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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be very concerned about ds' red mark?

44 replies

whethergirl · 02/11/2012 00:46

DS aged 7 went to stay with my dad for a couple of days. When he returned, I noticed he had a big round red mark on his bum, almost covering one cheek. I asked him about it and he said that it was itchy, then my dad's dp had a look and put some cream on it.

I arranged for my mum to take him to the docs this morning, to get it checked out - also there was a bit of bleeding on his penis. He has had this before actually, and when I took him to a walk in clinic last time, they said it was a scratch/graze.

Anyway, the first thing the doc said upon seeing the red mark was to ask my mum if he had been smacked. My mum replied, no, he doesn't get smacked. He said there was no dry skin there so was a bit baffled as to what it might be, and advised to leave it for a few days to see if it goes on his own accord.

I am now really concerned about this unexplainable red mark that occured when ds was not in my care. I know my dad wouldn't ever smack him (he brought me and my sister up, never smacked us).

I've asked ds about it and he just said he remembers it being itchy. I asked him about it again today and he got a bit annoyed/upset because I was asking him the same questions (he was very tired and grumpy at the time). I feel sure he would tell me if anyone had smacked him...I can't imagine that he wouldn't. However I want to take him back to the docs to get a second opinion from another doctor. AIBU to feel very troubled by this?

OP posts:

blibbleflop · 02/11/2012 13:44

I think some sort of skin condition is more likely than a smack (unless you remember DS's Dad having perfectly round hands)

ClippedPhoenix · 02/11/2012 13:47

Sound like eczema, my DS has had this for years and yes, if some ointment was put on it then that could make it worse. DS gets this on his neck and he can't use anything perfumed at all.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 02/11/2012 14:01

The possibilities are that it's something medical, in which case you'll get some development over the next few days (yes ringworm does have a white bit in the centre, it isn't generally solidly red ime) or that it was an accidental injury, as has been suggested, or that it was a deliberate injury.

If it was caused by a smack which was hard enough to leave a mark for several hours, I'd imagine that there would be some minor bruising that will come up in a day or two. And the colour/intensity of the redness will change.

If it was a deliberate injury that's a whole lot more serious, obviously, and if your son cannot tell you how it happened, he needs to be made gently aware that he can tell you anything at all without getting into trouble.

I'm no expert but I'd be concerned at this stage, not alarmed, just concerned in case it was something horrid that had been done to him. But I'm guessing it's unlikely to have been deliberate abuse.

The bleeding from his penis would worry me more tbh, I have two boys, neither has ever managed to make their penis bleed. What was the context last time he had this - had he been way from your care then, also?

EdsRedeemingQualities · 02/11/2012 14:02

I should clarify that of course a very hard smack is also a deliberate injury - but I was thinking of other types of injury iyswim, rather than that sort of thing. (burn, etc)

DeWe · 02/11/2012 14:32

Dd2 used to get red patched of excema that were almost perfectly round.

I burnt myself sitting on a heater once in a beautiful round mark just as you describe. It was somewhat uncomfortable

I would be more worried with the bleeding too.

KurriKurri · 02/11/2012 14:52

has something bitten him? -if I get a bite, I get a large red round mark - all out of proportion to the size of the bite, - that would account for it being itchy. You could try him with some antihistamine tablets, or benedryl cream works well on bites.

I do totally understand your concern though - although I think a mark from a smack (even a very hard one) would fade reasonably quickly - or at least take on a mottled appearance.

Have you asked your Dad and his DP about it? - what do they say?

Original poster

whethergirl · 04/11/2012 00:51

The patch is still the same size but starting to get a bit dry now so have been putting cream on it. No bruising at all. It keeps getting itchy, especially when he was in the bath...so this alone would tell me it can't have been caused from a smack, as itchiness would not be a symptom.

He doesn't remember sitting in anything wet or leaning on a radiator but good point re the washing powder ratspeaker, so will ask my dad about that.

Thank you, have looked up pityriasis rosea, images are quite varied but does resemble some of the versions I've seen of it. I will mention this to the doctor.

