Friend's 8 year old son forgets to bring home his school shoes and coat after cubs and somehow this is my fault?

[hmc]

Three of us - each have one 8 year old boy attending cubs. We take it in turns on a 1 in 3 rota to collect the 3 boys direct from school on cubs night, feed them and later on drop them to cubs. They are new to cubs so this is a new arrangement.

So yesterday it is my turn - on collecting from school, the two other boys have their book bag, a second bag with a change of clothes for cubs, their coat and their school packed lunch bag; you get the picture, quite a bit of paraphernalia.

At 6.20 I drop them at cubs. Put sundry bags and items (3 coats, torches, wellies [we have to traverse a muddy field to get to the scout hut] school bags etc) under the bench in the hall where custom and practice is that everyone's 'stuff' is left, and I hung the coats on the coat pegs. There was a pair of shoes - loose, which I put on top of the bags since i wasnt sure which boy they belonged to or indeed which boy owned which bag. I told all 3 boys (including my son) where their stuff was, physically pointing it out to them and impressing upon them not to forget it. They were due to be picked up by their dads on their way home from work - not by me.

So today I get a message from one of my friends - do I have O's school coat and shoes? I replied 'no' and explained where I left them. She pronounces herself miffed about his bloody new school shoes, and doesn't 'understand why they weren't in his bag'! I get the distinct impression I am in the dog house.....

So did the boy keep the muddy wellies on throughout the cub meeting, rather than changing out of them into his shoes?

It's the mum's fault. It's always the mum's fault when carefully planned logistics go wrong because someone wasn't listening at the right time.

No Quad, he changed from wellies to trainers - it was his school shoes he went home without (they really did have a lot of 'stuff' due to the coming to mine directly from school scenario)

I can well believe it hmc. I dropped a child at swimming today as well as my own two and one had school bag, book bag, dance stuff and two had school bag + book bag + recorder bag + school swimming bag, plus there were too after school swim bags in my car boot for them and I had a hand bag!

Yes defo always the mum's fault. You should have left a note with the cub leader to remind her to hold the dad's hand and take him to the coat pegs to get the coat down too.

You should cut the mum some slack, she must be furious. She probably just wants someone to agree with her and say "You must be so annoyed, didn't your DH know to check for shoes, those new shoes are so expensive" etc etc whereas her DH and DS are just trying to cover their tracks I bet.

DH is pretty good at school run now but I thought of getting Water Bottle, Black Shoes, Trainers, PE kit, Reading Book, School Coat, Gloves, Hat, Jumper, Lunchbox tattooed on his forearm at one point. Or possibly the DCs...

But of course YANBU if you feel you are being got at!

No it isn't your fault.

DD2 is forever leaving stuff places, I do not expect parents kind enough to offer her a lift to know what the dumpling has forgotten this time.

If the shoes are named (which they should be) they will return.

Why isn't there a path to the hut? Do the dads all have to take wellies with them for the picking up?

TBH looking after two extra children and all their stuff wouldn't be worth the hassle, I would just take DS every week by myself. Much easier.

If he's left them at school then it is partially your fault for not checking they had everything before they left.
If he's left them at cubs, then it is partially the dad's fault for not checking he had everything before they left.
It all depends on the eventual location of the shoes and coat. I hope they are named.
Yes, the boy should shoulder some of the blame too, but he's 8 and still needs adult prompts.

Astelia - there is no path because we is in the country! Yep dads have to take wellies to or be prepared to get muddy shoes. There is also no street lighting and it's very dark so torches must be taken (it's a faff!)

It's not your fault, of course it isn't.But you can understand she's just pissed off about him not having them and firing off a text without thinking. Just reply 'yes my DS is a total scatternrains too' or some such.

Bloody hell ,it sounds like a lot of hard work just to get to Cubs.

Have you seen Other Mum this morning?

It's not your fault at all but a lack of communication between Dad and Son at pick up.

How can it be your fault? You left all their stuff in a safe place in good faith. She's being unreasonable.

Now had you picked up these kids and left their stuff behind - I'd say that was your responsibility, if they are 8.

Last year I picked up some children from school on the last day of term. One (5yo) forgot her coat - I didn't know she had had one with her - but I should have checked.

I actually bought her a new coat as having rung the school, they couldn't find it, and though it later turned up I couldn't have her without a coat all summer. (just a rain mac but still).

But you did nothing wrong.