To ask mil to leave

[F1rstT1meMummy]

I am four weeks pregnant but has bleeding had a blood test which I asked my mil to look after dd.

She turned up and said she had an upset tummy- I asked if it was a tummy bug and she thought it was.

I called DH... An then I asked mil not to look after dd! I am sat here feeling mega guilty. But I am alread full of cold an so is dd. last thing we need is a tummy bug that we may have been able to avoid.

This isn't the first time the pil have come over and disclosed they have had tummy bugs- it makes my blood boil! I've even dropped in conversation a few times now the 48 hour rule.

Oh my I'm on my phone and that op is awful! Sorry

YANBU. At all.

Tbh though bleeding in pg is quite serious. Maybe she was worried you would not be able to attend appointment if she didn't come.
Plenty of people would have been annoyed had mil cancelled because of a possible tummy bug.

Yes its annoying, but unless there is a massive drip feed about horrible she is in general, I would assume she was trying to do the right thing and not let you down. But if she is horrible in general she wouldn't have been baby sitting, I suppose.

YANBU. SIL came over when she was recovering from D&V when DS1 was three weeks old. She never told me she was ill and DS ended up on a drip in hospital. I know mostly bugs are unavoidable but if you know you are ill keep away from people.

Agree with Mutny

Thanks! She doesn't know what blood test was for and is really lovely- apart from the recurrent visits with bugs. They don't know I am pregnant yet.

I do appreciate she didn't want to let me down which is lovely. Just feel guilty I asked her not to look after dd!

Don't feel guilty. The last thing you need at the moment is a stomach bug - or a DD with one.

Hope things go ok with the test.

YWNU, would have done the same. I'm terrified of tummy bugs around DD (at least while she's still piddly)!

Oh god don't feel guilty but don't let it make your blood boil. It doesn't sound like she is doing as she doesn't care.

But Mutny, she didn't need to cancel because of the tummy bug. She needed to phone and say "I think I've got a tummy bug, should I still come, or not?".

but bertha, some people do certain things certain ways.
She clearly thought she was doing the right thing, so why get mad.
I don't get the 'this is what I would do and anything else is wrong' attitude. The intention was good.

My MIL does this quite a bit. In fact she did it when DS was brand new and she was very ill with a chest infection. I had to say 'would you mind not holding him while you're poorly' rather than her saying 'I won't hold him for now, I'm ill.'

She's a lovely woman - if a little strange at times, but aren't we all - but I think she just didn't want to pass up the opportunity to hold her new GS. Reckless and a bit selfish IMO. She's done it a few times since. Almost as if she's scared that if she says she's ill, I'll ban her from seeing DS for life! Annoying.

And I felt guilty too...however you shouldn't be put in that position, particularly if it's been mentioned before.