To think older mums are 'allowed' to be more gushy about their babies?

[Proudnscary]

I had my dc at 30-ish. Lots of my friends and acquaintances have or are having dc at nearer 40.

It has really struck me that the latter group are 'allowed' to be more gushing about their births than the former group - more 'here is the love of my life' and 'I'm never leaving him/her again'.

One friend in particular was quite dismissive of my dc and any mention of them (and I am NOT a baby bore - quite the opposite). Now she is the one who makes sure all social arrangements and conversations revolve around her baby. It seems we were not allowed to 'use babies as an excuse' for not going out or changing our lives too much. With her it's the opposite.

Is it because people who had kids earlier were being sensitive to others who hadn't started families in case it was a difficult issue for them?

Has the world changed in 10 years and we are all more gushy?

Is it social media-related?

Do I just have one or two annoying friends?

Is that we are all at different life stage now at 40 ish?

I'm not knocking older mums (though obviously some posters will take it that way and say 'you sound charming' etc) - and I'm very very happy for my friends especially those who longed to have a family. I love their babies. It just bugs me that I feel I had to play down my dc.

I try to avoid gushing, and endless baby talk, with friends without children. I don't want to bore them, and until I was pregnant, I'd never ever have wanted to spend an evening talking about children. Perhaps if your an older mum, most of your friends have babies, and you don't have to avoid.

It could be partly an age thing - the age of the baby. Most people, ime, become baby bores for the first few months, me included and despite promising myself I wouldn't. understandably - it's pretty all consuming. And most snap out of it fairly soon too.

Facebook also makes it more obvious - but if you stick with it, it has lots of good things about it too, just make sure to only subscribe to people who make you laugh rather than or .

I've been told not to go on so much about DS as i'm young and have other things to do whereas person telling me this is 40 so her life should revolve around her baby... didn't even know what to say

Yikes, lola, that sounded bit rude of her!

I think if I'm honest I feel a little bitter (not a nice emotion) that I refrained from baby talk and made a big effort to go on nights out and be interested in her/their lives and jobs so as not to be boring and exclusive- and it was not reciprocated. Whereas now there is absolutely no pretence or effort to be interested in anything but their babies and a lot of the no nonsense 'advice' I was given is quite the opposite to what they are doing.

oohlala - good point.

I think it's more to do with having/not having children rather than age. No matter how nice your friends are, if you have children and they don't they will never really get what it's like. You're more likely for that to happen when you're younger. By the time you're in your 40s most people have children and so the topic of children is on the table so to speak. It's just easier to talk about babies to people who have had them.

That said, your friend does sound quite self absorbed.

I've found it the other way around, women in their late teens/early 20's acting like they're the only ones to ever have a child and those in the late 30's being more laid back less anal possibly due to having more life experience.

My late 30's friend had her 18 year old stepdaughter tell her that she could never know what true love was because she, unlike her, didn't have a baby.

I think its the other way round, older mums don't update the depths of their love for their special little guy/princess every five mins and don't tell you how they'ld die for them etc over cofee like the younger ones do

It certainly doesn't apply to all parents who never thought they'd have children - a couple I know were told that she couldn't have children, and they now have 2, both very much surprises. But as a result, they both make a big effort not to 'go on' about their children to other people.

I know how you feel op but don't think it's just older mums. I always try and have conversations that don't revolve around nappies children and the very dull minutiae of life but they generally work like this :
Me: anyone read any good books recently?
Other person: no.... Anyway did I tell you about little babys tea last night/contents of nappy etc
Me: silently dies a bit inside please tell me more...