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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sack my therapist?

51 replies

Tipsey0208 · 27/10/2012 18:49

I have been going to psychotherapy for about a year, and it's been really helpful, both in my initial cris and dealing with some deeper stuff. However today, my therapist seemed very distracted, then seemingly drunk and then she fell asleep when I was mid sentence. ( I know this sounds like a comedy sketch). When I woke her she apologised and said she was on painkillers for toothache and tried to resume things, but I stopped her, paid and left. I feel really cross. I have great sympathy for her toothache, but to even attempt a session if she was so unwell seems very unprofessional, and left me feeling embarrassed and pretty crap ... I mean if someone who you are paying £50 an hour can't even pay attention what hope do I have!! I feel like terminating the sessions as I feel some of the trust I have built with her has been broken, but starting with someone else now feels like a lot of lost effort. At the moment I feel like I would be better spending £50 a week on something else.

I know I am lucky to have the money to do therapy - I fund it from the criminal injuries compensation from a difficult event, so please don't have a go about that! But I would be interested in what anyone thinks.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 27/10/2012 18:51

To be fair, she has spent a year doing a good job. Toothache is an absolute agony, and if she was on strong painkillers she probably hoped she could get through the appt, but underestimated how groggy they would make her. I wouldnt have paid though for today.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/10/2012 18:51

Ummmm YANBU to be annoyed that she wasn't exactly on the ball today but you may be being a little unreasonable not to cut her some slack if she's on heavy duty painkillers. She was probably mortified.

UltraBOF · 27/10/2012 18:52

No, I'd say you should give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'd expect a free session.

cupcake78 · 27/10/2012 18:52

I don't think I'd sack her straight off but I would defiantly have a discussion about it with her! Yes it is unprofessional shed be better cancelling the appointment and explaining why.

MagicHouse · 27/10/2012 18:53

I don't think you should have paid her!

If she's been helpful in the past and this was a one off, I would believe her story and carry on seeing her.

Ask for your money back for that session though, or else that the next one is free. If she quibbles about that, then is the time to seek a new therapist.

Snog · 27/10/2012 18:53

Ring her up and tell her how you feel, see what she has to say then go with your gut feeling - I think she shoudl offer you a refund at least
sounds quite shit as an experience though so sympathy there

mutny · 27/10/2012 18:53

don't know. Although it made me laugh.

I would say that she didn't realise how badly the painkillers would have effected her.

Dh took some for toothache once and was out of it, but neither of us knew that would happen. Didn't expect it.

Tbh I can't see how a genuine mistake on her behalf could break such a solid trust. Do you not make mistakes?

Is this the only problem?

Laquitar · 27/10/2012 18:53

You can't 'sack' her. You just stop buying her service.

mellen · 27/10/2012 18:56

It might be worth offering to meet with her one more time to see if you think there is a chance that things can be resolved, but you shouldn't have to pay for that or for the last session, IMO.

Helltotheno · 27/10/2012 19:01

Agree with the others. You were mad to pay her. Plus the whole thing sounds a bit sus. I just don't buy this crap people come out with about taking painkillers for toothache etc when they're clearly off their faces. Slebs do this all the time. A painkiller is a painkiller, you'd want to have taken a large quantity of industrial strength painkillers to behave like that... But that's a different issue.
Tell her you want your money back.

Helltotheno · 27/10/2012 19:02

mutny really? Because I take some pretty strong painkillers for migraine and never have they had that effect on me. Maybe they just affect people in different ways but I'm

DolomitesDonkey · 27/10/2012 19:03

Tell her how you feel.

Part of the client-therapist relationship is being able to be honest. Call her out on it.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2012 19:05

You can't sack someone you don't employ.

But I agree with everyone else who suggested you give her another chance if she's usually a good therapist.

I wouldn't have paid her today, just re-scheduled.

GhostShip · 27/10/2012 19:06

You can't 'sack' her. You just stop buying her service
was just about to say that.

OP you're being a bit harsh I think. Just speak to her about it, let her know how you feel and hopefully it'll resolve it

WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2012 19:07

I have weird reactions to certain drugs Hell so it's not outside the realms of possibility that it was painkillers. If you saw me on piriton for example you'd think I'd drunk two bottles of wine.

Dolomites is right. Call her up on Monday, tell her how you felt, discuss it openly.

GhostShip · 27/10/2012 19:08

helltono - you have no idea what she'd had! Plus she may have had numbing stuff so that would have effected her. I've had tramadol and trust me, I was falling asleep in work!

Also been in work the day after having morphine and got sent home

squeakytoy · 27/10/2012 19:09

I had a tooth abscess recently, and the high strength prescription painkillers, coupled with the extra strong anti-biotics I had to take, made me feel in incredibly woozy and not with it.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/10/2012 19:12

I'm surprised she accepted your money actually - she should at least have given you a discount.

Original poster

Tipsey0208 · 27/10/2012 19:13

I can see I am probably being unreasonable - a lot of my therapy has been about trust issues so that's my excuse!

Not sure about the pedantic referrals to 'sacking' though, it's just the quickest word to write rather than 'stop seeing, making appointments with' etc. is that relevant ?

Yes I probably was mad to pay but I was becoming increasingly confused through the session at her responses and drooping face. When she fell asleep I just wanted to get out of there. I half expected her to refuse payment, and the fact she didn't felt significant - that I was paying her for a job rather than in a client/ therapist dynamic I guess. I think if she had stopped the session rather than try to continue, it would have felt much more straightforward. Mind you, as I write this I am seeing myself as pretty annoyingly navel gazing, so maybe I should just shut up!

Thanks for your input

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2012 19:17

Don't sweat it Tipsey when we were in Madrid (handbag stealing capital of the world) and one of the group's bag was stolen with the bartender's collusion we still paid the bill before we left. Tis the British way.

Ghost my DM was given Tramadol and we thought she'd lost the plot completely...

GhostShip · 27/10/2012 19:20

wilson I don't blame you because if she was anything like me, she'd be all over the place! They did work though, but I may have just forgotten about the pain ha

WilsonFrickett · 27/10/2012 19:22

We actually thought she had sudden onset Alzhiemer's! She had to be de-toxed down off them too. It wasn't at all funny at the time but we can [hsmile] now!

Natnat29 · 27/10/2012 19:26

Odd one out but I think you should sack her if that trust is gone

PacificDogwood · 27/10/2012 19:27

Hm.

I think she was unprofessional to be working when either in pain or under the influence of strong painkillers.

OTOH you are entirely right to feel a bit and .

I would expect a few session at the very least.
Ultimately, whether you go back or not should surely depend on how much you value her past input vs this slip-up.

Maybe you are 'done' with therapy?

Bumdrop · 27/10/2012 20:13

I think that is an appalling thing to happen in therapy.
If i fell asleep at work,
I would expect a complaint.
Painkillers ??? Pah ! She should have cancelled the session if she wasnt up to it,
And taking your money ?
Bloody cheek, get a new therapist .

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