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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DH? Nipples!

30 replies

HtotheS · 29/10/2012 22:02

Since having DD a year ago I can't bare having my nipples touched/licked/tweaked!

He basically can't go anywhere near them, it makes me cringe

I breastfed and him touching reminds me of latching on and how painful it used to be at times

DH gets rather cross (frustrated) that he can't get his hands on them!

I need to get over my touching phobia!!

OP posts:
slowgin · 29/10/2012 22:06

yanbu. if it hurts then tell him to stop.

Original poster
HtotheS · 29/10/2012 22:07

It doesn't hurt I just don't want him to go anywhere near! Even gentle licking makes me cringe!!!!!

OP posts:
fluffypillow · 29/10/2012 22:07

If you don't like it, he shouldn't do it.

YANBU.

Sprite21 · 29/10/2012 22:08

I can't say it bothers me post -breastfeeding, but it's your body so you make the rules. And I can see why it might bother you. YANBU.
That being said, I think it's important to establish intimacy again after a baby. But that doesn't have to involve nipples.

GhostShip · 29/10/2012 22:09

I can see where this is going to go...

Tell him to stop being a soft git, frustrated at not being able to touch your nipples?! It's not like you're a nipple on a stick, I'm sure you've got lots of other parts he can feel if you want him to

My DP isn't a boob man which I'm glad off. Hate having them mauled

Naghoul · 29/10/2012 22:10

I don't like it either.

My DH does things to me that I like. He wouldn't do something if I wasn't getting off on it.

ToManyDicksOnTheDancefloor · 29/10/2012 22:11

I had this problem after breast feeding. Not due to pain, more that it reminded me of breastfeeding, which is not sexy. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and love having my nipples touched again, very strange.

WelshMaenad · 29/10/2012 22:11

I don't like having my breasts touched at all, never have. DH hasn't died of it.

They are your breasts, just tell him to find another bit of you to play with!

fluffypillow · 29/10/2012 22:12

Just to add, I'm still b'fing two years down the line, and I DO still like DH having a 'fiddle'Blush. He, on the otherhand is much more cautious these days (think he is worried he'll get a faceful of the white stuffGrin)

Original poster
HtotheS · 29/10/2012 22:12

Thanks for your comments

I wish I could get over it!!

OP posts:
BreakfastwithMrsBarderbedian · 29/10/2012 22:12

Yanbu

He needs to get inventive.

HappyJustToBe · 29/10/2012 22:15

They're yours. Not his. YANBU.

lucyellenmum · 29/10/2012 22:16

Sometimes i cannot BEAR to have my nipples touched, other times i like it, there is no rhyme nor reason to it, but i can become murderous if he gets it wrong Grin

Seriously though, if you don't like it, he doesn't do it, its that simple!

Original poster
HtotheS · 29/10/2012 22:16

Is it worth going to the doctors???

OP posts:
MrsCantSayAnything · 29/10/2012 22:20

I have always been like that OP....for the whole of my adult life. I actually couldn't breast feed because of it. No man has EVER been able to get near them.

I don't know why....anyone who comes near them is likely to be at risk of a clack round the head.

HeadlessForHalloween · 29/10/2012 22:24

Sometimes I can't bear mine being touched, no reason, other times I love it! I just guide dh elsewhere when I'm not in the mood. If he got arsy about it he wouldn't be getting anything !

JazzAnnNonMouse · 29/10/2012 22:26

It bothers me since breastfeeding too!

VoterColonelSebastianDoyle · 29/10/2012 22:28

Having my nipples played with at all doesnt turn me on in the slightest. Really doesnt do anything for me! Ive told dp he still plays with then but it doesnt bother me.

honeytea · 29/10/2012 22:29

They are your nipples you decide what happens to them. Tell him to go and play with his own nipples if he is so desperate for some nipple tweaking.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and loved my nipples being played with until recently, now milk comes out of them if I accidentally brush my top on them so no sucking/tweaking here :(

latenightmum · 29/10/2012 22:31

you need to discuss it with a therapist as it doesn't sound like you are able to mentally separate breastfeeding challenging memories with sexual breast intimacy. Tell him you have a problem and you're seeking help. Like the other ladies said direct him to other parts. I would be mortified if dh gave up on seeing my breasts in a sexual way after 4 kids, but if yours are off limits he needs to know.

Haggisfish · 29/10/2012 22:36

I feel a bit like this, and am hoping it wears off in about three years time, after sprog 2 and another two years BF! I 'get around' it by wearing a sexy bra in bed - I feel sexy, DH can still fondle and squeeze and finds it attractive, so a win win all round. I found it got better when my periods and ovulating returned last time - have yours come back yet?

BertieBotts · 29/10/2012 22:45

I had this after/during breastfeeding, it went away though. DS is 4 and I can't get enough of it now Blush but it's still excruciatingly irritating if they're touched at the wrong time, or if for whatever reason I'm not up for it.

Honey in my experience milk flow doesn't tend to happen when you're turned on, so might be worth trying?

honeytea · 30/10/2012 09:34

Thanks for the tip Bertie :) I think my dp might be a little nervous if milk does come, too much of a reminder of the baby in my tummy.

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 30/10/2012 09:35

I was the same after DD2. She was about 18 months before he could go near them, but it still has to be when I wanted it. He has been fine with it.

Naghoul · 30/10/2012 13:40

[hgrin] In my experience I got a 60ml feed on orgasm.....