EdsRedeemingQualities he was not away from my care the last time his penis went red/had minor bleeding. The nurse at the time said she sees it all the time with boys, quite easily done when boys play with their willies. Anyway, I got some cream prescribed for this and it's already cleared up.

KurriKurri I haven't asked my dad and his dp about it yet, I was waiting to see how it developed.

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 04/11/2012 01:16

I agree with Kurri, I get very allergic to bites so throw out a raised, angry circle. A smack wouldnt be round, wouldnt be raised and I think would have faded and some evidence of bruising would have appeared by now.

Loveweekends10 · 04/11/2012 07:01

From the two incidents you are describing his bum and penis. Are you thinking these are related? Is there any reason why you are thinking the worst?

GailTheGoldfish · 04/11/2012 07:48

Discoid eczema is when it appears in circles, DB gets it and generally on the lower half of the body.

Proudnscary · 04/11/2012 07:48

Loveweekends - I think OP is freaking out a bit because the doctor immediately asked if he'd been smacked. OP agree with others about following this up. I'm sure all is well, but he's your son and it's completely natural to be concerned about him.

CookingFunt · 04/11/2012 08:30

Dc2 once smacked dc1 on the leg. It left a hand shaped mark. I would assume an adult slap would leave similar?.
It sounds like a contact flare up on your DS bum. Washing powder,cleaning sprays/wipes leather cleaners and dyes are the main ones.

lovebunny · 04/11/2012 11:42

going to get chicken feed? dad keeps animals? reaction to mites?

Itchywoolyjumper · 04/11/2012 12:25

I think Outfoxed has hit the nail on the head. It sounds like a reaction to the cream your dad's dp put on it to stop it itching.
DS had something similar from sitting on a newly cleaned lino floor with wet legs and it cleared up in a few hours with some antihistamine we got from the docs. It might be an idea to find out what your dad's dp put on you DS and then go back to the doctor's and see what they suggest.

goldenlula · 04/11/2012 12:53

Ds1 has ringworm on his leg and it is quite a large patch (easily the size of the palm of my hand, so ring worm can be big, but it is raised and 'spotty'. By the sounds of this it could be an allergic reaction to something.

Original poster

whethergirl · 04/11/2012 22:39

Loveweekends10 - no particular reason I was fearing the worst, as Proud said, doctor freaked me out, also I noticed the mark when my mum was here who is super paranoid and panicky at the best of times. Also I'm just uncomfortable that he got a mark while he was not in my care (am lone parent, me and ds have never been apart until recently). Dad and his dp have had a tumultous relationship but she is dotty over ds, always has been.

My dad has lodgers in his house and so did tell him the first time ds stayed there, not to ever leave him alone with anyone else - even though I knew my dad wouldn't, I just had to say it, and he told me of course he wouldn't. However it's a fairly big house and I can't imagine ds is right under my dad's nose every minute of the day. Haivng said that, I have no particular reason to suspect the lodgers, they are lovely!

Ds loves spending time with my dad's chickens, feeding them etc. but if it was mites then why would it be on his bum? More likely to be on exposed skin wouldn't it?

The mark has really faded now but skin is very dry and peeling.

Itchywoolyjumper -I think it might have already been red at the same time as being itchy but will ask dad's dp.

OP posts:

spg1983 · 04/11/2012 22:47

If it's faded and starting to peel (does it look scaly?) then that's what happens with pityriasis rosea but if it is that then you'll probably find that more come up in the next few days. Hope you get an answer soon...

Original poster

whethergirl · 05/11/2012 00:15

Yes spg, it is scaly actually...not like any eczema his had before.

Thanks all, this has been helpful!

OP posts:

minnisota · 05/11/2012 07:47

Your dad hasn't got a new carpet/rug has he? I ask because i am allergic to new carpets and had a very.itchy bum cheek when little after sitting on the floor (with clothes on). i also lay on my front watching tv and ended up with swollen lips. Even now i can't go in a carpet shop

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