I'm 12 weeks pregnant with dp and have a ds from a previous relationship. Me and dp are living seperately, moving in has always been on the cards but we have been putting it off.
He lives about 25 miles away, takes about 25 minutes, but he works even further South. He's been saying for a long time that he's going to look for a new job closer to mine but there's never really been any urgency. Now he's saying he doesn't want to move up here and can only see it working if I move over to him.
My arguement is, ds is settled and happy in school, I need to stay in my job to get my maternity pay and will be more difficult to find a new job with two children to work around, I've got loads of family round here and being a single parent that's been a huge support network for me, and would continue to be when I'm on mat leave. I'm less likely to be mobile than him as in he's used to just hopping on the motorway, I'm far less likely to do that as (a) I hate motorway driving and to the point that I just won't do it (b) will even more with two kids in tow. I'm quite happy to buy somewhere else round here so that it feels like ours.
His only arguement for not is that he's been brought up where he lives and doesn't want to change jobs. But in terms of going back to visit he's only got his mum and dad down there, most of his family are up North anyway. And I know he'll think nothing of driving down of a weekend to see his mum. My arguement is that a job is unlikely to last forever anyway, his co worker is retiring soon anyway and he's already said he'll hate it once he's gone. He also reckons he might have to take a cut on salary, but it won't be massive and could also mean an opportunity to retrain slightly. Seems we've hit a brick wall and I'm quite worried.