to be uncomfortable with toddler's key worker smoking

[Stokey]

Dd1she(3 next month) has just started a new nursery. When I went to drop her off today about 10 this morning, her key worker was having a fag outside. She dropped it as soon as she saw us but I feel a bit uncomfortable with a smoker looking after my child. AIBU?

The only thing that sounds weird is that she dropped it when she saw you.

Although having read some people's posts, about the 20 minutes thing, you might not be entirely U....(or non-U? )

It wouldn't surprise me if the actual policy for staff was to step away from the building and she didn't follow it, which is why she looked guilty. But you can't dictate that only non-smokers look after your children, unless that's nursery policy.

If you walk down the street with a small child who is level with bus fumes, lorry fumes, all kinds of fumes, that is far more detrimental to her health that being in contact with someone who has had a cigarette outside of the child's vicinity

Yeah, but there's still a small amount of danger in being around a smoker, especially constantly for a certain number of hours a day. So why would you want to add that onto the "total"? It's not like you're replacing the number of hours the kid would be breathing in bus fumes with the number of hours he'd be spending breathing in cigarette-smell, it's not either/or.

My DD came home from nursery smelling of smoke once. It only happened once but I wasn't impressed. I know only one of the assistants smoked in her class but I guess if he was normally smoking at lunch and I only picked her up after work I wouldn't have noticed.

If she is a much loved keyworker she will be cuddling her etc a lot so I see where you are coming from but in my experience you might struggle to find an entirely non smoking nursery.

No but I was pointing out that her concern is misplaced. If she is looking for a health issue to fret over there are much bigger and obvious ones to choose from. No one was smoking near her child. That is the point.

It always strikes me as strange the amount of sympathy given to people who are over weight on mn, as its an addiction. But not smokers.

Its an addiction. I didn't realise hoe bad until I quit 8 weeks ago. Making smokers feel like lepers isn't going to help them quit. Does treating over weight people help them?

At the end of the day OP, this woman is mot doing anything illegal and is an adult.

At the end of the day OP, this woman is mot doing anything illegal and is an adult.

this really is all,

Their premises, their rules. Your money, your choice.

Perfectly reasonable to feel uncomfortable.
Unreasonable to think you can have the right to do something about it.

My main concern here would be how close she was to the nursery ie do they have staff puffing away close to an open window or where the children might see them.

Depending on the location of the nursery, maybe there is an official smoking shelter they should be using.

I would be surprised if the nursery didn't have a policy about staff smoking in breaks. The policy at DS2's nursery seems to be that staff must change out of their uniforms and walk away from the nursery (they usually go round the corner into another street) if they want to smoke on their breaks. The staff also change into their uniforms at work, but arrive and leave in their own clothes.

When I was a teenager and working for a prominent fast food chain, there were rules about not smoking in uniform. It was all about the company's image. I'd imagine that applies even more now.

I can't imagine the nursery manager would be pleased to find that the staff are smoking outside the nursery (especially if they're doing it in their uniform). That's probably why she dropped the cigarette when she saw you.

TBH, I'd much prefer that the nursery nurses that work with DS2 didn't smoke, but it's not my decision to make.

The smell on uniform i get it. The 'what if the children see her' i don't. She is not the only person in their life. So what if they see her?

They might ask questions about it. A good opportunity to talk to children about smoking and choices imo.

I think, from the nursery's point of view, it's about the public image of the nursery. Staff in unform smoking is not usually the image they want to present to the world, as it may well put potential customers off. Similarly, nurseries don't usually let staff smoke directly outside the door because having to walk past smoking staff to get in doesn't create the right kind of impression.