Lace ups or velcro??

[bizzey]

Ex dh doesn't agree that I still let ds's wear shoes with velcro and I should be teaching them to use shoes with laces everday !

My point is WHY !! T her are shoes that make lives easier /quicker for all of us and eventually they will do lace ups (ds1 can on his football boots )...

In fact shoes can go from velcro to slip on !

BTW exdh never had anything to do with school run or understanding of how quick they have to get changed for PE before we separated (well he did ..but didn't listen !)

Ok should point out now ds's are not toddlers 11/9/7 yrs

I am teaching them in my own time lace ups ...but in that quick minute before PE !!! They would panic !!

Some may be lazy worra but I have an issue with those who automatically assume that because some children can't do laces = lazy.

Just for the record, my ds cannot do ties either, and has issues with small fiddly buttons. There are a number of children at his school who are the same, but I don't just assume that they are all lazy, or have lazy parents.

It is perplexing that some cannot look beyond their own experiences or beliefs of what children should be able to do, to accept that everyone has different abilities, even when it comes to shoelace tying.

Sorry - could not be arsed with the rights and wrongs discussion on here but for those of you who are interested, here's a product which got around laces for my DS who has a physical disability which has meant laces = problems. He's 11 and can just about do them now but it's taken some real hard work from him. In the meantime, so he didn't get flustered an upset at school, he used these:-

www.amazon.co.uk/Lock-Laces-laces-black/dp/B003HLRKU2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350255822&sr=8-1

I have yet to encounter a child who just figured out tie tying or shoelace tying on their own. It is something they normally need to be taught. Therefore if they don't know how to again, it goes without saying, barring a SN it is down to parents not setting aside the time and putting in the effort. Same with teaching children to use a knife to cut their own meat and veg, use cutlery properly, say please or thank you, etc. Not much of that sort of stuff comes naturally.

Yes, mine did go to a private primary but they could wear whatever footwear they wanted as long as it was white, black or brown and no high heels or boots on anyone.

This is not a case of unreasonable poshness vs. the decent common folk. It is a case of parents who couldn't be arsed.

Have you bought non-eyewateringly expensive lace up school shoes? I did. Got DS1 a pair of lace ups from Clarks, rather than the Velcro ones he always had.

They have the WORST fucking laces known to humankind. They have some sort of coating on, ostensibly to make them more hard wearing.

However, this shiny fucking coating means that even when DS1 does them in a double knot, tied tightly, they slide themselves undone in minutes.

They do the sane thing when I do them.

DS1 has been able to tie his laces since he started footy training at 4yo.

I can't find a pair of laces in the shops to replace them with, because they need to be very short ones.

The shoes are TRASHED. Because what 10yo is going up spend half of their break and lunch tying their shoelaces when they could be playing football or generally running around?

So the hard wearing laces have lasted longer than the fucking shoes they DIDN'T keep done up!

His next pair will either be Velcro or slip ons. Bollicks to crappy short, shiny cunting laces, I say.

Oh, and all his trainers for outside of school have laces that he has no problem with btw.

Velcro or Slip ons are just EASIER when you have multiple DC's that will trash their expensive school shoes.

DS1 has only had these since the 1st September!

For the record, I couldn't tie my shoelaces until I was 13, despite being shown and shouted at EVERY. BLOODY. DAY. From the age of 4yo.

I joined Mensa at 10.

Tying shoelaces is NOT an indicator of lazy parents, or of a lack of intelligence.

The inability to tie shoelaces comes down to the simple fact that everybody's Fine Motor control develops at a different rate.

My 21yo Dbro, who has dyspraxia and Hypermobility Syndrome FINALLY learnt to tie his shoelaces last week. He had had YEARS of physiotherapy sessions devoted to attempting to teach this skill, years of my Mother showing him how to do it, years of TA's spending a lesson a week solely on this skill.

It took him until he was 21, and living at Uni in his fourth year, to finally master this skill.

I could tell you that he is on course for a first in a degree in Environmental Sciences at UEA, despite his inability to tie his shoelaces until last week, but that'd probably kill the thread...

Oh and My sons school most the boys wear slip on shoes

Being able to tie shoe laces has nothing to do with class, or laziness or any other preconceived notion that some people on this thread obviously have.

Neither is it an essential life skill, like being able to care for yourself properly.

Couthy above has stated it more succintly than I have, though not through lack of trying.

From what has been posted on this thread, it's obvious that laziness = not understanding that one childs ability is different from another.

Couthy's examples related to individuals with SNs.

And again, as has been stated many times on this thread, barring any SN including dyspraxia and any other SN issue, the average child should be able to tie laces, and would be able to if taught. If fine motor control is so undeveloped that laces are beyond a child of 9 then some sort of OT would be indicated. I would be interested to know if laces were the only area where the fine motor difficulty revealed itself or if there were other things that were also difficult or impossible
Handwriting? Buttoning? Picking up small objects? Putting in earrings if worn? Playing with Lego? Difficulty using a knife and fork?

DS 12 can't tie his laces. Just hasn't got the fine motor skills so he has elastic triathalon laces making his shoes slip ons. I got them on Amazon and they have saved a world of embarassment for him.

My ds has handwriting problems too. He knows perfectly well how to do laces up but in practice he consistently makes a pigs ear of it. I have shown him repeatedly but he doesn't actually care if his shoes turn into a ratty mess, are loose on his feet or have a collection of knots for laces. I however do because shoes are expensive and I don't enjoy looking at his feet and wincing.

He has never taken up 'hours' of TA time because when he was younger he wore velcro shoes, and now he has adult size feet he has the lace locks that others have referenced.

Luckily he has never been to a school that required ties or buttoned up shirts, and I can't see him needing to wear either for many years, if ever (he is a highly geeky kid and I can't really imagine him in an office) but even if he does I'm sure he will find solutions when he really needs them.

He doesn't have diagnosed special needs, nor am I a lazy parent - dd has been able to tie her laces competently for years. He just finds tying a tight neat bow that doesn't become a knot or fall apart in a minute or two difficult.

Ds still has an elasticated tie, he is 8 and in year 4. The reason I havn't taught him to tie a tioe is that I don't know how to do one myself haveing never worn one.

Dd can do hers as one of her schoolfriends taught her but I expect that when she goes to senior schoool next year she will forget the skill as the girls don't wear ties.

All the schools round here have clip on ties for safety.

Oddly my dyslexic DD1 is way better at laces than her NT sister.

I'm more mildly dyslexic and hated them at school, was always last. We had to change our shoes 4 times a day at primary. I hated it.
As I said up thread now days I'm can do laces, I'm just lazy.

Velcro. Why not? My 8 year old still wears Velcro, just because they're quicker to change in and out of for PE. He can tie shoelaces, but prefers the quick and easy ones.