to ask you how I can remove my fingers from a clay penguin?

[GeorgianMumto5]

...To which they are bonded with superglue.

Obviously I am stupid, so try to refrain from telling me that. Soap, hot water and a teaspoon handle are having no effect. That's what it says on the bottle. I feel a tit and I"m missing Downton. Please help!

It took a long time and I lost some skin...DH was very contrite afterwards! Table was ruined, had to scrape off all the dried in glue and then sand it down and repolish it.

Glad to be of service, Georgian

I'm literally lauging out loud at this thread

Thanks for cheering me up.

I wouldn't worry. When DS1 was a baby I got my finger stuck inside an olive oil bottle and couldn't get it off for love or money. I was on my own at home and trying to look after DS1 with an olive oil bottle stuck on my finger.

Not good.

Reminds me of some chain forward email thingy I received at uni about some drunken twat young man who pushed his testicles into a marmite jar for a dare and got them stuck. He then sensibly decided to smash the jar with a small hammer... And consequently had a nice trip to A&E and lost a testicle

I managed to get some superglue on my lips once. Next time the lid is stuck I'll be arsed to get the pliers.

I see that the OPs situation arose by reflexively catching the falling penguin. I once did that with a cactus in Sainsbury's.

Kungfupannda

I'm encouraged by the number of accident-prone folk among us. I can safely say that, if I had testicles, I would not put them in a Marmite jar.

Pleased to hear it! :)