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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to travel to head office in late pregnancy?

82 replies

ivanapoo · 21/10/2012 20:37

Trivial post alert...

As part of my fairly senior and reasonably paid job role I am expected to spend some time in one of my employer's offices which is almost a 2 hour drive away - maybe three or four times a month for meetings etc.

As I get closer to my EDD (currently 32 weeks) I feel increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of being in the car by myself on such a long journey down mobile reception-free roads or on the motorway in case I go into labour etc. I'm also a bit concerned about tiredness as the commute turns my 8 hour day into a 12 hour day. I'm not crazy about driving at night either but that's another matter...

I'm due to work until 38 weeks.

WIBU to say I don't want to drive there after 35 weeks? Am I being precious? AIBU to want to work until 38 weeks but not fulfil this part of my job? Would a better alternative be to say I will travel there but want to leave early to get home at a reasonable hour?

While I don't think my employer would have a major issue with it, I want to appear professional and am sensitive to colleagues thinking I'm not pulling my weight because I am pregnant. I think i would feel guilty about suggesting it TBH - but I also want to feel safe and happy.

OP posts:
JellyBellies · 21/10/2012 21:29

Hi, I was in the same situation. Ofice was Two hours away and I went down once a week.

I stopped going in after 36 weeks even though I worked upto 39. I was taking the train down not driving. In fact when I mentioned it at work they were like - please, don't come!! Grin

I don't know if it would have been any extra hassle to them if I had gone into labour on the train but they definitely did not want me to risk it! Smile

WMittens · 21/10/2012 21:31

Suggest alternatives to your employer to show you've given it serious thought from a business perspective and offer solutions. Really, with available technology there is less need for travelling, i.e. conference call/video conference meetings.

Do you claim travel expenses? If so, there are possibly savings to be made for your employer (depending on tech costs).

IceBergJam · 21/10/2012 21:32

Why would work places bother having risk assessments then ? Would you expect an obviously pregnant female firelady to be running into a burning building or police lady to be tackling a criminal? Pregnant soliders on the front line?

Employers have to make reasonable provisions and where appropriate offer alternative duties. Have a look on the goverment website. It covers it there.

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2012 21:32

compleatly acceptable if your attendance there is not essential and it is just a none needed thing tbh

TalkinPeace2 · 21/10/2012 21:32

when I was working at the end, one of the locations (on site audit) always reserved me a parking space right outside the door.
very kind of them
till I realised that they all found it funny to watch me getting in and out of my sports car!

ShellyBoobs · 21/10/2012 21:33

Why not just start maternity leave earlier if you don't feel you want to continue fulfilling your duties?

panicnotanymore · 21/10/2012 21:34

Lots of places don't have mobile coverage - anywhere hilly for starters, I'm only 45 miles from London but there is no reception near me as I'm in a valley.

That aside, just ask at work if they would be happy with an alternative. Worst case scenario they say no, and you start maternity leave earlier.

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2012 21:34

iceberg, thats a really stupid comparison.

they are jobs that are dangerious and more so to a pregnant woman, driving a car is not the same thing

KirstyJC · 21/10/2012 21:35

Yes, I expect she should have thought of it months ago....in fact, she really shouldn't have got pregnant really.

Or maybe should have resigned as soon as she realised she was?

Heaven forbid women should go around getting pregnant when they have high powered jobs, eh?

If an employee is pregnant and finding some aspects of her job is hard, her employers have a legal duty to work with her to see if there is an alternative that allows her to continue. Why is that so hard to understand? Seriously, do posters think any difficulty experienced by a pregnant woman at work should mean they instantly go on Mat Leave with no further discussions?

At my workplace the risk assessment procedure stated that if a serious risk couldn't be removed or minimised to a mutually acceptable level then that part of the job should not be carried out, and if necessary then the woman would be moved to a different role or stay away at full pay until Mat Leave started. (although that would be rare and mainly relates to exposure to xrays and cytoxic agents, and certainly didn't apply to me).

