Do you still do it all on weekends? What's unreasonable?

[mummahubba]

Every weekend DP and I argue about what he isn't doing and that what he's doing isn't how it needs to be, I am always having to ask him to do things, remind him to and then double check once it's done. He plays beautifully with DC and has a lovely relationship with them and I often look at them all together and think how lucky they are to have the relationship they do with their dad. BUT he is undeniably crap at some things. Some friends in rl have said that on the weekend they carry on as if DP isn't there and carry on doing it all, that way there are no arguments and no expectations. I'm edging towards this but think it's a pretty crap deal. He gives me sleep in's in the weekend if I need it and everything he does is with us in mind. Shit the more I write the more I think he's a darling. Anyway, what do you do? Are men just simply crap at things like putting clothes on the right way around, remembering our 'routine' ie to prepare lunch!

I think the fact you have to double check he's done it right speaks volumes

ok

a few different points

children have basic needs that must be met, including being fed, so that's non-negotiable

clothes on backtofront, well you know, no one died from having their breeches on backwards, let it go

analyse your actions and responses - why are you controlling the weekend/how he does stuff/reminding/double checking? Don't de-skill him by undermining (this a VERY easy trap to fall into) or denting his confidence

what other stuff does he do/not do that gets on your pip? it might well be that he's a lazy bastard who needs a kick up the bum

We both do the bare minimum at weekends!

Dp and I split things at weekends. He lies in one day and me the next. We do things like I'll iron and he'll Hoover. I'll cook the dinner and he will mow the lawn. We share watching the kids, playing with them etc and we also have time together out and about or just chilling. I don't think you should have to do it all. Just suggest something like "could you make the children a sandwich while I put the washing away?" that way it feels more equal.

If he plays wonderfully with the children then why not get out of the house regularly, just on your own, and have a lovely bit of quiet time to yourself?

We ususally do the bare minimum too
I work Sunday's so dh has to clothe & feed & entertain the dcs which is fine cos since dc1 was 9 months I have gone away for weekends with the girls so he's used to it