To have had enough of London?

[Londonista1975]

Last Saturday the buses were up the spout in central London because of a union demo which caused me a bit of grief. It acted as a kind of catalyst about how I've been feeling about living here...

The dawdling hordes of tourists

Having no friends in my neighbourhood and having to travel miles to see them

Insane rents that are ever increasing

Not having a big amount of disposable income to do as much as I'd want, though I appreciate the fantastic free things here. But I don't always want to do the free stuff

A horrible commute that feels like a twice-daily workout and costs a fortune

I thought 'I can't do this anymore'. It is all too exhausting and I'm thinking I'm not suited to living here anymore. Maybe I never was. I look at friends up north with a seemingly better quality of life and wonder why I've been here for so long. Sometimes I feel utterly broken.

Has anyone else felt the same?

We don't have kids yet, by the way, so a move would be quite practical in some ways. Maybe Bristol or Leeds, but then maybe it's a case of 'green grass'...

Jobs and wages are probably the biggest drawback if you leave London.

Everything else, except public transport is cheaper and easier.

Public transport, may or may not be cheaper, but unless you live and work in exactly the right places it doesn't matter.

Without the tube city buses and trains go to the centre that's it! They very rarely go where you actually want to go, when you want to go there.

Always using a car is £££

The 'having no friends in your neighbourhood' factor was important for me. I spent one Sunday travelling from South to North london for a friend's birthday party, and it took me nearly 2 hours each way.

I thought I could have lived in Bristol and spent the same time travelling to see them. My job at the time wasn't well paid, and most of my money went on rent and travel. There really wasn't much left at all.

People used to say 'but there's so much to do in London!' but really, I couldn't afford to do much of it, and thingd like eating at trendy restaurants etc were just out of the question. Because I could rarely afford cabs, nights out would end with either the miserable schlep home on a late bus or kipping on a friend's sofa. I just thought, I'm getting too old for this...

Now I have a lot of friends in walking distance (very appreciated with small children and a buggy) - plenty of place to walk to and meet, and even the friends I think of as being 'across town' are twenty minutes drive max.

The friends I know who enjoy London life the most are either very wealthy, or have managed to create a kind of 'village' there, with friends who live locally and a local pub etc. Or they are single gay men, tbh.

And a lot of it depends on what you grew up with, I think. People very used to London never seemed to be bothered by all the commuting and crowds. I never got used to it.

I honestly think London is better to live in if you have children.

DH and I lived and worked here for four years and I hated it for all the reasons you mention. We then moved abroad for 5 years and returned and had our 3 DC here and I love it. Having the children means now we know loads of people locally through school etc in a way we never did previously. There is so much free stuff to do, lots of families living very close together, great transport (we never use the car), fantastic parks, lots of services eg, hospitals, playgroups etc all on your doorstop. Financially it was also the smartest move we made as we have made more on our house than I have earned over the past 6 years (I appreciate we are very lucky - we could not afford a house here now if we were jsut moving in).

But we are moving out - usual reasons of can't afford a bigger house/need a secondary school/closer to family. However, I will miss our day-to-day life a lot and jobs etc will be much more difficult. I also grew up in Newcastle and I think the smaller cities can offer a better standard of living.

I dispute the Johnson thing about if you are tired of Lndon you are tired of life. It used to bother me but now I realise it's actually Not True!

Anyway - I work in London, commute in and commute back out again. It's fine for me. I agree that it probably helps to have a lot of disposable income to really enjoy living in the thick of it.

I am also pleased not to have to go through the epic-looking process of finding secondary schools in London. Where I am now there is a choice of two, either of which I am happy with.

We moved out 5 years ago - never regretted it, even though we had lived there 20 plus years.

and
I am also pleased not to have to go through the epic-looking process of finding secondary schools in London. Where I am now there is a choice of two, either of which I am happy with

that^

Live in Kent, you can hop on the short train journey back to London and then come home again.

I moved out of London 8 years ago to Herts. I don't miss living in the city at all but if I do want a visit it's only a short train journey away. Was the best move I ever made but wish I had done it sooner.

London was brilliant for a few years in my 20s. Though I buggered it up slightly by meeting future DH within 6 months of moving there :) Moved further and further out, zone 2 to zone 5 and then to Kent, have never looked back. I don't know how people living there with kids do it out of choice, would drive me nuts.

