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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny taking DS to children's play group

37 replies

CruCru · 19/10/2012 19:55

Today my nanny took DS to a playgroup run by our local council. They let them stay (and he had a really good time) but said that really it is only for parents. AIBU to think this is a bit weird? It means that children whose parents work miss out on going to play groups.

OP posts:
LadyMaryCreepyCrawley · 19/10/2012 19:57

Surely a children's playgroup is for the children first, and then the parents/carers? It's discriminatory to grandparents who care for their grandchildren, as well as foster parents etc. I'd complain.

WiseKneeHair · 19/10/2012 19:59
Confused Our nanny takes DS3 to various groups and has never had a problem. I know she takes him to one which is specifically for childminders/nannys, but the others are for all comers. It seems bizarre for the group to have that rule. As well as CMs and nannys being excluded, would it also include GPs who are looking after their GC?
Dozer · 19/10/2012 20:02

Councils are cash-strapped, suspect they regard the baby/toddler groups they pay for as primarily for families "in need of support"; and they think that families that can afford nannies are unlikely to be in that group, and if lots of nannies/childminders regularly turn up it might deter the people the service is targeted at.

UniS · 19/10/2012 20:02

Is it an open access "play group" or is its "parenting support play group" if the later, then no a paid child-carer should not be going.

used2bthin · 19/10/2012 20:03

was it a childrens centre? I am guessing so if run by the council. Some groups at childrens centres have a focus and are aimed at families who need support but if it was just a normal stay and play then I can't understand why they said that-was it in a don't come again way or was it just to tell her what they are about?

Dozer · 19/10/2012 20:04

Have even heard of rules in council-run children's activities based on parents' postcode, or by invitation/referral by health visitor/GP/social services only.

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:05

I think it's one called "Chatterpillers" where children develop their speech and communication, presumably by singing and playing with other children.

I don't know whether that would be considered a parenting support group.

OP posts:
used2bthin · 19/10/2012 20:06

sorry x post. I used to work in a childrens centre and we wouldn't have turned away nannies, in fact we worked a lot with childminders. As for the weekend thing some childrens centres do run weekend sessions for families ad often dad's sessions but it depends what targets they have and of course funding.

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:06

I think it was in a don't come again way.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 19/10/2012 20:07

One of the groups I have been to with both DC was very much about supporting mums. I was run by Surestart/HV. It started as a PND support group so the HV is not that keen even on dads being there. Maybe it's something like that.

used2bthin · 19/10/2012 20:07

That does sound like a group aimed at support, some speech and lang ones are referral only so that could explain it.

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:09

It isn't the end of the world, there are lots of things run by our council thankfully. It just seems weird because other children's centres in the same area are desperate to be used and want as many people as possible to sign in (presumably because their funding relies on them being used).

OP posts:
IvorHughJackolantern · 19/10/2012 20:11

They have the same 'rule' at my local Children's Centre - but they have a group sepcifically for nanny's and childminder's once a week that mums and dad's can't go to

Confused

I think it's weird, personally.

halcyondays · 19/10/2012 20:12

It might be something to provide support for parents. Does the council not run any parent and toddler groups that are open to anyone who's looking after young children?

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:14

I do think it's weird to segregate parents and carers. Apart from anything else, I'll quite often see DSs friends with different people on different days, depending on whether it's a workday for the Mum. So it's important to stay friendly with both.

OP posts:
BeehavingBaby · 19/10/2012 20:14

Our ones with similar names are specifically for children and parents/ main carers struggling with communication TBH.

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:16

They do run sessions for childminders - but they also suggest that parents looking for childcare go along to those sessions to meet childminders.

OP posts:
used2bthin · 19/10/2012 20:17

yes it depends, I have worked at two, at one they had to turn people away at the door when it was too busy so the manager probably would have preferred to turn away a nanny over a parent who potentially could need support, and the other we were newer and less stretched and we did have nannies at our sessions. There may be other options she could go to though and the childrens centre would have details of the activities in the area.

Viviennemary · 19/10/2012 20:20

That seems very odd indeed. What about if children are looked after by grandparents.

teacherlikesapples · 19/10/2012 20:25

It would really depend on the type of drop in it was. Some (especially those funded by councils) are supposed to be promoting parenting skills, informing parents about how children learn, and providing parents with information and access to other services & resources. It would be a bit of a waste for nannies to attend these, as they are not the target group. There should be other playgroups which are either open to everyone or specifically for nannies & childminders.

Iggly · 19/10/2012 20:30

I would email and complain.

Original poster
CruCru · 19/10/2012 20:34

It is a shame as she really liked the group of people attending and I think it created an awkward moment for her when the people running it said it wasn't for her.

OP posts:
forevergreek · 19/10/2012 20:41

As a nanny, there are about 8 playgroups near us. none of them welcome nannies :( so alas we don't go. it does seem a shame sometimes

lunar1 · 19/10/2012 20:41

To give a different perspective on this, my local childrens centre run groups for different people. dads group, young parents group, grandparents group, child minders group, several groups for different ethnicity's, and various groups for children with additional needs.

They run one group that is open to everyone lasting 1.5 hrs per week. Due to space they can only let 12 children in. I got there this week 30 minutes early, went to sign in and was told it was full. There were several grandparents and childminders in the waiting room and only 2 mums.

I would give anything for a mums group to be run. Its not too bad now i have been in the area longer but when i first moved here DS1 was just 7 months. I didnt know anyone, and it was almost impossible to get in to the only group available for me. I feel sorry for mums in similar situations to me as it was just so lonely when i moved here.

maddening · 19/10/2012 20:47

All the groups round here (only as I often look for toddler groups) state that they are for parents, carers and childminders

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