To be really pissed off about how young girls are being affected by this ?

[Blistory]

Disturbing article written by a teacher

www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6294001

I don't really think I am being unreasonable to think this is a horrible way for young girls to experience their teenage years.

I completely agree with scary.

I also don't think sending your girls to single sex schools will change much. I went to an all girl's convent school and quite a few of us were very promiscuous. I'm 30 now and don't agree with all the doom about what's in store for this generation of teens.

I agree with Bedlam that there are other points about the Internet that may well cancel out the unsavoury effects. I have met several children who were abused or nearly abused in the 60s and 70s because they literally had no idea what was going on, they didn't know what those words meant, nobody had explained to them about boundaries or warning signals or how to get out of a tricky situation.

I think there are a couple of reasons that the focus is on girls rather than boys. One is sexist and that girls are seen as victims, sexually less keen and so on. The other is more insidious. I will think that girls are more exploited than boys until I hear a story about a boy having a line up of girls all waiting for him to 'service' them orally.

I don't understand how people could possibly think that it could not affect people.

My children are almost 18 (ds) and 14.5 (dd). Such notions have never entered their consciences. They are street wise, London children, they are also intelligent and bright and for teenagers utterly normal, with utterly normal friends. They are far more aware of sex and bodies than I was at their age but in a healthy, open, unsleazy sort of way. They are extremely open and honest with us their parents and although DS would like us to think he has "gone all the way" I don't think he has. Even so, I am totally confident that if he had it would have been done in a mature and a safe way.

Hmmm,.
I went to a fairly rough school, and I can tell you that the video (God I am old!) Animal Farm, featuring women getting shagged by donkeys etc was a must see for young boys of 12/13.
Or so they said.
I mean , I knew about it, people talked about "bumming" and even "spit roasting" (one in the front, one in the back) and I knew about that even before I really understood what normal intercourse was all about, but how much of it was bravado I don't know.
My point about the roughness of the school, I suppose, is that a lot of these kids were coming from homes where Mum's boyfriend or whoever had left porn mags lying around etc, and the boys would bring these into school.
Having said that things HAVE changed a lot, due to the internet. Back then, the porn mags I saw were basically women (with pubes!) with their legs open, and some mucky stories.
Now, I don't even want to think about it.
All I can hope for, having a son, is that the men I enlist to talk to him, when he is 11 or 12, about men and women, and sex and porn, will drum it into his head that porn and sex are not one and the same.
And if I had a daughter, I may well enlist the same men to talk to her, because the trouble with young girls is that they just don't listen to their mothers.
They need constant validation, and these days that seems to mean validation about their looks and sex appeal. Girls need adults (and especially men) around them who can reassure them that they will be loved and admired for their brains, and their ideas, their humour and their bravery.
All we can ever do is instill that sense of self confidence into our children, both boys and girls, which will help ward off this rancid tide of soul destroying garbage.

Cinnamon, I don't think people are saying it has no influence or effect. Or at least thats not my interpretation and certainly not what I'm trying to communicate. I just find the hysteria around it and the comments on irrelevant aspects very frustrating because they are untrue and detract from the real issues.

I spoke to my group of teens that was round yesterday. I think it was a welcome break from watching Poltergeist which scared them shitless.

Not one of them had heard of James Deen, I googled and said oh it says this this and this, they were all quite unimpressed. These are not naive teens. They ranged from 14-18, we live in inner London and I know most of them have seen the Kim Kardashian sex tape, the Tulisa one, have seen porn and are having sex.

I had quite a think about this thread last night and technology and sex is one issue, but the talk about blowjob patrol etc is another altogether, I was discussing it with DH and what we both agreed is that people were partaking in sex acts at school, but if you got caught it was brushed off or you were sent to the headteacher or whatever and told off for being 'too friendly' with the boys/girls. Schools have had to introduce policies because that is how behaviour is handled now. They didn't have a policy before because there wasn't that sort of thing. We as adults and as institutions are much more aware and into confronting these issues than we used to be so yes there is more recorded incidents, more discussions with parents, more talk about the behaviour I'm still not convinced theres a really massive increase. I personally also never really had the experience of 2 teenagers having a fumble and I've always been aware of guys using girls as sex objects, it may have increased in frequency but to me its not something new.

I think blowjobs etc are probably no worse or less than before.

I do think that seeing the emotionless side of sex in porn before you've got any idea of the context of loving relationships is a shame and does have a big impact and I can see easily how it would lead to sexual violence.

Actually I agree with Ozzie, I'd rather there was more explicit sex in young adult fiction and tv which at least put sex into the context if start with someone you care about and who cares about you, and be considerate with each other. Then move onto kinky fuckery later if you want safe in the knowledge that you trust each other.

I agree TeWi.
Most of my friends (and I am mid thirties) were having sex by about 15, but we hadn't really been exposed to porn. I know boys watched the odd video etc, but from the little I saw, it was fairly straightforward fucking.
It also probably was not watched that often, dependent as it was on parents being out, no chance of being caught etc.
Now, they can access it all day long, everyday, and it is de-sensitising.
The first detailed info I got about sex was from The Joy of Sex, which showed me that sex was interesting, but also kind of warm,dark, intimate,(and it should be intimate-not a spectator sport) hairy and strange, and very much an adult thing I was not quite ready for.
I didn't have full intercourse until I was 18, and then it was a boy I loved. Not for any moral reason, just that I had a good sense of the power of sex, and respected that.
Teens should be interested in sex-it's natural, but this sanitised, pink, shiny, clinical, all-about-the-orifice, female pleasure-free freak fest that is modern porn just does not show teenagers the complicated truth about sex.

I think easy access to hardcore porn totally de-sensitises teenagers. A few months ago I sat next to four of my nieces and nephews at their grandmother's funeral and they were talking about porn they seen involving women and bestiality. They were laughing about it and seemed to have no sense that this might not be an OK thing to talk about at their grandmother's funeral . I was shocked to the core and the only thing which prevented me from challenging them about it was not wanting to make a scene at the funeral.