I love being able to go out there of an evening and then get the hell out again. Or take the kids up for a day and be tourists. I have always been drawn to green spaces though, even in London I lived in more leafy areas - it isn't a bad city for greenery. I just like a bit more space, room to breathe, fresh air (though I live near M25 and M26 so debatable...) , being able to see the stars at night through less light pollution, hearing livestock mooing and baaing in the morning not cars using my street as a rat run.

There's so many versions of living in London. Mine is DS goes to local primary, so we walk to school, lots of local friends. also lots of our friends live in same area too, so it's hugely sociable and is kind of villagey in an urban sort of way. Abundance of cafes, parks, markets and shops nearby so we can do pretty much everything on foot, but obviously we also have all the joys of London on our doorstep too. We're not in an affluent part of the city, but I wouldn't live anywhere else now, as I love it. Does sound like your version of London is v.different though...

Have you lived here long? I found it difficult to adjust to London to start with, but it's really grown on me, and I honestly can't imagine living anywhere else.

We live in quite a rough area of East London (so I wouldn't be averse to moving to a 'nicer' part if we could afford it). I do think there is warmth and sense of community here though, and from what I've heard of other people's experiences, you often don't get that in affluent suburbs or rural villages. Kids still play out in the street (though this is not always as nice as it sounds ). The dog-walking 'community' is very friendly. Local shops and takeways are 5 minutes walk away and open late and every day, supermarkets and cinema a short bus ride. The new Westfield is around the corner.

My commute is at least an hour on train/Tube, but it's a chance to read, and I don't even mind standing up - it's probably good for me as I sit down all day at work, and it's good for my balance :) I think the public transport is amazing, for all the complaints about it. I rarely wait more than 2 minutes for a bus or Tube. Station is 5 minutes walk away. Buses run all night.

I know what you mean about the hordes of tourists, but they're here because it's a fabulous place. I like being able to walk around Hyde Park in my lunchbreak (and got to see the Olympic triathlon/swimming this way), in summer I wander along to the Proms on a whim, sometimes I walk part-way home through the parks and past Buckingham Palace and Westminster. If I want to go to a concert or exhibition or movie at the ICA/BFI it's right there, no planning needed. I can walk (or hop on a bus for a few minutes) to the shops in Oxford St or the Kings Road after work if I want. I think it's fab.

I moved from London to Leeds and love it. Our quality of life is fantastic. And while there are fewer jobs, there are also fewer people chasing them so if you are good you will do well. It is undeniable that there are more cultural activities in London, but you're only a couple of hours away on the train.

I love London but do recognise that it isn't for everyone. Why not visit a few other places and see whether they work for you?

I live about 25 miles out of London in somewhere leafier and quieter if not necessarily cheaper. Can still pop back for theatres or whatever. Most of my neighbours seem to be younger professional couples that have swapped a flat in the big smoke for a house with a garden once they got DCs. I'd say you're normal...

I'd say, take the jobs thing seriously. Not only are there fewer jobs in other cities, there will be less of a range of jobs in many industries. We would probably on balance be financially better off if we left. The main reason we don't is that London is the only place where the truly exciting jobs that can lead us on to better things exist (in DP's industry particularly).

Give it a few more years and I think we'll bow out too, and be quite content to tick along at whatever level we've got to. But for now we're in a sort of rocket booster period. So it depends where you are in life a bit.

We're in a lovely part of London with green spaces, plenty of families etc. If we were not around here, I would move. I couldn't do gritty London anymore - not with a family.

The one thing I do miss about London is my one hour commute door to door, as I was able to read lots. Can't do that on my 10 minute cycle ride now we're outside London.

When I lived in London I used to pity people who didn't have all the excitement and goings-on there, but now I'm away from London I love the great local schools, the countryside, the fresh air, the friends and neighbours and all the excitement and goings-on my new, small and very vibrant city has to offer.

Shame about the reading, though.

YANBU.

We left London this year to live in the Surrey Hills and we love, love, love it!
Have not looked back or regretted leaving London for a single second.

Because of our jobs we needed to stay near London, plus it is where most of our friends are so we did not want to move too far away so we ruled out relocating to another city, although we did briefly consider Bristol.

In London, we were fed up of the crowds, the noisy drunk people outside our flat at 2am, the litter, not being able to afford to buy (despite having really good jobs) and having to rent, not feeling safe walking home alone after dark....the list goes on. Plus we are not really 'city' people at heart and most of our interests are outdoors based. We also both knew that if we have DC in the future, we want them to grow up in the countryside.

