To not have made my 10 year old any breakfast?

[DinosaursOnASpaceship]

Ds1 is 10. I also have ds2 who is 8, ds3 16 months and am 26 weeks pregnant. I'm a single parent.

Because I have my hands full I've been trying to give ds1&2 more responsibility, including, bringing dirty washing downstairs, washing their cups after they've been used, putting their shoes and coats away instead of dumping them in the living room, being allowed a later bedtime, ds1 is allowed to walk to the shop, they both go out to play, etc.

Ds2 is fine, and will get on a do what he's asked. Ds1 not so much - the later bedtime and going to the shop he thinks is great but doing the little tasks that I've asked of him, not so much.

This morning, ds3 is being a pain and I'm feeling grotty so told the boys that they could feel free to make their own breakfasts. On offer is cereal, toast, porridge, fruit and yoghurt. Ds2 came back with a bag of crisps but was trying his luck, put them away, and made himself some porridge in the microwave. Then washed his bowl.

Ds1 however, hasn't eaten anything because:

The cereal looks stale
He doesn't know how to work the microwave
There is no fruit that he likes
There is nothing to eat

(the cereal is fine, there are four different types of fruit, I've explained the microwave to him. It's very simple)

He either wants/expects me to make him some porridge or he wants me to give him money to go to the shops and buy some waffles (his suggestion)

AIBU to not make him breakfast because he is basically being lazy? I'm sure he won't starve.

This is a common theme with him lately - declaring he is starving but not starving enough to make his way into the kitchen and make a sandwich/eat fruit/etc - what he means is that he wants junk, crisps or chocolate.

(I do normally do breakfast, lunch and dinner, but don't see why I should be jumping up every few minutes to get 'snacks' as they constantly request. Plus, ds1 will happily make a cup of tea, hot chocolate, etc. Hes capable and smart so not struggling with tasks)

I can see my food bill rising sharply, my boys seem to have reached the growth spurt starving stage!

Family breakfast at the weekend sounds great, get your ds1 & 2 to make it for you OP :)

My dts (10) are well versed in making their own breakfast at the weekend and a snack when they're hungry. No excuse at that age to not be able to make light meals, it's not neglect or laziness, it's teaching them life skills - like what we are meant to be doing as parents!

Stick to your guns op!

I am one of 5, 3 girls and 2 boys. The girls all moved out between 17 and 22. My older brother was still there at 30, expecting breakfast and dinner and washing and ironing. My younger brother, 25 is still there and my dad makes his packed lunch, I kid you not!! He goes shopping purposely to buy my brothers lunch!

DH was brought up with mum and 2 sisters who did nothing for him, he is a great cook, quite happily stands and irons (if football is in the telly) and probably does more housework than me, he lived along for 8 years before meeting me and didnt starve. That's what you want your son to be able to do!

Did he get his breakfast OP?
Boys can be buggers at times for it, DS can make alsorts but still does the "I'm starving and helpless" thing! It never washes...
Make sure you train him to make you a decent brew btw x

He ended up having two bowls of porridge and (after bringing the first bowl in looking pitifully at me - it was mainly milk with some oats floating round and a fork - I sent him to put it back in the microwave. Think he thought I would come and do it for him if he made out he couldn't do it) enjoyed them. I've asked him if he washed his bowl and he says yes but I will go and check,

He makes a fairly decent cup of tea, and is always happy to make one if he gets to have one too.

I know at his dads he takes turns to wash up with his brother, so he is just pushing his luck with me. I would quite happily let him starve though so he won't get very far with his complaining. He will sit there and tell md he's so hungry that he has a headache etc - but turn down the offer of something on toast, so he can't be all that starved. Ds2 will make himself a ham and cheese sandwich but I think ds1 doesn't see that as proper food.

I think I will stop buying the nice snacks, biscuits and crisps and instead spend the money on fruit loaf and bananas to fill them up when they are 'starving'

Brian - Im good thanks, just coming to the end of half term and looking forward to getting the older boys back to school, hope you are well x

Of course YANBU. You're his mother not his slave. You're there to help with things he's not actually able to do, not things he's just too lazy to do. Don't get involved in his drama - if he whinges about food just smile or shrug your shoulders - you provide plenty of food, so there really is no issue. Don't get cross or get into an argument about it, just give up responsibility for it completely and he'll soon see his whining is getting him nowhere.

As a teacher I always found that with lazy boys, comments that implied the boy was a bit of a baby worked to get their arses in gear. Things like "Oh I thought most boys your age could do that," with a slightly puzzled air usually works :)

As another mother of a 10 year old, yep... they are attempting to be lazy oafs at this age it seems!

DS has been quite capable of making his own breakfast (cereal or fruit) since he was 4! Yet he will still try it on from time to time! I just don't take any crap from him! Oh, and yes DS could make porridge too, as he uses the microwave with no problem!

I think the single most beneficial thing you can do for your children is to teach them life skills, and the art of self sufficiency.

DS made me my lunch yesterday! I'm 39 weeks pregnant, and under the weather with a cold. So I asked him to pop me some food in the oven. He did, with simple instructions, and he checked the food regularly, and bought it to me on a plate with a knife and fork when it was ready.

They can do it! They would just rather not! If he thought he could of got away without doing it for me yesterday, he would have wriggled out. But I have drummed in to him about taking responsibility a lot more because he won't be my only child any more, and babies take a lot of time up!

I've also taught him how to sort a load of washing, and use the machine. So you aren't being unreasonable in any of the tasks/responsibilities you have given him! DS has to take the rubbish to the wheelie bin, and pick up dog poo too, so your DS gets off lightly

I think you are doing all the right things with him! Carry on, and don't be manipulated (because they all try it on now and then!).

Oh, yeah. We have no crisps or snacks like that in the house at all.

We bake treats together, make jellies, yoghurt, even DS who is 4 next week helps. He helps me spread butter, peanut butter and other spreads on bread. DD2 who is 6 can do this herself.

I cannot abide laziness in anyone. NO WAY will I put up with it because I don't give it out myself.

My DSs 14, 6 & 5 make their own
breakfast everyday with no hassel.

I also have 9 month old twins so if the boys don't make their own they have to get up at stupid o'clock so i can fit it in.

They don't clear up but then i dont ask them to as i do all the clearing when i come back from the school run.

You are most definately unreasonable. I like to think i am saving my future daughter-inlaws from a life of servitude

Sorry * not being