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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Walking/reins/free range/holding hands

54 replies

cheekypickle · 25/10/2012 19:43

Okay so not really an AIBU but need quick advice.

At what age if ever did you use reins? I have DD who is 14months who I would love to get out of pram at times

What did you do?

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 25/10/2012 21:03

Neither of mine would do reins either. Both would either conduct a sit down protest, or swing from then.

I used the Little Life back packs which they both loved. I used to put a box of raisins and a cup of water in there and they felt all important carrying their stuff, I don't think they actually noticed the strap.

Downandoutnumbered · 25/10/2012 21:07

We tried reins with DS - no dice. He's free range but we always have the pushchair with us so that we can put him in the mobile prison if he won't behave.

maddening · 25/10/2012 21:14

I tried reins but ds turned in to a screaming banshee when ever I tried to put them on haha.

So we would walk holding hands and if he made a break for it he went straight in the pushchair so now walks well holding hands but bolts whenever we get in a building. I am going to get one of those backpack buggies so can walk more with him as on my own I can't push the pushchair and have complete control of ds.

DidYouMeanToBeSoRude · 25/10/2012 21:17

Free range in park / similar but reins in smaller spaces, and sometimes still pushchair if I need to be quick or relatively stress-free - DD is 20 months and does like to run off at every available opportunity, but does not consistently hold hands - only when she feels like it Wink

WelshMaenad · 25/10/2012 21:19

Dd held hands, mind you, she didn't walk till she was 2.5.

DS holds hands but we also use a ll rucksack with rein as he is an occasional bolter.

Do what works for you!

Bunnyjo · 25/10/2012 21:25

I know reins are like marmite, some parents love them and some hate them. Personally I like to let DS (he is 17mth) have free run around safe areas like parks and fields, but I prefer reins for in the middle of the city centre - he will sometimes hold hands, but it only takes a second for him to yank his hand out of my grip and run off.

Littlelife backpack reins are my favourite - we had the ladybird one for DD and have the dinosaur one for DS.

MainlyMaynie · 25/10/2012 21:33

We use a LL backpack for walking to places and in shops, but not in parks etc.. DS loves the backpack, he goes and gets it when he wants to go out.

Naghoul · 25/10/2012 21:36

I have the boots ones, they come with clips that I can use to secure Baby Goo into the buggy. Well, I say secure, I mean, delay her escape.

I also have a wrist strap. We walk along main roads, no way am I letting her free range.

When she is bigger I will use the little rucksack like we did for DS but ATM I need to catch her if she falls.

midseasonsale · 25/10/2012 21:40

at 18 months when my DS was small but not sensible enough to walk on pavement and I found bending to hold hands too hard.

mummyonvalium · 25/10/2012 21:44

Two boys - hand holding only. Luckily, DS1 is naturally cautious and never runs out into the road; DS2 is another matter - he needs to learn a little more fear and I worry reins may inhibit this process.

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 25/10/2012 21:45

I've never used reins. Weird personal hang up, I don't like them. I understand why people use them though, just couldn't use them myself.

I don't use a pushchair either. DD and now DS (he's 13mo and has been walking since 9 months) both got/get the same treatment. They can roam when we're in a safe place but near roads, on the school run, busy places etc, they hold hands. If they don't hold hands, I put them in the sling. DD picked up the rules pretty quickly and never once ran off. DS is a bit more spirited in every way but understands that if he doesn't hold hands when asked to, I will just stick him on my back.

LollopingLil · 25/10/2012 21:49

DS hated the standard reins, hates holding hands, but loves his little life backpack.

He is a bolter and at the same time, very high energy. He can walk for miles if steered in the right direction.

seaweed74 · 25/10/2012 22:01

I used reins and now LittleLife backpack for dd1. Few weeks ago someone thought they were being really funny saying to me that they thought leads were for dogs! I smiled while inwardly thinking what a t**t! Dd1 is 3.9 years but as she has autism (and no sense of danger or ability to stop when told) she wears reins!

Dd2 is 11 months and has been walking for 2 months. When I'm brave enough to let her walk outside the garden (2x reins plus buggy plus dog = tricky) she will be in reins/backpack too. Again this is because she doesn't have any sense yet.

People who think reins are cruel should appreciate that some children would be in very real danger without them. Obviously there are dc who have a quick grasp of safety and don't need them!

Sorry for rant. Sore topic [hblush].

IneedAsockamnesty · 25/10/2012 22:09

reins and hand holding basicly hand holding but the reins are on if they let go.

no matter what other people think i would rather have cats bum faces (have never seen it in rl) than a run over child.

aldiwhore · 25/10/2012 22:14

It all depends on the child. My eldest didn't require reins in any form because he had a natural fear for anything that may be a hazzard. (Really!)

