to hate the cliche "busy mum"?

[MaureenCognito]

where are all the women who describe themselves as "bone idle sods who happen to have some kids in a cupboard somewhere"?

This makes me retch. Mainly because it's unfair to DP, we work the same hours out of the home and split child care housework equally. Well meaning people often say to me "ooh,I don't know how you work FT with children, I couldn't " etc, but no-one ever says that to him!

But then I am a teacher and work with (mostly) empathetic people and he is a printer who works nights - probably less likely that he will have that conversation with his colleague "Big John" and "Skinny Mike" . Who also incidentally do more childcare / housework than the media might present..

Loving this thread. I am a lazy mum and proud !!!

< well, sprays it with febreze, tis the same really>

So tired & bleary eyed I read 'bossy mum'. Works for me.

I always thought that 'hard-working families' was code for 'families in receipt of tax credits' - with the 'hard-working' being used to distinguish them from those less worthy recipients of other welfare benefits.

'Busy mum' sets my teeth on edge. It has a kind of knowing, patronising stance about it with the way that it insinuates an understanding, almost a familiarity if you like, about the virtuous nature of the subject's busyness that the speaker is talking about.

Ragwort I am of you!

I'm a busymum, most definitely . But then, French school, with its midday break and Wednesday off, means that there aren't great swathes of free time...

laqueen I agree with your observations but...saying that you run a home is just as bad surely?

Agree with LeQ. It's almost as of SAHM's feel the need to prove how busy they are as they know society places fuck all value on their contribution. I am busy but am looking forward to the lazy years when all 3 are at school! I often feel the need to tell people that I work freelance at home in addition to caring for a 5,2 and 4 month old.

See? I did it then too.

'run a home'
that phrase I hear a lot and I just don't like it

To me the term 'busy mum' makes me think of women rushing around doing activities of little importance to the big picture. Women too tied up in the small details of everyday life they are unable to critically think about anything else and therefore believe the claims in adverts that celebrate their busyness and their mumliness.

The implication I think, is that being a busy mum is the standard. If you're not running from football practice to cupcake sale to big pile of ironing to making gourmet meal for the family then you're not doing mumming right. This can only be done apparently with a hapless husband standing around ineffectually whist you whirlwind around icing biscuits and removing imperceptable stains and planning christmas dinner for fifteen with a smile on your face and a cheeky wink for your fella.

I guess if there was a busy dad stereotype he would be rushing home from the boardroom to home where his adoring kids would latch onto him like limpets and he would emanate a saint like glow as he put some washing in the machine (on the right cycle! With the right laundry stuff!) and some fish fingers in the oven. His beautiful out of his league wife would be stood gazing at him in deep admiration and would probably offer sexual favours as a reward for his busy dadliness.

yes - exactly that!

Any "Mums on the go" need a new handbag?

Busy Dad?

Nah. I'm stilll in my PJs and DSs are going to another SAHMs house all day. I suppose I ought to get a shower and put something decent on before she arrives.

what Laqueen said, 1000 times over

my beloved SIL is a sahm, and now the kids are at school she plans to go to Museums and have some "her time"

which I do NOT resent, really, she cant work really as my BIL works silly hours

But I did find it a tad insensitive given I work FT and do all the house shit at weekends

anyway, I am off topic now, majorly./...

Love it disembodied!

To be honest though, I think I do this "busy mum" thing rather well, to the extend that one of my SAHM friends said slightly resentfully to me that "it's all right for you, you don't have to juggle". I take that to mean that my juggling of work etc appears so effortless that I am the envy of the nation. >

Feeding them chocolate boobies? That one?

I remember years ago I was working full time and going to college at night to do my degree and a SAHM friend with two children suggested I do some task or other rather than her because "you have more free time than I have". I was a bit .