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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

regarding taxi driver and lost mobile?

74 replies

GlitterySkulls · 31/10/2012 18:14

so today i lost my phone. after a couple of hours of ringing it, DH finally gets an answer at 12.30 pm.

turns out it was in the back of a taxi, the driver asks for our address & says he'll drop it off when he next gets a fair in our area. i come home shortly after 1pm and try to contact driver via my phone to ask him to bring it down & i'll pay the fare to cover his costs, but no joy. i try several times on & off until 4.25pm, then i give up.

at 5.10pm, the door goes & DH answers it. it's the taxi driver, who hands over my phone, & DH thanks him & says to hang on & he'll get me.

i go to the front door, planning to thank him & offer him a fiver to cover his costs (which would more than cover them) as a wee token of gratitude.

i get halfway through my "oh, thanks a lot, i thought i'd lost it, i was panicking" etc etc and he interrupts me with "eh, i thought i'd AT LEAST get a fare off you, i've been down here twice already (he's a fucking liar as DH has been in all day & i've been in since the back of one) but no, never fucking mind" so i said "actually i've been trying to phone you all afternoon to tell you to just bring it down & i'd pay a fare, seeing as i needed it" and he goes "eh well, i was driving so want to gives it" & i said, "what, for four hours solid? no fucking chance after your attitude" and he says "eh, nice to be nice hen, i could have kept your phone but i didn't" storms off down my path,shouted something about me being a fucking something or other, so i just told him to "fuck right off you prick" & slammed the door shut.

now i am seething. i had every intention of giving him money to cover his costs, but after he interrupted my thank you with a demand for it, i just thought no, fuck you mate. he came after his shift (shift changeover's at 5pm) & DH tells me he recognises his face, says he lives in x street, so it actually cost him nothing as he has to pass my house to get to his own home anyway.

aibu? should i have paid the rude bastard a fare anyway?

OP posts:

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 31/10/2012 21:50

YANBU.

You were going to give a reward but he was rude to you so you gave as good as you got. If he was going past on his way home at the end of his shift it cost him nothing. It is really shitty to expect a reward and as for being grateful he didn't sell it, why the hell would you be? It's basic manners to return something lost, not do it for personal reward. What a bloody cheek. Grasping horrible man.

missymoomoomee · 31/10/2012 21:52

He went out of his way to do you a favour, you would have either had no phone or had to fork out a lot more than a fiver for one, and you talk to him like that? He sounds a bit rude, you sound downright ungrateful and nasty. To call his work (I assume to report him being rude) after doing you a massive favour is just spiteful too.

flossy101 · 31/10/2012 21:56

He does sound rude.

I'd be that grateful to have my phone back though I would have definitely given him a good tip. Loads of baby photos on phone, so would have been upset to lose it.

Original poster

GlitterySkulls · 31/10/2012 22:01

yes, i did call his work, as i don't expect to be shouted at while in the middle of saying thank you. except it turns out it wasn't his work, unless the phone operator is a liar. for the umpteenth time, i spoke to him like that AFTER he started shouting and demanding money (which i was already going to give him) and yes, maybe i shouldn't have, but if he's going to give it out, he should be willing to take it back. he done himself out the money, i didn't withhold it to be nasty, i just didn't feel he deserved it after shouting abuse at me unjustifiably.

OP posts:

missymoomoomee · 31/10/2012 22:09

"eh, i thought i'd AT LEAST get a fare off you, i've been down here twice already (he's a fucking liar as DH has been in all day & i've been in since the back of one) but no, never fucking mind" so i said "actually i've been trying to phone you all afternoon to tell you to just bring it down & i'd pay a fare, seeing as i needed it" and he goes "eh well, i was driving so want to gives it" & i said, "what, for four hours solid? no fucking chance after your attitude" and he says "eh, nice to be nice hen, i could have kept your phone but i didn't" storms off down my path,shouted something about me being a fucking something or other, so i just told him to "fuck right off you prick" & slammed the door shut.

In this scenario I don't see him demanding money, I see him asking for the fare (albeit rudely). He did deserve the fare, you didn't have to buy a new phone because he returned it. If he wasn't doing you a massive favour he wouldn't have been there so to try and report him to his work is horrible.

Original poster

GlitterySkulls · 31/10/2012 22:39

i have typed the OP so it's understandable to non-scots. to quote him word-for-word he said, "eh well, ah wis drivin so want tae gies it" - "want(pronounced whaant) tae gies it" is not a request, it's another way of saying "give me it now"- ie rude. if he'd said " i was driving, sorry" or something along those lines i would have handed the cash over & thanked him again.

i'm obviously a horrible person, not allowing people to shout and bawl at me for no reason whatsoever

OP posts:

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 31/10/2012 23:42

There are ways of 'not putting up with rudeness' from other people without lowering yourself to mirror the very behaviour you so strongly disapprove of. Behaving like a fishwife is not being reasonable. two wrongs don't make a right.

Shockedandhurt · 01/11/2012 00:04

I dont think YABU he sounds like he was rude and cheeky.
Not too impressed with this being described as typical scottish behaviour by other poster though

bruxeur · 01/11/2012 00:20

I dunno who was B more U. How drunk were both of you?

