WWYD - Running people home from work

[fourfingerkitkat]

I started a new part-time temporary job a few weeks ago, been out of work for nearly 3 yrs so the money is badly needed. One night a week I work late along with another girl. We both live about 15 mins from work but in opposite directions if that makes sense. She previously got a lift home with someone else but last week this person left early ( and will be from now on) and she got a taxi home. I felt bad about this and thought I should have offered her a lift. Mentioned to my DH that I would be in late tonight as I'd offer her a lift and he said that unless I'm getting fuel for free I shouldn't be doing this but just coming straight home. To be fair he has a point, I have to watch exactly how much I'm using the car because of finances being so tight but at the same time I feel bad leaving this girl to get a taxi. I suppose if it was me I'd be hoping someone would offer me a lift. Am I being a silly ?

caja I am at that, I hope your DH told them to get fucked? though as he has to work with them probably not wise and I really really hope he's not giving lifts anymore?

four you sound lovely, if you don't want to do it then don't feel bad at all, if you wouldn't mind doing it ut the cost is a problem then mayne ask of she'd like to give you x amount for petrol instead of a taxi ( its bound to be much cheaper than a taxi) don't do it for nothing though- there's no way you should be paying for anyone's travelling costs but your own

Four I agree, don't do it. What would this woman do if you didn't work there? Then that's what she needs to do.

You sound very thoughtful but don't do it . 30 to 45 min extra driving a day would be a lot of petrol over a month.

OP don't do it. Your colleague must have known her hours and transport needs when she took the job. Do not do it, you will end up out of pocket and resentful. It will be half an hour extra every day.

Caja IIWY I would be needing my car every night so the selfish bastards can never have another lift again - I am and on your behalf

I wouldn't want to make it regular purely to the time factor if nothing else. The money you can ask for when you first make the arrangement but half an hour at the end of the day is a lot, presumably also you'd be later home seeing kids etc also?

I wouldn't offer her a lift either. It'd be different if her house was on your way home, but as it's 15 minutes in the opposite direction, I'd feel no obligation at all to offer her a lift.

And, as others have said, you may inadvertently get into a situation where she ends up expecting you to drive her home all the time.

That's a really kind thought but I wouldn't especially as if she's in the wrong direction. It really will be more hassle than its worth.

I don't have a car (I live in the city centre and it would be more of a liability than anything, there is nowhere to park) and I certainly wouldn't expect a colleague to regularly drive me home from work (in the opposite direction, no less!)

It's her responsibility to figure out how she will get to and from her regular job. It's the sort of thing where you might do it a few times if her car broke down/she broke her arm or something like that, but as a regular thing it is not your responsibility.

Do you think the person who is now leaving early feels guilty? No, and why should s/he? If it was convenient for you to do someone a favour, then great, but if it's a hassle then you are not obliged to do it on an ongoing basis.

don't do it. it becomes a burden.

Don't feel bad about it, its totally out of your way and she hasn't even asked you anyway!

I got in a situation with a colleague where I used to give her a lift home whenever we had a shift together as she lived in the arse end of nowhere and the buses took forever. It was about 10 minutes past my house iyswim so I used to drive past my house to drop her off then turn round to drive back home. It became a real pita, she started requesting the same shifts as me, never paid any petrol money and a few times I gave her a lift to work and she would always be late

Agree on some petrol money, it will still work out cheaper than a cab, and you won't be paying out so much.

Jesus PipinJo...that's scared me out of playing the good samaritan.

You've all convinced me that I need to toughen up a wee bit and think of no1 and my DH & kids first. Came straight home last night to a cuppa, didn't feel too guilty.

Why do you think she would be able to sue pipinjo?

FOURFINGER, I can help you see it from the other point of view! I don't drive but get around fine using public transport and sometimes taxis.

I EXPECT to pay for taxis if I go to somewhere out of the way, late at night, or my kids go to activities that I've agreed to book them in for. I'd actually rather make my own way, as I then feel I don't owe anybody anything, (in petrol money, reciprocal favours etc). Drivers pay for petrol and everything else that comes with having a car, whereas I know I need to leave enough money spare for transport. (Actually not a big deal as I don't pay out for a car).

People are lovely and normally offer, but unless somebody actually seems offended that I've refused a lift and prefer to make my own way, I'll always thank them very much but say no.

In your case I wouldn't offer a lift to your colleague unless she actually asks, bearing in mind how far out of your way it is. She's probably similar to me, she took on the job knowing she'd need to pay for transport, and it's obviously not a problem for her otherwise she wouldn't have applied for the job

Do not do it.

Caja - surely he won't give them lifts any longer???

I'm not a driver and I hate this. I'm used to finding my own way by public transport/taxis. Now and then someone will insist they give me a lift - usually on the argument it's unsafe for me to walk a short distance, take a taxi. They are sometimes very insistent and make me feel like I'm really odd/careless to walk/take public transport/taxis. I offer petrol money but it's refused. Then I find out, they've slagged me off to all and sundry for accepting the lift.

If you don't want to do it, don't offer.

I agree with MLUDDY, us non-drivers are used to getting around without a car, and find it easier to do our own thing than get into complicated lift arrangements. I do appreciate that people mean well, but getting around really isn't a problem!

I went out with friends the other day and they were amazed I'd got a bus there and pre-booked my taxi back. They made me feel quite embarrassed actually, as they kept saying I should have called one of them, and what an expense and inconvenience it must have been for me

Honestly, when you don't run a car the odd fiver or tenner to take a taxi, or hopping on a bus really isn't an issue! You've also got the advantage of coming and going when it's convenient for you, rather than being tied to somebody elses timings.

When my kids were toddlers I had to explain so many times that it was much easier for me to hop on and off the bus with the pushchair if I was meeting or visiting friends, rather than have my car seat in somebody's car, and feel obliged to fit in with when they wanted to come and go. I feel far more independent and relaxed, sorting out (and paying for) my own transport!