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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that your sexuality may be variable but that homosexuality cannot and should not be "cured"?

27 replies

DrSeuss · 29/10/2012 22:32

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00zhq9f/Stacey_Dooley_in_the_USA_Gay_to_Straight/
I can believe that you can be bisexual and make a choice to go with heterosexuality if family or society pushes you that way. In fact, I know just such a person. I can believe that you can be gay and repress that to the extent that you define yourself as straight because family or religion causes you to be ashamed of what you are. I also know just such a person. However, I can never believe that homosexuality can or should be irradicated from a person.
Some people are gay. Get over it!

OP posts:

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/10/2012 22:34

I had to turn that programme over as it was making me angry. I felt so sad for that boy whose mum likened having a gay son to having a son who is a terrorist.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 22:35

I recorded it and watching it now.

Blaming their dads for not been home enough as to why they are gay?!

That woman who likened her son to a terrorist! I thought WTAF!

2blessed2bstressed · 29/10/2012 22:36

I watched that tonight and just felt so sad for the young people involved. As for the dad who went to the camp with his son Skylar, and could "handle anything but his son being gay", well I just wanted to shake some sense into him! [hangry]

Original poster

DrSeuss · 29/10/2012 22:38

i know someone who came out to his parents as a teen. They are very religious and "persuaded" him that it was a phase and that he was not gay. I still feel that he is possibly bi and may be gay. In my opinion, he has repressed what he is as it was so unpalatable to his parents and the religion in which he was raised. His parents are now elderly and I do wonder about what will happen when they are no longer here.

OP posts:

GhostofMammaTJ · 29/10/2012 22:39

YANBU but I don't want to watch.

My DD 17 kept tellling me about 'getting off with' her female friends. Fine but why not tell her dad? Oh, he won't understand.

Then she told me about 'getting off with the proper lesbian'host at a party and how cool it was.

Now she is with some blokey person, again, ok!! Whatever!! I love her, gay straight, bi!! I just love her for her!!

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 22:39

It's like the camp is brainwashing them tbh. It's weird. If your gay your gay, who gives a shit?!

Original poster

DrSeuss · 29/10/2012 22:40

Ghost, you sound like a wonderful mum!

OP posts:

moajab · 29/10/2012 22:44

I saw this program advertised, but didn't watch it. I knew it would make me too angry. I'd like to tell the people at that camp to just be themselves and to like themselves for who they are.
As for having a gay son being like having a son who is a terrorist... well I have three sons. So what would I prefer? One of them settling down with a nice young man? Or killing lots of innocent people and blowing themselves up in the process? How can anyone compare these two situations? [hangry]

AntoinetteCosway · 29/10/2012 22:46

I watched this tonight. It was heartbreaking.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 22:47

Poor Skylar! Having to pretend he's happy having a GF. You can see its not what he wants

ProPerformer · 29/10/2012 22:49

Ok I missed this but was going to watch it! I am bisexual myself (married to a man because I fell in love with a man, but very openly bi) and have loads of Bi, Gay and Lesbian friends.

Should I watch this or will it cause me to annoy my neighbours by shouting at the screen and ultimately breaking the tv through throwing things at it? (ok I wouldn't throw things but would probably shout!)

pigletmania · 29/10/2012 22:51

It wa really sad, I just wanted to say to them be happy who yu are, don't try to be something you are not

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 22:53

Childhood trauma causes gayness fact

Male but no bond with your dad? That's why your gay.

Female but lesbian? That's because you have no bond with your mum

monsterchild · 29/10/2012 22:54

YANBU. Homosexuality isn't hurting anyone. I just don't understand the fear of it! It's like being afraid of mushrooms. If you don't like them, fine, but to say they are actually tomatoes in disguise is just plain weird.

akaemmafrost · 29/10/2012 22:55

Those men were in so much pain . I wanted to shake them and say "you only get one life!"

ouryve · 29/10/2012 22:56

YANBU.

And seeing that ad on buses travelling through our village always makes me smile :)

FloresCircumdati · 29/10/2012 22:59

YANBU. I couldn't bear to watch the programme as I've met too many people like that in rl, sadly.

ProPerformer · 29/10/2012 23:03

In... I really hope you are joking with your statement!

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 23:06

pro my other posts show I'm messing. If you watched the programme that is what a man says at the end

edam · 29/10/2012 23:12

Friend of my Mum's came out last year at the age of 65. She had to wait until her Mother died. How sad is that? (She lived with her Mother, had given up her career to become her Mother's carer.)

Happily life has really taken off for her and she's about to move house to be near her girlfriend.

People who think the 'wrong' kind of sexuality is a mental illness are just horrendous. It's that kind of prejudice that drove Alan Turing to suicide - one of the heroes of WW2 and one of the parents of modern computing, driven to despair by bullying police officers and psychiatrists. Shameful and the sort of thing that should NOT be happening in the 21st Century.

Wellthen · 29/10/2012 23:17

Why can proffesional psychologists not see the link between macho Dad+not very macho son = bad relationship. Have they not looked into the link between sexul abuse and those with problems with sex as an adult. Why would homosexuality be caused by something completely unrelated to sex when no other sexual behaviours are caused in the same way? Surely they have a basic understanding of human relationships and psychology?

I dont get this about America. Completely unscientific statements (like rape does not cause pregnancy) are allowed into the press and public concious. I just dont think that would happen here.

As a bisexual it made me proud that our country does not tolerate this kind of fake science and that I am accepted and loved for who I am.

TheCraicDealer · 29/10/2012 23:17

Basically the thought behind it is that all gay men have daddy issues The bloke at the end said he had never met a gay man who had a healthy relationship with his father- perhaps because said father is a bigot and will not support his child? Forcing their son into weirdy-beardy "let's go camping and hug in a non sexual way!" counselling weekends to change who they are? No?!

ProPerformer · 29/10/2012 23:28

in.... Doh!! Sorry!! Lol. I had read the rest.... Blame lack of sleep.

AdoraBell · 29/10/2012 23:48

Given that our sexuality is an integral part of who we are, like skin colour, YANBU. You can't cure homosexuality any more than you can cure skin colour.

I have also known people who suppressed their sexuality in order to conform, one who managed it for 5 decades, another who changed gender (I do know that's different to sexual orientation) once his children had finished Uni.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 23:50

Pro it is totally fact though. I'm straight as my mum was around. My little sister may not be now as my mum is a working mum so not around as much as was when I was little.

I don't have a bond with my dad so not sire if that makes me anything?

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