To get a cleaner

[ScariestFairyByFar]

I am about to go back to work after a month off with depression. Aibu to get a cleaner my mother says its not necessary. I'm a f/t working, single mother with a 17mo dd.

Unless your mother is either volunteering to do your cleaning or funding you in some way, why does she get to have an opinion about it? Up to you entirely, surely?

Yanbu.

Whatever it takes to make your life easier right now.

YANBU. Your mum is right. It isn't necessary. but working full time with a little 'un is hard work, and if you can afford it then do it.

Your wellbeing is important, and it sounds like this is the right thing for you.

Yanbu at all. But why are you asking your mum?

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I too am a working mum and I'd be lost without a cleaner. After working full time I'd rather spend time with my DC instead of scrubbing toilets. It's one less stress you need on your shoulders. Tell your mum to keep out of your business.

How is it any of your mum's business anyway?

Get a cleaner. Now!

That's not envy, that's a stern look.

YANBU... I've had a cleaner almost since I got my first pay cheque! I pay electricians to do my electrics, plumbers to sort out the pipes, decorators to paint the house, gardeners to fix the lawn..... dammit, if I had the cash, I'd have 'staff' by the dozen. have no idea why paying someone else to scrub the bathroom is seen by some as 'unnecessary'.

It is 'unnecessary'

But it is absolutely desirable, IMO.

YANBU to get a cleaner, I don't know why anyone wouldn't. None of your mum's business, I wouldn't even be discussing it.

It's unnecessary, but if you want one get one! Why not if you can afford it.

You work
You have a small child
you are single

I don't know what is unreasonable about it?

Just don't tell your mother

It may keep your spirits up to come home to a cleaned house once or twice a week so I'd say it was part of the ongoing protection against depression.

Your mother's opinions however may contribute to bringing you down emotionally so I'd give them a miss in terms of how necessary they are to listen to !

YANBU. Even my midwife advised me to get a cleaner if I could afford it, as it would make working full time with a small child so much easier. Ignore your mother and enjoy the blissful feeling of the house being clean and tidy once a week (as well as the minor stress of realising that it's the cleaner's day but you've gone to work leaving last night's washing up in the sink and your knickers on the bedroom floor )

If you can afford then of course it's reasonable to pay for

• things you can't do
• things you don't want to do.

Why not?

None of your mums business, get a cleaner :)

I find it very difficult to get my head round a situation where your mum has anything to do with it.

The fact that I have/was planning to get a cleaner might possibly have popped up in conversation with my mum, but I can't imagine a situation where I would have either asked her opinion or where it would have occurred to her to express one, other than in support of my decision.

Get one! As long as you can afford it it's none of anyone else's business.

You need all the support you can get.

Get a cleaner and ignore your mum - unless she is willing to do your cleaning for free!

No my mums not going to do it, she pays a cleaner. the only support she gives me is she pays a day a week of dd childcare but she chose to do this as she had planned to go p/t and watch dd one day. The only reason I spoke to her about it was cos I asked if her cleaner wanted more work.

Sounds like she might prefer you to pay for your childcare yourself rather than spend some of the money you are saving by her paying for it on a cleaner.

I don't know your mum obviously, but I'd say the first step to ensuring no one has a say over what you spend your money on is not to take money from them. Then your spending is entirely your decision.

That's not saying you shouldn't have accepted her offer to pay for childcare in the first place, but if it means she thinks she gets a say in what you spend your money on, it's probably time to be self-sufficient in your finances.

YANBU

I want to marry mine. Best thing I ever did. Well, apart from DS obvs.

Go for it, do you really want to clean when you don't have to.

Wish I had the money to pay for a cleaner.