To be worried about what a friend is getting into?

[plaingirly]

She was telling me all about Vision Forum and how she wants to order all sorts of books and dvds from them. She has been getting into religion pretty heavily through blogs and internet forums.

I worry about her as she tends to jump head first into everything.

She has started only wearing skirts and talking about gender roles.

I have been looking into Vision Forum and there is some icky stuff written about them. She is now into the Stay At Home Daughter thing, is growing her hair and leaving little religious leaflets everywhere at work.

I don't know whether to just let her be.

What she is doing isn't popular at work and I don't want her to mess stuff up for herself as this might just be a phase. Currently she sees me as on her side as I am interested in the Amish!

Whether she can be a stay at home daughter depends on her parents then. If they have any sense they'll encourage her to move out.

I don't really know her parents but they don't seem to mind her being at home. She is an only child so there is plenty of space.

Even more worried about her after reading that link and the free jinger thing!

She really is trying to escape big time isn't she with looking at being a nun and Amish, both very committed and absorbing.

What is it do you think she's trying to find/avoid, and what do you think would resolve it for her?

Going to sound like a proper cowbag but I think she wants rescuing and that she wants someone else to take responsibility for her decisions. That is the link between these ideas that she has played around with that I can see.

She has texted me to say that her Vision Forum delivery arrived yesterday and that she is going to apply it all to her life because she is so far behind where she should be.

It makes me sad that she could end up forcing herself into this narrow view of what a proper woman should be.

Being taken care of and knowing for sure where you fit into the world are important things.

If she's never struck out on her own at 25, it must be a bit scary to take on all the things people would normally learn when they're at university etc.

Most people have views on what they should be as a person, expectations and standards, but hers seemed a bit skewed if she wasn't brought up in that situation.

Always keep the lines of communication open with her, whatever you think about what she says, just nod and smile then try to change the subject It's only going to be a matter of time before she realises it's not for her, then you can start worrying about the next hair brained organisation she's read about on the net (not that I think being Catholic or Amish is hair brained)

She has always lived with her parents - no uni.

I am biting my tongue a lot! I feel like if I say something negative she will just close up. She wants me to go round and watch one of her new DVDs tomorrow. Who knows maybe I will be converted!!

Just sat through Return of the Daughters on DVD - I can see how people get caught up in it.

If anything I am more worried as she had a huge box of stuff from them. She must have spent hundreds of pounds. She is throwing out all of her "worldly" stuff too. Her mum stopped me and asked me what was going on!