ExH has a contact order which is approx 2 years old. It does seem to work well and DS is used to the routine, but it has no flexibility and exH does not negotiate.
DS loves football. He has been in a few teams since he was 4 years old, but since the contact order he has not been able to be part of a team as they all play on Saturdays and most train on Wednesdays. The contact order is alternate Friday nights over to Saturday tea time and every Wednesday for 3 hours after school. ExH will not take DS to football as he lives 25 miles away. I managed to find a local team that trains on Thursday evening but plays on Saturdays - DS was happy just to train and the coach accepted that he would not be available on alternate Saturdays. DS has been loving training on Thursdays and has made some new friends. Unfortunately, the coach could only find an indoor venue for over the winter on Wednesday evening (overlapping exH's contact time by 30 minutes). I have sent a message to exH explaining the change and offering to extend his contact time by half an hour so that he can take DS to football (I have also given him the option of dropping DS off at training and I can collect him). So far - there has been no reply (the message has been read as his phone tells people when a message has been read) - do I need to start preparing DS for the possibility of having to leave another team?
Is it normal that children with divorced parents have to give up their activities?
DS wanted to stay after school on Wednesdays to do music classes but didn't even ask about it as he knew he had to go to his Dad's - I feel like DS has to live his life around the court order and its making us both sad. Earlier this year, DS told his dad that he wanted to go to his best friend's birthday party which was on a Saturday - his dad told him he could go so DS rsvp'd yes but his dad took him out instead. DS was distraught when he realised he'd missed the party.
I feel strongly that DS needs regular contact with exH, but surely this should be doing things that DS wants to do, at the moment it seems like DS has to fit in with whatever exH needs to do at his house.
Thankyou for reading - sorry its long!