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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have sent this to a Facebook 'friend'

23 replies

Waitforit · 18/10/2012 17:57

Someone I know from my past decided to like a post basically blaming refugees for the fact that a particular individual couldn't afford a new boiler. I was pretty fucked off to say the least (particularly as he seemed a nice unassuming guy). Anyway instead of just fuming I decided to send the following message:

I was extremely disappointed to see the post you had 'liked', which was a very thinly veiled racist attack on refugees (in particular Somalis). My understanding is that you are a Christian, and that the Christian faith preaches love and compassion towards others, no matter their creed or colour. I simply cannot see this in the views that you chose to express in public. The blaming of immigrants for economic problems is only to be encouraged by those who have actually caused it as it means that we will not question their continued exploitation of the majority in this country through tax avoidance etc. I live in an area where there are both £2 million council homes (most of which are being sold to fund other local authority projects) and large numbers of Somali refugees. The council houses of such worth are due to the having being purchased by local authorities at a time when they are undesirable and cheap. The regeneration of many areas in London and increasing salaries among the most wealthy has led to them being worth their current value, it is certainly due to no fault of those who have had to flee their own countries due to fear of death, rape and violence. I would like to remind you that Somalis have fled to this country due to many years of civil war and a complete lack of any sort of nation state. They come here as we offer a safe and stable home in which to live and bring up their families, something that every person on this earth should be entitled to.

I hope you can understand why I feel obliged to defriend you, and while you may well think me mad for sending you such a message, I hope it makes you pause to think for a moment about the views that you express.

Just hoping it does actually make him think instead of writing me off as some shrieking harpie

OP posts:
ZombTEE · 18/10/2012 18:08

Waste of time. He won't read it.

Waitforit · 18/10/2012 18:09

Probably right - but it felt cathartic!

OP posts:
Mintyy · 18/10/2012 18:09

Cut it down by 80% and use less formal language (you sound like you are writing to a business) and then send.

Waitforit · 18/10/2012 18:12

Language choice was deliberate so that it was completely unemotional and rational, plus I don't really know the guy anymore!

OP posts:
Mintyy · 18/10/2012 18:13

Well if you don't really know him then just defriend him! Bob's your uncle.

Waitforit · 18/10/2012 18:14

Done, don't worry! Just wanted to say my piece before I did so.

OP posts:
catwomanlikesmeatballs · 18/10/2012 18:30

He'll think your a weirdo, I've had strange lectures from anti abortionists for liking pro choice stuff, from one person accusing me of terrorism for anti war etc... The thing is that nobody cares what you think, they're entitled to like what they like and others can agree or disagree. There is a huge difference between polite disagreement and a lecture expressing your horror that they dare like something you don't, the latter is to be ignored.

AreAllMenTheSame2 · 19/10/2012 02:23

I don't think their was any need for the big speech - you should of just defriended him.

GhostofMammaTJ · 19/10/2012 03:04

Well, you have done the right thing. He may read it, he may be made to think. He may not, but you have tried.

Claireabella1 · 19/10/2012 07:09

Gosh, how sanctimonious can you get? You can't force people to share your views. YABU and you sound like a bit of a nutbag.

BeckAndCall · 19/10/2012 07:15

I'm with you, Wait.

It's all too easy to casually press a button to 'like' something which then gains momentum as the 'common view' without stopping to think it through.

Londonista1975 · 19/10/2012 07:15

Good for you for standing up for what you believe in. You may give the moron something to chew on. Think I know what area of London you mean. Some people are so ignorant it's breathtaking.

CreamOfTomatoSoup · 19/10/2012 07:26

I agree with Londonista, you're entitled to express your view and if he doesn't like it he can leave facebook.

GhostShip · 19/10/2012 08:09

And you were so proud of yourself you wanted to share with us and get a pat on the back?

creamoftomato doesn't that apply to him though too? He can say what he wants, if the OP doesn't like it she can leave Facebook.

I don't agree with what he said btw. I just can't be arsed with people with bee's in their bonnets after they've 'challenged' or 'told someone off'

MrsWolowitz · 19/10/2012 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UndeadPixie · 19/10/2012 08:18

Yabu. whilst I agree with you, if somebody sent me a lecture looking like it had been written by one of my old teachers I'd laugh in their face the next time I saw them. A "you ignorant fuckmuppet" and deletion would suffice.

VolumeOfACone · 19/10/2012 09:28

I'm getting a bit sick of all the things some of my acquaintances are liking that I find offensive. It's depressing.

Another acquaintance put the following on her Facebook:

"Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one, not everyone wants to hear all about them."

She's so right.

VolumeOfACone · 19/10/2012 09:33

Oh, I meant to add, I think OP, that it was fair enough for you to send what you did. It wasn't out of the blue, it was a response.

Nicknamenotavailableeither · 19/10/2012 09:38

YANBU IMO. He sounds like a twunt.

roughtyping · 19/10/2012 09:40

YANBU at all

CuriousMama · 19/10/2012 09:45

I think one thing FB has done is given people an insight into the real thoughts of friends they know. Even close friends have shocked me. Not so much the liking things as sometimes that's just noting they've seen it, not necessarily liking it. Sometimes it can be passive aggressive too.

I'm rather guarded tbh compared to a lot of people on there, yet am rather open in RL.

eBook · 19/10/2012 09:49

Far too long and preachy.

No need to bring his religion into it either.

picnicbasketcase · 19/10/2012 09:54

I agree with you but I couldn't be arsed to read the whole thing so some ignorant tosser on FB isn't likely to.

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