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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only spend £10 each on presents on my family?

77 replies

VoterColonelSebastianDoyle · 16/10/2012 13:23

Hi ladies
Had a tough few months and i can only really afford £10 each for my mum dad nan and grandads presents do you think this is really stingy?

OP posts:
Jusfloatingby · 16/10/2012 15:16

Makes total sense to me. In fact, more families should start doing this and try to reverse some of the absolute madness that seems to have crept into Christmas.
Mind you, we tried this in my family a few years ago. I stuck to the limit but my DB and SIL decided that I was always so good to their kids that they would spend more on me and my DS had been ill coming up to Christmas and didn't have time to stick to a price limit and my parents ignored it so I ended up feeling really mean. Sad

soverylucky · 16/10/2012 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuenelleIsOrangeAndGoldForNow · 16/10/2012 15:33

Handbag essentials is a great idea soverylucky. I would be very happy to receive one. I might borrow your idea for DM, MIL and Auntie.

Merida · 16/10/2012 15:51

We've started doing a Secret Santa, as there are now ten of us (inc siblings, step-siblings and partners). The limit is £15 and it's actually good fun trying to find the cheesiest/best value/daftest item possible. I got a slanket last year and it's awesome!

DappyHays · 16/10/2012 15:55

All the adults in our family are doing a secret santa, 23 adults and the limit is £20. Buying for the children is voluntary and all pressies are from "Santa" as per the adult presents. There are 7 kids in the family.

Narked · 16/10/2012 16:02

It's not stingy at all. Just make sure you discuss it with your family ASAP to avoid them spending loads on you. You might find it comes as a relief to some of them - lots of people are tight for cash at the moment or one unexpected bill from it.

Ithinkitsjustme · 16/10/2012 16:07

I'm thinking that a Secret Santa might be a great idea for our family as for the first time in 11 years all my siblings are in the UK for cHristmas and I'm panicing about buying presents for everyone. I think £10 limit is a good idea as well, but I have to admit that I do spoil all my nephews (and will no doubt do the same for my new niece!).

HoratiaWinwood · 16/10/2012 16:30

My family are restrained one might even say stingy at Christmas whereas the inlaws clearly have a large budget - and if they haven't spent their budget for you you also get a voucher for the balance...

DH's uncle and aunt turn up with a gift bag for each of our children. We have repeatedly asked them not to, and it is typically the only time we see them all year. The gift bag is the size of a bin liner and crammed with crap cheap plastic toys that go straight into the regift/charity shop cupboard.

I long for relations (well, inlaws) who are sensible and spend a token amount rather than a fortune. They probably think we are stingy but I DON'T CARE.

LaCiccolina · 16/10/2012 16:36

Can you make them anything?

A cake? Delias xmas cake is the best receipe i know and everyone loves to receive something thoughtful?

redadmiralsinthegarden · 16/10/2012 16:41

I wish more people would do this. christmas isn't about consumerism, it's about celebrating family and loved ones, in my book.
we should all stop getting carried away with buying rubbish for people who probably have too much rubbish in their lives anyway.
£10?? Buy something edible, or at least something that will definitely get USED.

BlueberryHill · 16/10/2012 16:46

We're suggesting this for adults this year, gone OK with my parents and I think that my DB will be OK with it. Not sure how MIL and SIL will react as we haven't broached it yet, but it got to the point last year when we swapped cheques ?????? FIL will like it, he thinks Christmas is overblown and should just be for children anyway. SIL likes grand gestures so I'm not sure how it will go down and it means DH saying we aren't made of money.

DH and I are getting eachother something token to open on Christmas Day, then going online on Boxing Day to buy some things for ourselves. We have joint finances so it is barking to pay full price for it when it is half price a day later.

I think it will be a lot of books and some homemade cakes, jams etc

BikeRunSki · 16/10/2012 16:53

We've had £10 limit for over 18s for about 5 years. This year we have decided to do a Secret Santa amongst the adults, limit £30 each. Everyone is free to spend as much or little as they want on children.

jenduck · 16/10/2012 17:04

Haven't read the whole thread, but YANBU for not being able to spend more than £10 on relatives.

