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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to give them beans on toast next time?

38 replies

WindyandWet · 15/10/2012 09:48

Background: I do most of the cooking in the flat. I enjoy it, and it's cheaper to cook for 2 than for the pair of us to cook separately. He likes a proper sit-down meal on a Sunday, so I'll often do a roast or something. He was away this weekend with a friend and they weren't getting back til latish last night. Friend lives in halls and would have been too late for dinner, so my flatmate said this friend would be at ours for dinner. I have no problem with that, and tell flatmate what's in the freezer. He approves, and asks if I'll cook a specific recipe, which I agree to. All's ok so far.

I text my flatmate yesterday to ask what time he wants dinner, and get told 7, so I assume they'll be back half 6 or so, and organise cooking so it's all done on time. I had to go and get a vital ingredient Saturday, so that was an hour out of my day, then preparing the food took a couple of hours yesterday. Still ok. I get a text at 5 saying they're on their way. Knowing where they are I'm expecting them at half 6 or so. I get the meat out of the pan at half 6 to cool slightly, so I can put the final touches to it and put it in the oven at quarter to for ten minutes.

The 2 selfish idiots didn't turn up til half past 7. They had been to the pub on the way back. I was very unimpressed, considering how much work I'd put into dinner. The veg was burnt and the meat not far off. And I didn't even get a thank you from them.

Next time they go away together WIBU to present them on their return with a loaf of bread, a can of beans and tell them if they want dinner they can do it themselves?

OP posts:
Felicitywascold · 15/10/2012 10:09

Why would you do this? Why would you be at home cooking a la stepford wife for a flatmate who is too rude to say thanks? (You live with him, he must usually be rude or you would have just spoken to him about this one occasion and he would have offered to buy you dinner tonight...)

Why do you feel responsible for his meals?

FireOverBabylon · 15/10/2012 10:10

next time they say they want to eat at 7, serve it at 7 and eat yours. They can reheat theirs when they roll in.

oh, and read this again "I do most of the cooking in the flat. I enjoy it, and it's cheaper to cook for 2 than for the pair of us to cook separately. He likes a proper sit-down meal on a Sunday, so I'll often do a roast or something." He's not your husband, you shouldn't be cooking roasts for a flatmate, that's what the local pub is for! There's a world of difference between pooling money for food and you being treaed like little wifey. He needs to start cooking 3 nights a week, going to the pub on Sunday lunchtime and sorting his own food out on a sunday night, so you each do meals for 3 days.

toofattorun · 15/10/2012 10:10

I think there is more to this than meets the eye.
This is my theory:

You are in love with said flat mate and you were jealous because he "stood you up" with his friend (male or female? Hmmmm?)
It's not about the food, is it? It's not about the food at all.....

MadBusLadyHauntsTheMetro · 15/10/2012 10:11

And yes, I think Vinegartits is right too.

He likes a proper sit-down meal on a Sunday,

You sound like you've been married to him for fifty years. Or like you'd like to sound like you are.

showtunesgirl · 15/10/2012 10:14

Another one here who thinks that there's more to this story.

OP, he's your flatmate, not your DH/DP. The only flatmate I ever cooked for was when I lived with my sister!

YellowDinosaur · 15/10/2012 10:16

I don't think the op is necessarily being too stepford wifey to enjoy cooking for her flatmate. I love cooking and if 1) the costs were shared, 2) my efforts were appreciated, and 3) he did the washing up I'd be more than happy with this arrangement.

However in the op situation it is clear that 2 certainly isn't happening and probably not 3. In which case I'd tell my flatmate to pull his weight or sort his own food out.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/10/2012 10:16

Hes just not that into you.

Cromwell44 · 15/10/2012 10:20

Why would you need to show your flat mate where the bread and beans are? Surely he must know this for himself. It seems the enjoyment you get from has led to you becoming responsible for food in the flat so stop cooking now as your becoming a doormat...or what toofattorun said.

squoosh · 15/10/2012 12:33

YABU.

If you'd have had a couple of glasses of wine whilst cooking you'd be a lot more blasé. It's not that big a deal, twas only half an hour.

squeaver · 15/10/2012 12:42

Interesting thread here

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 15/10/2012 13:34

Since when is it against the 'Talk Guidelines' to say a thread has to be a wind up??

MrsKeithRichards · 15/10/2012 13:36

What the hell were you cooking?

MadBusLadyHauntsTheMetro · 15/10/2012 13:39

Ha. If the other thread is also about this guy I amend my advice to "Stop cooking for cocklodgers."

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