To act like a bit of a twat on the motorway

[ViviPru]

When there's a long 'queue' of cars moving along in the outside lane patiently waiting in line to pass whoever is clogging up the middle lane miles up ahead. Then some selfish cretin decides they are too important/late to observe the highway code and speeds past inside on the middle lane and tries to cut back in further up. That is my biggest peeve.

So AIBU to wait until I draw level with the cretin who is feverishly looking for their opportunity to pull back out into the outside lane, and ostensibly block them in by maintaining the same speed as the person in front of them in the middle lane?

I admit to a fission of power and satisfaction watching as the car in front of me gradually pulls away, leaving a tempting tiny slice of space in front, but not enough for the cretin to pull out. I usually wait until the vehicle behind me is suitably positioned to pass the cretin without letting them out either, then I floor it. Haha. I'm a shit and I know it. The cretins drive me to it though.

Actually akiss I think if anything occurred you would both have been driving without due care and attention.

Since getting my tiny 1L car I have been getting very angry at middle lane hoggers- to be clear I'm talking about those sat in the middle lane when the inside lane is clear for miles.

I struggle to reach the speed that I need to be able to slot into the outside lane without causing others to break. I'm so pissed off with these people who fail to understand the basic concept of how our motorways work and effectively close off 2 lanes of the road.

YABU, that should have read!

viv you are a sensible woman,you know that the motorway (or any road actually) is NOT the place for twattery don't you!?

Have a word with yourself! Karma will get these fools in other ways!

In reality, it doesn't take a great deal of concentration to maintain a safe speed for a couple of extra seconds before accelerating just enough to leave the selfish person behind and stuck in the middle lane.

O Witchety witchety I know I'm trying to quit. For the most part, I am honestly and truly the epitome of thoughtful, observant, safe motorist.

In facet, geegee, to be fair, I'm not not actually overtaking I'm simply maintaining a safe stopping distance from the person ahead of me who is also overtaking. I just happen to pay more attention to that safe stopping distance when it inadvertently impedes a selfish under-taker from cutting back out.

According to the Highway Code, what should happen is that the traffic uses both lanes until the obstruction, where the traffic in the obstructed lane 'merges in turn' with the traffic in the unobstructed lane.

The reason everybody gets into the outside lane miles before they need to is that there is always some idiot with limited understanding of the Highway Code in the outside lane, who refuses to let in the merging traffic from the middle lane.

Everyone would get past the obstruction far more quickly if both lanes are used for as long as they are available.

If any mumsnetters use the M8 between Edinburgh and Glasgow, you will know that that motorway is effectively a single lane road at 50-55mph - because its only 2 lanes and nearly everyone drives in the overtaking lane the whole way, never giving up their place, even though the inside lane contains only the occasional lorry spaced 3 miles apart...

Its maddening! You actually get tooted at if you overtake normally and have to move into the flow of traffic in the overaking lane.

Theoretically, yes, cackle. It's true, people move out far too early, and people in the outside lane are too reluctant to let people move right to overtake. I do not do that. You'll have to take my word for it but I honestly do allow people to move out in front of me when they have been driving along in a sensible manner in the middle lane. It's just those who you see racing up from behind and cut inside with the sole intention of getting ahead that fall foul.

I do this occasionally. I call it 'active traffic management'

It makes it worse for people down the line though, so I try to resist when I can!

I agree, the situation you describe is very annoying - I merely yearn for a better world where everyone obeys the rules (and where the sun shines, puppies gamble around and we all link arms in MN solidarity ).

They don't, so twattery abounds.

Mach I suspect you and I may have been motorway buddies at some point. I love a motorway buddy, I do. Something about that mutual respectful convoy feeling.... I always seem to lose them at junction 19 though

@ the mental image of PruPuppy gambling

I will think twice before I cockblock again, though, thanks to all you sensible susans.

hmm I think you should concentrate on your own driving...

CacklePuppy would still be scampering up the inside of PruPuppy though, and trying to barge into his lane. Probably trying to chew his ears for good measure too.

Can I add how frustrating it is when the car behind you pulls out waaay before you are going to come across a lorry in your lane and then does the slowest overtake in history blocking you in so you can't pull out? Makes me want to weep every time.

ViviPru do you make road-trains too?

So if someone is annoyingly trying to undertake, you try and pull along the cars behind so they can't get too far ahead, box the undertaker in against something in their lane, then ever so slightly lift off to cause the traffic behind to bunch a bit so they have to sit there whilst dozens of cars go past?

It's deeply satisfying when you get it right I'd imagine

Cackle I used to live in Germany and drive on the autobahn a lot. That driving nirvana does exist...

They run adverts on German tv advising on how to do things like merge in turn, overtake correctly, etc.. In this country, motorway driving isn't even taught for the driving test!

Even in Holland, you can drive along at 77 mph or so without braking constantly because of the bizarre/aggressive driving.

England is better for lane discipline and sensible driving than Scotland.

Scotland, the M8 in particular, is the pits.

YABU - I agree with cackle. Follow the highway code, and be responsible for your own driving, nit the driving of others. Use both lanes and merge at the end. If you wait in a queue half a mile long when the nearside lane is empty don't be annoyed at those who follow the highway code correctly and use both lanes.

geegee888 I love the M8 for the fact that it has signs reminding you that you need fuel in the car. :)

I imagine it's hard to include motorway driving practical into the UK driving test as there are so few quiet motorways to allow learners to practice on. It's a shame though.

Moving away from the whole cockblocking/road-train tomfoolery, and into the realms of General Motorway Gripes, at quieter times, I tend to just use the cruise control. So I KNOW I'm driving at a consistent speed. And I know that you yes YOU silly woman who has just speeded up to overtake me has now pulled in front and slowed down and forced me into a silly jostling-for-position dance. I'm not racing you. I'm maintaining 86mph 70mph. You are trying to race me. Gah.

As tempting as it is, do not respond. Far better to be seen as someone who is in control, rather than someone who is out of control. If the gentleman who's driving like a cock, wants to get to Heaven early, then that's between him and God. It really is none of your concern. You are not his wife, you are not his mother, you are not the long arm of the law.

Get a grip, please.

I do the exact same thing OP!!

And if I'm feeling really evil I don't let cars pull out of side roads in front of me if they are just trying to nudge their way out slowly. Look at me and wait for me to say it's ok to go infront and I'll gladly let you in. But think it's your right of way and I'll get right up the arse of the car in front so you can't get out.

Ooooo what a bitch!!! Mwa-a-a-a!!!

You shouldn't even be queueing in the outside lane, waiting for someone to pull in - why are you getting in a queue in the outside lane?