However, there are many lovely gifts you can give for less than this (I know, I have done it lots of times!). For example a voucher promising to make & serve them a nice meal or do some gardening etc. Or a nice photo of you/your DC, taken by you & enlarged at Tesco/Boots/wherever, in a nice frame from supermarket or Wilkos (DH did this for me last year, cost about £12 iirc). Or make a little hamper with some homemade goodies, photos, chocs, pictures by DC & similar inexpensive treats in it. Or scout around charity shops/jumble sales/car boot sales for brand new things still in packaging for pennies (I have bought at least 3 presents this way).

Good luck with it!

oohlaalaa · 16/10/2012 17:42

It's fine, and more than I spend. Blush

glenthebattleostrich · 16/10/2012 17:47

Get across to the Christmas Bargains thread in the Christmas section - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/1587107-The-third-bargain-Christmas-gift-ideas-thread

There are also some good homemade Christmas threads in there too.

Also, check out your local charity shops, I just got a gorgeous scarf for my DSIS for £2, it's originally from River Island and is in perfect condition :)

Or you could make up a movie box for everyone, a cheap DVD, some popcorn and a bottle of something (idea stolen from other threads!)

cynister · 16/10/2012 17:59

Soverylucky, I love your handbag essentials gift! I am going to do this for most of my female rellies. I think I shall include mints, and a tiny bottle of scent. Thank you so much for this great idea!

ThompsonTwins · 16/10/2012 18:10

You are absolutely not being stingy. Try the Iwantoneofthose website - loads of things there! Also this one www.gifts.com/finder - American but with lots of ideas.

DD was 18 this year and is now at university - lots of expenses. We have done what lots of people do anyway and agreed that no big spending this year for Christmas - we have to make each other's present.

She is getting into cooking for flatmates and friends so am going to make an apron with a suitable message on the front (and I am no needlewoman) using a remnant of fabric, make her some chocolates and decorate a recycled box to put them in etc. Also going to try and knit her some cushion covers for her room using washed and recycled wool. I have two left hands so it should be a laugh. And, it will help my empty nest feelings. Dear Thompsoncat brought me a present for my empty nest this morning - a wet, bedraggled and very dead bird!

cynister · 16/10/2012 18:51

Ohhhh..TT..ThompsonCat clearly loves you and fears your hunting ability..

A1980 · 16/10/2012 19:32

Not at all. its the thought that counts. I wouldn't want someone to stretch themselves to buy me a gift they couldn't afford.

TeaOneSugar · 16/10/2012 19:42

Not much help this year, but maybe worth thinking about for next year.

I save for vouchers every year, I pay by direct debit the first payment for christmas 2013 will come out on 1st December this year, so it's spread out as much as possible.

I know people on here pull faces about vouchers, but it means my christmas shopping is paid for in advance and because its direct debit I can't dip into it.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 16/10/2012 20:01

YANBU. Last year my side of the family did a secret Santa with a £10 limit. A fair amount of cheating went on though! This year I will be suggesting the same with a £20 limit and No Cheating

DH's side of the family are into big showy gifts and it's ridiculous. These are the same people who run out of money to top up the electricity meter and call DH from the petrol pumps because they have no money in their account. Both of which are through appallingly bad money management rather than poverty so are incredibly irritating.

IneedAgoldenNickname · 16/10/2012 20:02

Me, my brother and step sister do poundland presents, one thing, that has to be useful, it's always a fun challenge!

jojane · 16/10/2012 20:03

For those doing the handbag thing, you can get a handbag insert with lots of little pockets, it goes inside your bag to keep everything in order and when you swop bags you just pop it out with everything in it, think it was about a fiver off amazon

McHappyPants2012 · 16/10/2012 20:05

I don't buy for my siblings, just nieces and nephews. If I spent £10 on each of them it would cost £110, so it things like books ect.

mum47 · 16/10/2012 20:07

Not stingy at all. My two sisters and I give each other presents (we all have dcs who we buy for) but we stick to a limit of £5 each. We always manage to get each other really nice gifts - I usually go to TK Maxx and get something really decent, which has a value of much more than I spend, and with all the sales that are on even already, am sure I will have not problem finding good presents.