 10. I think the reasoning behind this is, I would rather my child got a mild infection now than a more serious infection when they are older.

Just looked at the data I think the risk of serious complications is about 1 in 10,000.

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goldenlula · 03/11/2012 10:50

I would not deliberately let my children come into contact with cp but mine have accidentally been in contact with it too many times to count ( including ds2 being shut in a car with a child for 15 mins and the parents discovering the spots on the child's tummy when they got home 10 mins later) and still we have not had it! Even when mine have been in close contact, as in that case, once I knew the other child was infectious we steered clear until all the spots were scabbed over. For me, although the risks are slight, it just isn't worth it. I don't take mine to other people's when they have tummy bugs ect either.