To think I'm being left out?

[ivanapoo]

The part of the company I work for has 7 women in it. One is a real boys' girl and goes out with a couple of the guys at lunchtime.

The other 5 girls - including one who only started a few weeks ago - have just gone out for lunch all together without me. Admittedly they all sit on a desk together while I sit on a separate desk next to them as I'm in a slightly different role.

This isn't the first time it's happened.

I don't think I'm an awful person, a dickhead or unbearably boring but I think they're purposefully not inviting me out. I am pregnant and a tiny bit older than them. But we seem to get along fine.

Am I being self absorbed or paranoid? Should I just not care? I feel like I must have done something to irritate them and I'm finding it quite upsetting tbh.

I would feel the same tbh.

Sounds like it's not deliberate if they all sit together and do a similar role. I doubt they thought about it.

When they come back, why don't you say to them "Had a nice lunch?" let them reply and say "I'd love to come next time, if you'll have me." and I susepct they'll be totally happy to ask you.

I would feel the same as well.

But, do you like them? Would you want to go out with them?

It's very easy to be a bit sensitive to these perceived slights. I'd suggest you buy cakes one afternoon as a treat to show you are friendly and then suggest you'd like to join them if they go out again sometime

@Heath, I do like them, we're not soul mates or anything and I do have my head down at work a lot though. I might not go as I'm often v busy but it would be nice to be included.

@just I've bought cakes in twice this week already! I've worked with some of them for 2 years, I'm not new....

I've emailed one of them that im closest to about it so will see what they say.

Yes, you might not want to go every time, but it is nice to be asked.

Perhaps you could suggest going out to try a new lunch spot or something?

Ah sure it's not intentional. You are slightly older and pregnant, you don't sit at their desk and that's probably it tbh.

I would employ the direct 'oh you lot, I am here you know and available for lunch' with a laugh and sure it will be fine.

Well i feel like a bit of a wally after speaking to one of them. Turns out that it was completely unintentional and they weren't even all going out together but in 3 groups, they just all left the office at the same-ish time and I put 2+2 together and got 5.

You're not a wally! Now's your chance to organise a big team/office lunch