To think she's not 'sullen', she's just 8 months old.

[deemented]

My sister met my youngest daughter for the first time over the weekend. She's 8 months and because she didn't smile on command, apparently she's a sullen child. Forget the fact that my sister is a complete stranger to her, and she was surrounded by other strangers - my neice and two nephews as well as my Aunt, nope. She's sullen

Oh and my two year old will grow up not knowing if he's Arthur or Martha because he has long curly hair that i won't cut and likes to wear a pink hat. Apparently i will confuse him and he won't know which side he bats for.

I now remember why i live so far away from my family!

You don't have much luck with family, do you lovely?

Is their any land spare between you and the sea so you could move a bit further away from them?

Is your sister jealous of you?

wow
I would be sullen around them, they sound strange

i love your big lads hair, it cute :)

and your sisters mental, but you already knew that

an i'll come to your wedding instead lol

YaNbu. :)

YANBU at all. Unfortunately this is very common, I have had the same rubbish about my DD, now 10, since she was born. Only criticism from my husband's family, even though we don't see them much. No birthday cards, no presents, no interest in my DD or DS. I now refuse to go there as I know we are not welcome. Very sad.

Haven't these people read the "Grandparents' guide to being a normal grandparent"? which basically says "Only say lovely positive things about the child your child has created. Otherwise your child will slowly begin to hate you and when the time comes, will choose a worse retirement home for you"

not sullen, just selective!

FWIW I always like when a baby who doesn't smile at just anyone smiles at you, you know you have "made it" in their world [hgrin]

Were you not tempted to say that your baby is only like that around your sister, and for everybody else she doesn't stop smiling and giggling ?

They sound rather dim sorry. My aunt is amazing with children. She came to stay when dd2 about 18 months. She was so aware that she was a stranger to her she didn't approach her directly but sat at her little table and played with one of her toys eventually dd2 was so curious she went over in her own time. They played quietly for a while and were firm friends from then on. That's how a granny should be.

My 5 month old is apparent a 'diva.' to be fair she does cry if her grandparents so much as look at her. It's a vicious cycle of them being tense, making me tense, making her tense. No point explaining that she is the most social, smiley baby with everyone else as I just look like I'm making it up. So hard when it feels like people are criticising your baby for just being, well, a baby. You have my sympathies.

Bissy and her diva

I also get the passive aggressive shit down the phone:

'I saw such and such's baby they are such a lovely BIG bundle and full of laughs and smiles for everyone.'

Aaaarghhh (apparently she is too skinny too)

MIL always used to say DD was manipulative or crafty, when she cried, when she was a tiny little baby. Always
"She knows you'll come to her if she cries now."

Yes, surely that's the way it should be?

Merlottits, I wouldn't expose your older DD to that poison if she is getting to the age where she will understand.

Oh both my babies have been laughers and smilers, even to strangers in shops. My DS will stare at someone to catch their attention and then gives a gummy smile.

Some babies are smiley, some aren't. Your sis IBU.

It's annoying isn't it?

My mum used to project a whole lot of stuff onto my dd when she was about 2-5yrs e.g. 'she's hostile,' 'she's victimising me,'

Ignore!
My DD was (is) like this. She smiles when she feels like it not because she's being harassed to do so by an over zealous relative. We had all the 'sullen' 'not very smiley' comments which upset me, then annoyed me.

She is very independent and has a clear sense of humour now she's 3 and still won't smile on demand. In fact, she'll happily tell people to stop annoying her if they keep on at her!

I admire her strength of character. :)

op, your daughter is not sullen. she is a rational human being who has assessed her aunt and found nothing to smile about.

Interesting that there's a lot of mothers of girls making the same point, I think Travelin is onto something with her comment about the gender expectation for girls to is to smile and make the world a prettier place.

My mum used to project a whole lot of stuff onto my dd when she was about 2-5yrs e.g. 'she's hostile,' 'she's victimising me,'

Some of these comments are downright scary. It's quite disturbing how much malice gets ascribed to babies and young children. I'm glad you know it was your mum projecting Goodnight and nothing to do with your child being demonic

Totally agree with Travelin - girls are expected to be pleasant to look at and to do other people's bidding, not to be 'stroppy' or 'divaish' i.e. have a mind of their own. It's and

My FiL goes on and on about DD being scared of him and crying at the sight of him. She's 18 months, barely sees him, has no idea who he is, and usually first sees him at the end of a long journey or after a nap, when she's tired.

She gets compared to her cousins, who see the GPs all the time, and so obviously know them. It really makes me sad.