To not want to take a sixteen-month old to a posh sit down meal event?

[Christmas78]

We've been invited to a christening this weekend and I've just found out it involves a sit down meal at a very posh place. The hosts have said that we have to say for definite if we'll stay for the meal which I understand since they have to pay per head.

That said, my sixteen month DS is prone to tantrums, will be the only child (other than babies) there and will be missing his nap as the service starts late morning and meal isn't until 2/3. So there's a good chance he'll have a melt down and go ape long before the meal.

If it was you, would you accept, knowing the hosts would be really annoyed if you took him home early so there was no option to play it by ear? Or just turn down the meal bit and stay for a glass of champagne which is our other alternative?

Really uncertain of what to do and feeling like I'm being really lame to be worried about it. Very curious as to what other people with toddler experience would do! x

Mainly I used to take my older 2 out as toddlers quite a bit, and take my 17 month old to cafes, but find posh sit downs much too much stress - I did take my (then) 3 year old and 12 month old to a Christening like the OP describes, the baby being Christened was 11 months but still very much in baby mode (did sleep through the meal in a lie-down pram, wasn't even crawling) whereas my then 12 month old (now 5) was a proper toddler and very hard work, though he sat in a high chair to eat I had to take him out between courses (in the rain) and missed most of my own meal. It depends on the toddler but formal (usually long drawn out) restaurant meals and most toddlers aren't a great mix IMO, unless you do have one who will sleep through it!

can anyone have your little one after the service so you can enjoy the meal kid free?

I'm all for taking small people to all sorts of different events so they get used to socialising from an early age.

But no way on earth would I even consider taking a sixteen month old to a smart sit down meal.

Crikey, the thought of it...

Sorry. Yes, both 16 month old and almost 3 year old will nap anywhere at nap time.

We had a wedding recently with roughly same times as you and like i said youngest slept through meal in pram. Eldest stayed up to eat and then napped on a soda under a blanket through speeches! ( was in a Stately home so comfy sofas/ chairs around.

Suppose it works well as need babysitter less. We also put then to sleep at 7.30pm in double buggy and head off to restaurants for 8pm meals with friends :)

My sister got married when my youngest was about this age, I have to say it was stressful and I didn't enjoy MYSELF as much as I'd have liked, but I am glad I went.

I took loads of (quiet) toys, pencils, paper etc., and was prepared to up and go for a walk if my DS kicked off. DH and I took it in turns to go for a walk when the inevitable happened, and eventually DS slept soundly in his buggy.

So on balance, stressy but worth it.

forevergreek you are a lucky woman :) Not one of my 3 children would ever, ever have done anything even remotely like that - if they are out, unless they are in a car or buggy that is moving at a good speed, they are awake!

My DCs are like those offorevergreek. They can be relied upon to have a good nap after lunch in the buggy, so a sit down meal at 2pm would be totally doable. My preschooler no longer naps, but my 26 month old still has a good 1.5hr nap after lunch, so I would wear her out in the morning and keep her up a little longer (she doesn't cry or get unsettled if nap is late) and put her to sleep in the buggy just before the sit down meal...sorted!
We have also put them to sleep in a double buggy and done out for a meal whilst on holiday over a year ago.

I didn't realise some DCs don't sleep when out and about How can you go for a day out?

Hmm, tricky one, but Id probably just go for the champagne. Particularly as there arent any other similarly aged children and parents so you will be on edge constantly waiting for the toddler to wake or whinge etc.
If the all the other adults are getting sloshed too, you wont really be able to enjoy it.
The toddler will be completely out of his comfort zone and theres no negotiating at that age.
I reckon either get a sitter for the whole event or stay for champers and leave..

It doesnt actually sound like that much fun for anyone with a baby either - even if they sleep a bit, it wont be for the whole time and they will need fed etc so people will be getting up and down from the table, jostling prams etc...

Get a babysitter for the day and evening if possible.I've been to loads of Baptisms/Christenings over the years but have never been to one,or even heard of one,with a sit down meal.Hope it all goes well.

It seems a tad bizarre that a christening isn't child friendly! A wedding/ birthdays etc I can understand but surely a christening is about the child

I was dreading it, but my sixteen month old slept right through the posh meal at my SIL's wedding.

Then woke up and charmed everyone for the rest of the afternoon.

Get a babysitter and have a nice day out or just go and leave early if he/she kicks off - who cares if it pisses them off? They will understand in 12 months time... 12 months to 2 years is the worst age for them to sit down for a meal.