It's not precious - it's the law. And maybe OP didn't realise months ago that she would feel like this, you don't know what you're letting yourself in for with your first, nor do you know what health complications you might come across in pregnancy.

IceBergJam · 21/10/2012 21:38

'Health and safety for pregnant employees

When the employee tells their employer they?re pregnant, they should be prevented from exposure to any risks to protect them and the baby.Risks could be caused by:heavy lifting or carrying standing or sitting for long periods without adequate breaks exposure to toxic substanceslong working hoursIf the employer can?t remove any risks (eg by offering suitable alternative work) they should?suspend the employee on full pay'.

thekidsrule · 21/10/2012 21:39

iceBergJam Sun 21-Oct-12 21:32:08
Why would work places bother having risk assessments then ? Would you expect an obviously pregnant female firelady to be running into a burning building or police lady to be tackling a criminal? Pregnant soliders on the front line?

im assuming that was for me

a utter ridiculous comparrason,i did not say their should not be work risk assesments,lets not be dramatic about it

thekidsrule · 21/10/2012 21:39

apologies buggered the bold

thekidsrule · 21/10/2012 21:42

would a advanced pregnant fire-fighter be allowed into a burning building then,id be very suprised at that one

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2012 21:42

exactly the rule that would cover those in dangerious high risk jobs.

IceBergJam · 21/10/2012 21:45

It wasnt a comparison , it was illistrating a point. Employers have to perform risk assessments , and this could potentially be a risk. If something you do at work impacts on you physically , such as drving long hours in this instance, then they are required to concider ways around it. I used those examples for those who may not quiet grasp a more subtle point.

ChasedByBees · 21/10/2012 21:54

YY KirstyJC, the answers here are massively depressing and seem to have no concept of the law.

This is an infrequent travel to HQ, not necessarily a fundamental part of the role. There's absolutely no way someone should go on mat leave for this reason when it can be solved quite straightforwardly. There are alternatives - teleconference or videoconference or even just get someone to send you the minutes.

I refused to go on international trips after 30 weeks and got that stated in my risk assessment. It was fine.

Tiredmumno1 · 21/10/2012 21:55

OP I don't think yabu. You come across as a sincere and thoughtful person towards others tbh, which is lovely Smile

I think you should have a word to your bosses and see if there could be an alternative or whether you are needed to attend the other office at all at the moment, if they require you to still attend, then stick with your other option of asking to leave a little earlier, if that's an idea you don't mind trying. You will never know if you don't ask. Good luck.

IceBergJam · 21/10/2012 21:57

Yes, it does show a lack of knowledge, and I also find the whole 'I was super women and did this and that' depressing. Shows lack of understanding of others needs and requirments.

squeakytoy · 21/10/2012 21:57

I would ask the company to provide someone to collect you at the station after you travel up there on the train, and drop you back there on the return.

GoblinGold · 21/10/2012 22:00

OP - I did exactly as you've described. It's an appropriate response in the circumstances, IMHO.

apostropheuse · 21/10/2012 22:02

If you're not able to fulfil the role you're paid to do then you should go on maternity leave.

IneedAsockamnesty · 21/10/2012 22:06

hang fire a bit if the visit to the other office is not a essential part of her dutys then she shouldnt have to.

its only if it is essential that she should.

GurlwiththeFrothyCurl · 21/10/2012 22:07

I certainly couldn't drive at all in the last few weeks of my pregnancies. I have short legs and I simply couldn't reach the pedals when the bump got really big!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 21/10/2012 22:07

No she should NOT go on maternity leave just because of travel to an Infrequent meeting, she should ask for a risk assessment and have this discussed and a mutually sensible compromise reached.

This is the LAW, for her employer to do this.

Am quite embarrassed at some of the responses on this thread. OP you are well within your rights to raise this as an issue for you and if you have some possible solutions to offer, then that's helpful too. Good luck.

Tiredmumno1 · 21/10/2012 22:09

I don't understand why some of you are saying go on maternity leave if you can't fulfil your role. The OP is talking about missing a few meetings, she is not saying she is going to slouch around on her arse for the next six weeks doing nothing Hmm