My youngest has no fear of anything and wanted to walk and run before he could even stand. I bought him wrist reins and he nearly snapped his wrist with them (and mine), I bought him standard reins and he objected. In the end I bought a back pack with a 'lead' he was one those from walking age until 'refusal' (which happened far early than 'acceptence of danger') and they were fantastic.

After his flat refusal of these devices (which saved his life and my sanity many times - even coupled with the usual 'stop, look, listen' mantra) I had to grip his wrist often, which was a lot worse.

He's 5 now, and I still have to be drill sergant with him, he knows no fear at all... I long for the age of reins.

ArtVandelay · 25/10/2012 22:19

I used reins on DS when he was about 12 months because he would literally just run into solid objects and brain himself. Since my DH can't handle the embarrasment of reins (not British) I have since reverted to a combo of buggy and handholding. If DS was still as mad as he was at 12 months I would be reins all the way and I always carry a wrist strap in case he gets ideas.

PurplyWurply · 25/10/2012 22:22

I say go for the Tommee Tippee Explora Reins with Handle too!

The handle at the back of the neck can be used for closer holding when crossing roads, supporting them when climbing stairs.

You can loop the long rein through the handle to secure them in a high chair or supermarket trolley. My DC could easily defeat any high chair or trolley safety strap.

Also looping the long rein through the handle shortens the rein enough for them to run around when you are letting them free-range. With standard reins it's more difficult to loop the long rein and they just trip over the long rein or you have to struggle to get them out of and back into the reins if you want them to run around.

Backpacks are good if your child doesn't bolt onto roads - the backpack lead is too long for some kids.

JollyJackOLantern · 25/10/2012 22:22

I've occasionally used reins. Ds is now 18mo. We rarely use the buggy now and he usually holds my hand when walking. Sometimes he goes free range though. We live in a village so there's not loads of traffic to worry about. Me giving him into trouble has pretty much cured him of going on the road though. And I carry him if we need to cross any road. Reins are particularly useful in shops I find.

CBear6 · 25/10/2012 22:31

DS is 3yo and is in a Little Life backpack when we're out and about, our main route to anywhere takes us alongside a main road, I have 13mo DD to contend with and he's a bolter. He has no sense of danger, selective hearing and a willful streak six miles wide. He goes free range in the park, the shopping center, our very quiet street and the street where his nursery is on the understanding that if he overtakes DD's pushchair or runs off then he goes back on the reins.

We've been trying to 'wean' him off the reins but he flat out refuses to hold hands, the most heartstopping moment of my life was him pulling free and bolting into the road in heavy traffic. Thank fuck the cars were stationary, if they were moving he'd be gone :(

Our plan is to gradually increase the free range times and his road sense but we have no time limit for the reins coming off permanently. I seem to be one of the only people round here who uses them but I don't care, I'd rather be judged for being that woman who has her kid on reins than be pitied as that poor woman whose kid got run over.

fluffypillow · 25/10/2012 22:37

I have used a Little life backpack since my DD was 14months (she's now 21months), and I think it's great.

She's got the one with the sparkly wings, so cute! I say to her 'let's put your wings on then!', and she is really happy to wear them, she loves them.

I only use them now in busy places. If it's quiet, or we're at the park etc.... she just goes 'free range!'.

skyebluezombie · 25/10/2012 22:46

I had to use reins as DD was forever running off and would NOT do what she was told. She liked the freedom of running along in them and I knew that I had got her safe. But if she didnt want to go somewhere, she would simply swing off the reins and drive me mad!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 25/10/2012 23:16

We have a little life backpack and it's much like walking a dog Blush, DD loves the idea of it but likes wearing it less, all depends on her mood. She'll happily hold our hands though. I'm very strict about hand holding and if she doesn't she's straight back in the buggy.

Ozziegirly · 26/10/2012 04:34

I used reins with my DS from when he started walking at 11 months, if I needed to know that I could stop him bolting (he basically walked, then ran a week later). He would go free range in the park etc. I wanted to get him walking independently as soon as possible as I was quite keen to jettison the pram.

He probably kept on with them I guess until he was about 17 months or so and then suddenly stopped bolting off.

Even when he had reins I still (from day 1) told him "the rule is, we hold a hand in the car park and when we cross the road" and he is fine at doing this now.

We had little monkey backpack ones and I never got any sneers at all - but he was so weeny that I think people were more surprised that he was walking at all.

SunshineOutdoors · 26/10/2012 04:53

This is going to sound a bit silly but can you get those littlelife backpacks not in an animal character design? Just looking like a normal, plain backpack?

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 26/10/2012 04:58

DS (now 4) was another who'd lift his legs up and try to get me to swing him. Hilarious Hmm

So we compromised and held hands - he's still very good (reminds everyone around him Blush) at holding hands when crossing roads etc and so far I've only had him properly run away from me once (thankfully in a park but I was 8months pregnant with SPD, had to get some random to give chase for me)