My dad had lost the swallow reflex due to a series of mini strokes leading to dementia. Thankfully he always knew who we were, it was his physical faculties which were failing - a doctor described it as 'lights getting turned off one by one in a house'. Very true.
He was in a nursing home, and constantly being sent to A&E with chest infections due to the swallow problems. You really can kill people with kindness - the instinct was to give him a drink but it really was making him extremely poorly.
One time he was admitted, and ended up in a renal ward due to lack of beds in any of the more 'appropriate' wards in the hospital. The consultant said there was nothing that could be done for him, he wasn't tolerant of food/drink by mouth, a nasal feeder wasn't a long term solution, and in the consultants opinion, he was in no fit state to undergo the procedure to fit a peg tube to feed him though a tube to his stomach.
I'm one of four of his children. We were all in that hospital, talking to him, laughing, messing about, like we always had throughout our family life. If it was touch and go for him overnight, at least 2 of us stayed with him. We loved him, he was our dad.
The nurses on that ward spoke out. They thought the consultant was wrong, and they got us family in to tell us. They thought my dad had a quality of life, he had us, and so it was worth a punt with the peg tube. We had just taken the consultants word for it so were astonished. They fitted the peg tube, it went well. On discharge they worked together with us to find him a home that could manage the peg tube, and get him on the NHS care package that actually facilited a move to a hospice.
He was there for a few months. Those angels on earth really did absolutely everything to ensure that he, and we his family, enjoyed his last time as best we could. But when he got really poorly again he wasn't thrown back into hospital, but allowed to slip peacefully away.
The nurses were allowed to disagree with the consultant. They knew the ultimate outcome, it wasn't good, but they were allowed to give their opinion to buy us a few more months with our dad, in a place where they knew, when the time was right, he would be allowed to slip away with dignity.
The point I'm trying to make here is that in this situation, there are a team of people involved in decisions, all keeping a check on each other.
Bless them for allowing us to be with our dad just a few months more, but in a place that would allow him to pass in peace. The system works just fine. I am for it.