OK, this is going to seem silly, but DH and I are bickering over a recent trip to the cinema.
DH's family are not great at communication and not very connected as a family. Instead of them being clear and concise with issues of domestic life, they tend to just put up and shut up or expect everyone else to go along with what they want (depending on who the issue involves) until someone suddenly explodes from frustration and it all comes pouring out in a big row.
DH has of course picked up these habits and is sometimes blind to the effect it can have on a family unit and how it can cause unnecessary problems.
For example, we once stayed with his DM and were paying rent for the time we were there. DH's job has times of the year when things can be very stressful. He had a weeks holiday coming up which everyone was aware of. His mother decided she was going to have the bathroom overhauled without mentioning it to anyone. We only found out the morning the guys came round to do the work. Keep in mind we were paying rent. It caused a huge issue with DH's ability to work at home as well as massive inconvenience during a very stressful work week. Had she simply mentioned that builders were coming to do some work, he could have asked her to hold on a few days till the start of his holiday.
Incidents of complete lack of communication like this are totally normal in his family even though they constantly lead to disagreements in domestic life.
DH doesn't understand that communication even with minor issues is key to having a smooth running and stress free home life.
The other day we decided to go and watch a film.
I asked him how long a film was and he told me an hour and a half without checking.
The film was actually two and a half hours long and it caused subsequent problems which would take too long to explain, but to give an idea, we missed DD's bedtime, I wouldn't have wanted to go let alone take DD had I known.
He does this kind of thing all the time (at least once a week) and I am so fed up. I don't understand why he didn't just check the films run time so I would have just stayed home to begin with.
He says it was just a throwaway response. When he does this though, it can cause all sorts of confusion and stress.
He was on the cinema's website when I asked so could so easily have checked.
I know it sounds petty in isolation, but he does this constantly and I am at my wits end explaining to him that this kind of blaze' attitude to answering simple questions can cause a lot of stress later on.
I am finding this hard to explain.
DH thinks I am BU and that I am seeing his actions as malicious even though they are not.
I just do not understand why he wouldn't check the run time of the film when I asked specifically and I think it is really rude.
AIBU? And does anyone out there understand what I mean? Its so hard to explain.
Its just that a minor thing can spiral, causing larger problems because of one blaze' answer to a question that doesn't require a brain surgeon to answer.