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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If one child asks for a 3DS XL and the other only asks for an Easel and paints WWYD?

39 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 23/10/2012 00:29

Do you tell the child wanting the expensive thing they can't have it because their sister only wants an easel?

Do you tell the easel child they must pick something more expensive?

Do you buy the easel child things they've neither asked for nor want to make up the cost?

Do you get the DS for one child and the easel for the other because it is what they've asked for and it will all even out in the end when the older child has outgrown gadgets and wants clothes vouchers and the younger child still wants the newest consoles?

I am being an evil mummy again.

The child wanting the easel is also getting a fish tank with filter, pump, heater and light from someone else and a hand crafted miniture gypsy style sweet cart. We will need to source the fish, gravel, plants, water testing kits and chemicals, which I am certain are not cheap and fill the cart with sweets.

The older child is getting a hand crafted dolls house all set up and ready to go, we will need to add nothing.

OP posts:

BellaVita · 23/10/2012 07:36

We made up the difference last year with our boys. Only be be because they are teens and would definitely notice .

Whistlingwaves · 23/10/2012 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldenjubilee10 · 23/10/2012 07:46

Get them what they have asked for. It will all even out over time. Ds2 (15) got a computer for his birthday. It cost £5.50. He got it because that was what he needed at the time. Ds's 1&3 got way less than half of that spent on them but will get what they need when they need it.

INeedThatForkOff · 23/10/2012 07:58

Bargainous computer!

nokidshere · 23/10/2012 08:01

Get them what they want. I dont see the need to spend money when its not necessary and they will be happy if they get whaats on their list.

holidaywoe · 23/10/2012 08:34

You don't say how old the children are but I would think that if the child getting the fishtank easel and sweetie cart will think they have more than a tiny teeny Ds .
This situation never rears it's head in or house as my two lads make a joint list ( their choice and idea) and all pressies go in the one huge pile .

EdithWeston · 23/10/2012 08:38

You have the resources to get you DCs much more than I could dream of being able to do.

I'd say do it, for one never knows what is round the corner and if you will be able to spend so much again.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/10/2012 08:44

I try and even out the number of presents rather than the cost. My Dcs have an imbalance from other people (DS's 2 godfathers are also his uncles so they buy gifts for both children as Uncles, whereas DD also gets gifts from her non-family godparents and hence always has two more) so I try and get something extra for DS.

BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep · 23/10/2012 09:00

I wouldn't try to match money spent but number of presents to open.
That's what my mum always did and we had no clue how much things cost and actually didn't care much even when we had an idea.

We preferred getting things we liked (my DB and I never asked for presents so it was all a lovely surprise) and when she needed cheaper presents to make up the number my mum bought other stuff we needed, like socks or slippers etc. or on one memorable occassion I got a lamp shade

honeytea · 23/10/2012 09:08

Could you buy extra painting stuff for the younger DC, things like glitter glue and stamps and gold/silver pens :)

UC · 23/10/2012 09:13

I would buy them what they ask for in your case. I've had the conversation with our DSs - although in relation to birthdays - I said that the presents won't always cost the same because they need or want different things at different times. This year, DS2 had a new bike, while DS1 had a penny board. The bike cost 3 times as much as the penny board. But they were both what they wanted to have.

Surely it's about what they would like to have (isn't a Christmas list a "wish list", my kids certainly don't expect to be given everything on the list - it's ideas for Santa), rather than adding up the pennies to ensure the same is spent on all? What they have asked for is what is going to make them happy. Spending the same amount on both, but getting neither what they've asked for is just going to lead to disappointment on both sides.

Original poster

D0oinMeCleanin · 23/10/2012 09:37

They are 9 (3DS) and 5 (easel)

The five year old is behind at school and under SEN. She prefers having 3 2p coins to 1 £1 coin because the 6p is more in her eyes, so I highly doubt she will turn around on Christmas morning and say "Hang on, my easel cost much less then her present, where's the rest of my stuff?"

OP posts:

Moominsarescary · 23/10/2012 09:51

My friend once gave me some angel fish, they ate all the other fish!

Weve always had this problem as have large age gaps. Ds1 is now 17 and will get a set amount of money, ds2 is 9 and has written a list. It doesn't come to the same amount as ds1 will have in cash. Ds3 is 19 months so will just get a few things we think he will enjoy.

ImperialBlether · 23/10/2012 11:20

Oh for goodness sake, OP, she's only five! Of course you should just get her what she wants. An easel would be lovely for her.

I think if you deliberately spent less on one child, eg allowed one child a laptop (when they both wanted one) and bought the other something for a fiver, then that's completely different.

Christmas should be about having the present you love - you're doing that for your daughter.

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