to not be speaking to DH?

[Convert]

Will try to keep this brief!

Have been a SAHM for nearly 6 years, kids 5, 4 and 1. DH works very hard. We have recently been finding money is a bit tight so we decided I would work for a couple of shifts in the pub/restaurant. I was supposed to do 12-9 on my first day yesterday but someone rang in sick so I went in at half nine instead to help out and worked short all day, very busy, really hard until 11pm with only a 15 min break to eat something.

I do 95% of housework, all cooking, all laundry etc which is fine. If DH comes home when DCs are still up then the house can be a bit messy sometimes. If after bedtime then I always make an effort to have all tidy and either we have a few drinks or I have a meal waiting.

DH was fantastic with DCs yesterday and took them out all day, didn't get back til 8 but when I got home, the kids coats and shoes etc were left where they'd taken them off on lounge floor, our bed was unmade, generally just he hadn't bothered tidying up.
I'm really pissed off because I came home after 13 1/2 hours working and had to start picking up after him.

So...he thinks I am being moany and pathetic and I think he is an inconsiderate pig, AIBU or is HBU??

You do 95% of the housework, and it sounds like 95% of the childcare.

Each to their own, but I would certainly sympathise if you found THAT unreasonable, SAHM or not.

Balloon I think I should take the direct approach and just mention it, I explain too much and then he feels like I'm nagging!

Everlong he had 3 hours after he got home before I finished, I wasn't expecting a sping clean, just a 10 min tidy.

Maybe Everlong

You need to get lower coat hooks by the way. 4 & 5 yos are more than capable of taking off coats and shoes and putting away neatly.

They are but they had been on a very long walk, in the rain and didn't get home until an hour after their bedtime. They normally do put their things away but I think sometimes they can be excused.

I'm not sure not speaking is the way forward. But maybe when the dust settles, you could make a list of the basic daily tasks that keep the house running smoothly and leave it for him. And also take full day shifts three days in a row, so he really gets to grip with it...