about this meet up?

[whatatwat]

meant to meet a friend today with all our kids, mine 13ds, 8dd, 5ds, and her 11ds and 7ds. were going swimming and then for lunch.
i called her this morning to check when we were meeting and she dropped in that her friend F was going to tag along with her kids, who are 7ds and 3 ds.
now i know this woman but have spent afternoons with her and spent 5 or 6 trips out with her and when i have been with her her kids are a bloody nightmare.
they scream, fight and run about where ever you are, cinema, resturant, library etc, they pay no attention to her, they are rude to everyone and are serious hard work, some times she try's to calm them down, but mostly she puts it down to boys being boys. they break toys and she doesnt bloody appologise, they rip books and she says they are spirited.
i got off the phone and said to my eldest 2 that these kids were going, my eldest said, ''well then i'm not'' i asked why and he said they drove him mad, they try to treat him like a big climbing frame and she treats him like a childminder, asking him to run about after them, take them to the loo etc. and he just doesn't want to.
dd then said, i don't wanna go either, as she is then the only girl and the 2 boys who are roughly her age are just nasty to her, wont let her join in etc.
so i called my friend back and said i would rain check that something had popped up. she questioned me, and i said that my eldest 2 didn't want to have to spend the day with these kids.
then friend went mental, how my kids were being cheeky and rude and how i was being prescious and nasty. she also said that i am letting down my kids and being rotten to hers.
i said i wasn't changing my mind and that basically it was tough, i was putting my kids first.
so was i out of order?

Wow OP I admire you for standing up for yourself and your kids. Glad you had a lovely day

I think you did the right things as well. I won't go so far as to say she was rude to invite the other woman along because when it comes to kiddy meet ups I tend to think the more the merrier, but I certainly don't condone what then followed. YOur friend is out of order and I'm glad you asserted yourself.

I think yabu, how bad can it be? The more the merrier etc.

Shame to lse a friendship over this

WOW, what an entitled pair they sound.

Well done OP - so often I find myself reading threads in frustration as people let others walk all over them but you've handled this brilliantly. Good riddance!

Tell her that next time they want a babysitter, your DS charges £5 per hour + danger money!

Cheeky pair!

YANBU your (ex) friend and friend of (ex) friend had a bloody nerve, had you gone, I guarantee you would have felt you were being used good and proper. Why should they use your DS as a babysitter? It beggars belief, it really does. You should feel proud of the way you stood your ground

You listened to your children and put them first, which makes you an ace parent in my book. My two were often the oldest at family gatherings and yours ANBU to not want to be entertainment and climbing frames for all and sundry because the parents are too incompetent to manage their own children.
Bet your DS is impressed with you too.

You are well rid of this idiot - I am aghast that she thinks she is bring reasonable in her way of thinking!

Good to see people putting their children over friends - their reaction totally vindicated your decision.