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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep in the spare room as dp didn't get me a sweet?

29 replies

lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 22:43

I've spent all evening doing his favourite dinner which was quite a bit of prep, done just for him as I wasn't hungry. When I finally sit down after tidying everything away (probably been in the kitchen around 3 hours start to finish) on the sofa with a glass of wine I asked him to get me a sweet. (The sweets are upstairs) He said "if you wanna sweet get your arse upstairs and get one" Now I'm no control freak but am I BU in expecting him to just fucking get me one??

OP posts:
ErikNorseman · 01/11/2012 22:44

Rude!

ThePsychicSatsuma · 01/11/2012 22:44

why are your sweets upstairs?

ErikNorseman · 01/11/2012 22:45

But don't sleep in spare room, tell him he is ungrateful and rude and ask him why

CandiceMariePratt · 01/11/2012 22:46

Yanbu. I would put my fingers down his throat and get the dinner back.

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 22:46

Thepsychic...they are my DD's they are in her bedroom shhhh dont tell! As it happens I didn't get a bloody sweet I got wine and am now sulking in the spare room.

OP posts:
ThePsychicSatsuma · 01/11/2012 22:47

unpack all of his stuff into the spare room. *

*nb keep the sweets in your room

lucyellenmum · 01/11/2012 22:47

So, you cooked him a dinner but you didn't eat and he couldn't even go and get you a sweet??

Id be pretty miffed, but im not sure i'd go and sleep in the spare room to "punish" him. Nose, cut, spite, face.

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 22:47

Hahaha Candice that is brilliant!

OP posts:
deleted203 · 01/11/2012 22:47

I think so. I think it's unreasonable to EXPECT anyone to leap to their feet and trot up the stairs to fetch you a sweet because you want one. Having said that, it would have been nice if he'd fetched you one after all your efforts for him. But presumably you chose to make his favourite dinner - he didn't just demand or expect it? (And YABU to sleep in the spare room over whether he fetched you a sweetie or not, TBH. Is it really worth all that fuss?)

ImperialBlether · 01/11/2012 22:49

He sounds really rude and selfish. Is he always like that?

ScaryFakeNails · 01/11/2012 22:49

I think to expect him to trot off just because you want a sweet is a bit rich but it would have been nice. Maybe it was just a joke or he didn't really think through the fact you had done dinner etc and were tired.

Spare room is bollocks though, just tell him you're annoyed and why then make up. Its a sodding sweet.

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 22:56

No imperial, not always.
Sow, scary, you have a point I've started wondering that, maybe I did expect him to trot off and get me one and wasn't on in his mind. Still, I'd trotted off to Sainsburys today and carried £50 worth of shopping all up my arms on a 20min walk (think bag of spuds, wine, washing powder..seriously heavy stuff!) Hoovered, did lots of laundry..his laundry etc etc all I wanted was a poxy sweet.

OP posts:
ScaryFakeNails · 01/11/2012 23:02

Yeah but expecting him to engage brain and make the link between you doing all that and wanting a sweet. To quote dh "AM NOT A MINDREADER!!!!", its not unreasonable to expect him to do things for you but I just think he probably hadn't made that connection. Tell him so he knows for next time. Sending him to the spare room drags it out and doesn't really communicate the core of the issue.

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/11/2012 23:05

What has he done today?

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 23:12

Maybe scary, I suppose.
He's been to work allyours
It actually went something like this..
Arse: Would you like anything from the kitchen?
Me: No but I'd love a sweet please.
Arse: If you want a sweet get off your arse and get one
Me: Oh, ok
Me again, a few seconds later: You really wont get me a sweet?
Arse: No
Me: Ok don't expect any dinners from me in the future

OP posts:
Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 23:13

To which he didnt answer as he loves his dinners.

OP posts:
SoleSource · 01/11/2012 23:16

So you do stuff for him and tally it up? Then when you find you cannot order him about like a child you get huffy?

Fakebook · 01/11/2012 23:22

I think pussy cat eyes and a pout work well in these kinds of situations, accompanied by an "oohhhh goo ooonnn, I'll be your friend". Always works for me.

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 23:23

If you want to put it like that then fine solesource, I do things for him (lots of things) and yes I expect him to do things for me occasionally.

OP posts:
Loshad · 01/11/2012 23:25

are you both 15?

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 23:26

Unfortunately not. We're in our 40's. [hgrin]

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/11/2012 23:31

Loshad I wondered that too. It all sounds really juvenile.

lucyellenmum · 01/11/2012 23:37

It doesn't sound like you have much respect for each other. I can't believe you are sleeping in the spare room over something so trivial - this is not healthy. He DID offer to get you something from the kitchen though, so its not like he didn't offer anything. Maybe he didn't feel like traipsing upstairs at that point, much like you didn't.

Really, you both need to grow up - do you have children?

Original poster
lotsofteddies · 01/11/2012 23:43

Yes, she's the one with the damn sweets! I might go back to the master bedroom now, feel a bit silly.

OP posts:
deleted203 · 01/11/2012 23:46

lol, lotsof. I would. Go crawl in next to him and (if he's still awake) say, 'Ok, I got my own sweet. And I'm sweeter tempered now'. Grin