AIBU to be annoyed at the numerous 'treats' people keep wanting to give my daughter?

[bettyspaghetti33]

Ok so my daughter is now just under 2 years old and since we started weaning her onto solid foods at 6 months old I've been careful to try and keep her diet as healthy as possible with as few sugary or junk foods as possible bar the occasional treat. What I can say is so far so good, she seems to love her meals, she eats virtually all the fruit and veg we give her and hardly ever refuses something in favour for something else. It just gets on my nerves when we're out and we meet friends, sometimes childless, sometimes with kids the same age, who always want to provide my DD with treats. These things may be half a bar of chocolate or some sweets, and what really riles me is when people try to give her stuff without asking me first like its ok to offer it to her because she's a small child and they want to spoil her. In these situations I usually tell them that I don't give her regular treats and would rather they didn't offer her anything as I'm trying to bring her up to eat healthily to which I get surprised and sometimes even offended comments about my treatment of her. Am I being unreasonable to expect people to understand this?

It's only food I'm smug about because none of my other top notch parenting techniques worked on my brat...

Most people don't think too much refined sugar is bad, I really do. It's the one thing I'm strict about.

I usually found it was chocolate or boiled sweets. Firstly DD has an allergy to dairy, and secondly when v.little she had issues with her teeth (she grinds) & the dentist gave us strict instructions to make sure she had as little sugar as possible. Admittedly she does now have a bit more sugar, but most of that comes from fruit. If she had a choice between berries, nuts and sweets - she would probably choose the berries or nuts (although would then ask for the sweets too!). As a toddler she had a big thing for plain rice puffs. She is now nearly 7 and has no fillings (am told unusual here, which I find shocking).

We don't have many biscuits/cakes/sweets in the house usually because none of us eat them before they go off. I do keep a small 'stash' of treats for her, but it lasts ages - they tend to be things like raisins, goji berries, & savoury nibbles - she does have more of a savoury tooth than a sweet one).

DD was given a chocolate coin on Sunday and ate it (even though we warned her it was unwise). She is still itchy today.

I'm always amused by the 'wait 'til they start school' comments. You have them for four years before that! Why should they eat processed crap now because of what they might do in 3 years time? They grow like mad at this age and need all the decent nutrition you can get into them.

I find the constant presence of all this stuff a bit much (we just didn't have it when i was small). I don't mind within reason, but get a bit when even the man who runs the launderette offers her a chocolate biscuit! So, guess what? I don't take her with me any more and try to limit her exposure as much as I can. She loves sweets, chocolate, biscuits (she is 3.9) but her consumption is fairly moderate and she knows there is a limit: so we went trick or treating, she got a couple of things from each house; ate at least one small bar of choc on the way round and some jellies, but came home and decided to put her stash away to eat one at a time. She rarely eats more than she should and leaves it when she has had enough.

I don't like it, but can't do much other than avoid the most gratuitous situations (say no when the chemist offers a lolly; say no whenever you can politely) and attempt to teach moderation

Yanbu - I'm the same with ds1 (3.5), while he can have sweet treats like homemade cakes & biscuits in moderation I do not think it should be a daily thing and I get extremely annoyed if other people (including dh if ds whines for it) give him sweets or chocolate as I just don't think it's necessary. I do know that I'm a lot stricter about this than most people (and maybe just a little pfb about it )

Someone even offered ds1 a lollipop on the bus the other day when he was in the middle of a tantrum - I was not pleased - why on earth would you offer a sweet to a stranger's child anyway and surely not when their parent was dealing with a tantrum

I'm with Dave. Refined sugar is god awful stuff, the less we all eat of it, the better. Certainly people shouldnt be pushing it on your baby daughter at the tender age of 1!

OP - yanbu. I avoided sugary things for as long as possible. What's the point of getting them used to sugar as a toddler.

It get's a lot harder when you're onto child 2 or 3 and they see what the older ones are eating - but I still say, hold out on the junk food for as long as possible. They've got all the time in the world to eat junk.

When real life intrudes than god mumsnet gives me a really good old belly laugh.

I SHOUT at people that try to give my DS3 'treats'.

Not because I'm unhinged, but because anything with even the smallest trace of Cow's Milk Protein (including when it is labelled as casein, whey, lactose), nuts or soy could actually kill him because he has very severe allergies.

I wish people would just ASK first!

I don't think you are being unreasonable but I think it' since that people give her presents and it's especially nice that people without kids think of things to give her - you could always keep them and give them to her (or not) under your control. I do not give my young DD chocolate at the moment (its more because she has jam on her toast) but I allow her grandparents to spoil her with a cookie if they want to - after all grandparents are there to spoil so I let it go sometimes. My parents brought me up healthily but I still have a sweet tooth! As long as you are polite in the way in which you tell them no-one should be offended.

I'm with Dave too. YANBU! The bit that gets me is when people try to question your choice, or say stupid things like 'it's just a little bit' in the child's hearing. Then you're put in a really awkward position.

I've lived in the US for 4 months and whilst I sometimes came across this in the UK, it seems a lot more prevalent here. In the queue at the supermarket yesterday, DD was crying (she was tired) and the assistant went and got a packet of chocolate ice cream desserts and tried to offer her one! When I refused and said she doesn't have that much sugar, she tried to argue with me and told me I should let her try it. I was not happy!

There also seems to be an increasing culture of eating everywhere we go - you can't go to a playgroup or someone's house for an hour without the bloody Cheerios coming out. I've stopped meeting up with some mums who do this as I got sick of them ignoring me.

Hang in there OP, you're doing the right thing!