MrsKeithRichards · 01/11/2012 09:26

You're from Scotland so it's ok to declare everyone else from Scotland typically behaves like this?

Fuck off.

CuriosityColaKilledTheCat · 01/11/2012 09:34

He sounded incredibly rude, so I'm not surprised you lost it. Especially as he was demanding the money. I still think you should have paid the fair though. It's always easier to think of the smarter thing to say and do in hindsight.

I also take offence at the poster describing this as typical Scottish behaviour .

justmyview · 01/11/2012 09:49

And me ...........this is not typical Scottish behaviour. How offensive.

You're in the middle of thanking him and he interrupts using the f word? Doesn't ring true for me.

He should have gone away with a warm fuzzy feeling for doing the right thing. You should have gone away with a warm fuzzy feeling that there are honest people in the world. I actually think this is quite a sad story

KittyFane1 · 01/11/2012 09:51

Is this like "right, here's your phone, so hand over the fare then" ?
How much did he want you to give him?

bamboostalks · 01/11/2012 10:03

Are you not worried that he now knows where you live? What if he's a vengeful sort?

SuePurblybilt · 01/11/2012 10:07

It sounds like he was a bit rude and you were spectacularly rude.

noblegiraffe · 01/11/2012 10:09

Where was the fiver that you were going to give him? From the sounds of it you turned up at the door with no money in hand and no wallet out ready if he thought you weren't going to cough up?

DawnOfTheDee · 01/11/2012 10:18

I don't think the OP was being particularly U (maybe could've handled things a bit better...). Just because you're doing someone a favour doesn't give you the right to be aggressive and rude.

I've seen on many other threads where people have asked 'should they have said thank-you to me?' for whatever the overwhelming response has been that you don't do favours expecting thanks or reward but it's nice when you get them.

Missmuffet28 · 01/11/2012 10:34

For what it's worth op I don't think yabu I'd have done exactly the same I'd have possibly written his license details down too and done i don't know what with them but anyway!! I'm a perfectly polite well mannered person in all circumstances, but come at me like your taxi driver and you will get a piece of your own medicine, like you say you would have been perfectly willing to collect it from where ever you had to.
He probably planned from the beginning he would drop it off and then charge you for the pleasure!
Why should you have to pay him £20 just for returning something you accidentally lost? Can we as humans not do anything nice for each other for nothing any more?
I hope none of you lot ever find my lost property I can imagine you all sat at home wondering how much you should charge me to return it......

Original poster

GlitterySkulls · 01/11/2012 13:41

i had my purse in my hand at the time.

as in my OP, he wanted "at least" the fare, he didn't give an actual figure- the fare is around 2.70, so my fiver would have been a tip too.

he was fine with DH, perfectly nice, and yes, he did interrupt me thanking him using the f word.

tbh, no, i'm not afraid that he knows where i live. if he tried to hurt me, i reckon i could fend him off. if he tried to damage the house, the dog barks as soon as the gate's opened, so he'd be caught before he could do anything. if we were all out, next door's dog would bark & they'd catch him at it.

i too disagree that it's typical scottish behaviour, i've lost a few phones in my time, & found a fair few more, & i've never encountered something like this before.

OP posts:

wonderingsoul · 01/11/2012 14:46

hang on.. why should she have to pay some one to be abusive towards her, just becasue he did a decent thing?

i really dont see the lodgic in a lot of the posts.

my dads also a taxi driver, he gets nurmerouse phones/ laptops left in his car. he will contact them if possable. they wille thier collect it or if hes going past theres he woudl drop it off. and no way expects a reward for doing the right thing. its also called good custer mer service.. a good way to get reguler custermers.

UndeadPixie · 01/11/2012 14:56

He sounds ryue, but you do too. Responding in that way, shock or not, was not on.

Also, don't ask aibu if you don't want to be told yabu!

JessieMcJessie · 01/11/2012 15:05

"I've been in since the back of one". Long time since I heard that expression ( born and bred in Central Scotland). I never really worked out what it meant though- is it sort of between one and half past?

He sounds like a twat, to be honest after years living in London I always found Scottish taxi drivers to be miserable fuckers though, so his attitude doesn't surprise me. Would have been nice if you could have kept your cool, and thus the moral high ground but can see how that was difficult.

Original poster

GlitterySkulls · 01/11/2012 15:27

i judge it to be between 1 & quarter past, jessie- although some folk go only to 5 past & some up to half past- think it depends on exact area.

you're right, he was a miserable fucker, but i can honestly say i've never encountered a taxi driver like that before. most are chatty, & even the few dour ones are at least polite to you. and i find it really odd he was so nice to DH. i don't know, maybe he'd juST been bumped or something, but again, why me & not DH?

OP posts:

MadBanners · 01/11/2012 16:13

He did her a favor yeah, does not give him the right to be rude to her, she came to the door, was thanking him, had only been talking for a few seconds, and he chose to interrupt and swear at her, tbh I would have reacted the same and told him to stuff it then closed the door. He was rude for no reason, Op was rude in reaction to that, and probably just reacted without thinking about what she way saying.

It was hardly a massive favor as he stated his intention to drop it off when he was next in the area for a job. Favor or not you cannot expect to swear and be rude to someone who is thanking you, and expect to get away with it.

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