Am 19 weeks and looking at the clothes suddenly started to make it all feel very real. Don't know why I'm so emotional. The clothes are ridiculously cute and I think I almost can't believe I'm going to have something to put into them sooner or later.
I am constantly worried about this baby not just because it's my first or because I'm a neurotic nutcase but because DH has a disability we are hoping won't be passed on and because I still can't believe that I will be one of the lucky ones who have a healthy baby.
Suddenly looking at clothes has brought all this to the surface. I am sad (why?) and happy in equal measure. Am I mad?
I am suffering badly with hip pain and am exhausted as I can't sleep.
I think I need some chocolate. 