to think it can't possibly be that hard

[caeleth]

To talk to your child??

DH seems unable to comprehend how it works. He can drone on and on to me about things i care nothing about (mostly cars), but DS gets a "hi ds......hi ds..........

Well depends on his family background. My DH was seen and not heard alot of the time so it took a bit of getting used to me chit chatting to kids and getting used to the busy chatty dinner table. He will get better as get older but sometimes yes it really is that hard to talk to kids...do jigsaws...colour. Wehave so cracked now youngest is 9 oldest 14 and they can talk about maths and fishing and football. Just lead by example if he a good dad otherwise this will come.

I wasn't very good at the chat when MY dds were that young of course id cuddle them and whatnot but the drivel DH spoke used to make me roll my eyes

I understand OP as DH is the same but for him I honestly think it is hard!
He's not chatty anyway whereas I could talk the hindleg off a donkey where does that expression come from?!

Anyway, despite my best efforts at getting DH to chat to DS and especially to sing to him (DS loves singing and it calms him down a treat but DH just can't do it - even his mum said she'd never heard him sing), DS is 13 months now and DH still isn't much better.

However, now DS has started babbling, DH will happily sit there babbling back! Almost no real words, just giberish from both of them

I think, hard as it is, you just have to let them get on and develop their own relationship in their own way.

I think, hard as it is, you just have to let them get on and develop their own relationship in their own way

this

"DH seems unable to comprehend how it works. He can drone on and on to me about things i care nothing about "

That attitude is likely to be the major problem in your 'relationship'

Perhaps there are some baby groups you could all go to locally? DH will then be able to go when it is just the two of them and see how other folk interact/learn actions to songs, plus you will at least know he has other people about if he needs advice?

Keeping up chatter to someone or something that doesn't talk back (or even make encouraging hmm sounds) is pretty hard actually, so YAB a bit U.

But if you don't hink a baby needs 'entertaining', what do your babies do? DS gets bored after a few mins of nothing happening and is rather vocal about it. So just leave him to cry? I can't stomach more than a minute or two, and neither can DH, so he just brings him back tome so I can 'entertain' him instead... that's going to be impossible when i'm at work :(

Explain what you mean by entertaining - do you just mean interaction?

Oops, i missed the second page.
Nothing much in the way of baby groups here, only singing once a week. There's no way DH will do that though and i can't say i blsme him. Don't think i'd dare go to a group full of dads singing ;)

Explain it to him, then get him to try it out but not in front of you. Suggest he walk the baby round the house, naming each room, showing him mirrors, toys, whatever, and see how he gets on. But dont watch him you'll make him self conscious.

My DD is 14 weeks and requires entertaining now - although admittedly it can just be watching me wash up! She will certainly let it be known if she is bored though... I usually have her in the room with me in the pram/bouncy chair and just tell her what I'm doing, with the odd cuddle and nibble thrown in.
DH is pretty good at chatting with her - it doesn't have to be proper conversation for them to be happy :)

Can your DH just walk round the house talking about things he sees? That's how we started...."oh look, here's the bookcase...what shall I read next?...where's mummy gone? Let's go and see what she's up to..."
Stuff like that is easy-peasy and usually involves cuddles and carries so the little one should be well impressed!

Snap joe!

Yes, i guess interaction is a much better word. In no way does he need to put up a show for him, but babies need some form of stimulation, don't they?

Will try a tour of the apartment, might just get him started:-)

I do usually go into another room and leave them to it - so he'll feel less self conscious and so i can get something done (or play on computer) while i have time.

It'll be different when its just the two of them. My dh is very selfconcious when I am around but great fun when it's just them (or so it seems).
I decided not to push it as dh was feeling that I thought he wasn't a good dad, and just let them sort themselves out. It worked great, hard at the beginning but as ds grows and is more and more interactive they really enjoy their time together.
Although the tv was never used at ours, that would worry me a little. Good luck!

Yy to dh reading in Norwegian - if he gets in the groove of it you might have a bilingual baby! Maybe get him interested by finding books he read as a child?

And one of those floor mats with things hanging down and a mirror are fab for that age.

Hmm, maybe dh's mum has some still... have already asked my parents to dig up ours:-) they're bloody expensive (£15-25) which is why we mostly have english ones atm. Hoping for bilingual yes! I'm speaking english and dh norwegian (we're in norway)

Have a floor gym thingy which will keep him occupied for a few mins - longer if we sit and chat at the same time.

Have you got a nursery rhyme CD? If you can find one you can stand and won't drive you crazy it can be nice to have it on for a bit if you feel you have run out of things to say - if nothing else he can sing to baby while doing the laundry or just roll about on the floor signing to get him giggling? I think he will get into it when you are away (not much choice, let's face it!) and you will walk in him with a sock hanging off each ear and kitchen roll tube taped to his nose, pretending to be an elephant

Ooh, that's a good idea, will see if i can find a non-torturous(sp?) nice one!

And lol, i hope so

I found it hard talking to a 4 month old too. I preferred just reading aloud books that I was reading rather than having a one way conversation.

We're got the dual language issue too. Me English, DH French and we live in France (but DS is looked after by my parents so lots of exposure to English so far).

I keep trying to get DH to sing little French songs (i.e. equivalent to round and round the garden, or this little piggy, or row row row your boat) or nursery rhymes but he says he doesn't know any . So last time we saw MIL I asked her hoping she could teach DH us. She didn't know any either!!! (which explains why DH doesn't!)

So now I have the perfect Christmas present for DH

Hahaha, he's going to love that! But yes, it really does seem i'll have to go cind some books and rhymes in norwegian for him. He'll see the point of it when he's got DS all day even if he'll be a bit miffed at the price now :-)

I talked very naturally to my dc from the newborn stage. So much that I found myslef once walking round the shops talking happily... when I remembered the baby was at home

But I've found that lots of people, male and female, so find it difficult. They feel self conscious and embarrassed. I think if you go on about it, he will become more aware that you're listening and find it harder to do.

I found it easiest to talk to them while I got on with stuff with them in the sling. I'd tall them all about what I was doing, a sort of running commentary of stuff.

Talking to them doesn't always make good talkers of them either.