Since moving to the Surrey Hills we have bought a house with a lovely garden, we love the peace and quiet and how civilised it is in our new neighbourhood - no one would dream of dropping beer cans in our front yard here! We love being able to go running and cycling in the countryside from our doorstep, we love the country pubs and sense of community. We have not found that our social life has suffered - quite the opposite in fact as our London friends love coming to stay at our house in the countryside.

I also spend less now - in London I always used to get bored and go shopping or out for over priced lunches and nights out, but now I just running or cycling. Oh and I have lost weight too!

It would not be for everyone, and indeed some of our hardcore London loving friends were horrified about our move and could not understand at all why we would want to move - each to their own.

The only downside is the cost and time of the commute to London for work - but cost is offset as houses so much cheaper and I tend to use the time on the train to read so don't really mind it that much.

Lived there until I was 24. Not missed it once. Not even a tiny bit.

Scholes you should read for 50 minutes when you get home, while standing up and pretending to be on a train/bus :).

I agree about the jobs though, when it comes down to it that's the real reason we're here. It's not just about the job you have at the moment either, but about what happens if/when you're looking for the next opportunity, and what happens if you're made redundant - depends on your field of course, but for both me and DH we have a much better chance of finding another job in the London area.

You don't sound as if you really want to be living in London, OP. Personally, we love it here (we moved from the commuter belt into Zone 3 when DS started school, which the other way round than usual) and apart from Hong Kong and Washington, I couldn't really be tempted to live anywhere else

The one thing to consider if you do move out is that it will be very very hard to afford to move back to London if it doesn't work out, so be really certain that your desire to move away is not a short term one

I live down a dirt track in the middle of nowhere now, but have also lived up a very high mountain in the middle of nowhere. Both of them have/had fabulous social lives that would amaze Londoners who pity poor non-Londoners for their lack of goings-on. Parties at country houses, music festivals, major sports events, etc. Theatre does tour 'the provinces' (such a condescending way for Londoners to talk about the rest of the country!) and we actually live only a couple of miles away from a very highly regarded theatre in an old water mill which is itself down a tiny lane yet always manages to appear in the 'best of non-London' theatre pages. We don't miss the night buses and tube, as taxis are so cheap and even long distances are covered so much quicker once you set foot outside the M25.

I'm struggling to see how I am going to fit in all the things I want to do between now and Christmas - there is so much on!

I also live in Kent, it's a half hour train journey to London, which means you don't have to give up the well paid work, but just the shit that goes with living in London.

Partly though, it's the mentality of what Londoners chose to put themselves through. You have 'great transport' on London but you end up travelling more than any normal person in the rest of the country would do. My friends "up north" thought it insane that I'd spend nearly 2 hours travelling on public transport to go to someone's house for dinner and then not stay over, but if you live south of the river with friends north, that's just what you do. If when I was living in Sheffield I invited a friend over who lived in Stockport, they would of course stay over, (probably make a weekend of it) the idea of not offering them a bed for the night would be considered completely unacceptable, yet the door to door travel time on public transport would be less than when friends from Zone 3 north london visited us in zone 3 south east london, but they wouldn't always stay.

I think perhaps you need to look at why you live where you do in London, if your friends don't phyisically live in the same area, or even within 20minutes, it's like living in a town when you don't know anyone. If you stay in London, move near friends, once you have DCs, you stop doing that "meeting for a drink in central London after work" thing and then the distances between when you live become much clearer. It gets harder to see people and you get more isolated.

Not if you live in SE London these days, Dontmind - I can get from my place in Canada Water to friends in Dalston/ Stoke Newington in less than half an hour now the E London Line has been converted to the London Overground

I've just moved from London to an even bigger city for work and God I miss London! It really has everything you could ever want. I'll always adore it but sadly the extortionate rent and the marathon commute became too much.

There is nowhere quite like London though.

No just don't get why people love London. You see on Location Location people looking round horrible hovels that cost £300,000 - WTF? Just because they are in trendy areas with wine bars and cafes? We have nicer wine bars and cafes and pubs near me, and they aren't packed full of loud oiks and charging a fortune for a pint either.

Can understand that some of the buildings are nice and it has lots of history etc. But it doesn't excite me in the slightest. Much prefer, say, Edinburgh. Or Paris or Rome.