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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to think that sexism is unacceptable regardless of whether the target is male or female?

58 replies

CelineMcBean · 11/10/2012 12:26

Not a thread about a thread, but inspired by one.

Is it ever ok to allow something sexist to stand because it is against men but where it is against women it would be pulled?

For example, if someone were to suggest that men are less capable intellectually than women is that ok because historically women have been treated as the inferior group (eg not allowed full degrees, made to give up jobs because they got married, or the expectations that certain professions and seniorities will be male) - or does it just undermine our protests about equality and fair treatment if we allow sexist attitudes towards men to be perpetuated while taking up the baton for the feminist viewpoint?

I think it undermines equal rights and attempts to bring equality if we allow the traditionally dominant group (ie men) to be treated in a way that we are trying to prevent the discriminated group (ie women) being treated. AIBU?

OP posts:
Latara · 11/10/2012 17:03

I like looking at attractive men.

But I dislike the sexual objectification of men.

Despite being straight - i actually like looking at attractive women too - & obviously i dislike the sexual objectification of women.

I dislike it when either women or men are made to look stupid or incapable; or dismissed as 'typical' women or men - just because of their gender.

Women are still far more oppressed in this world than men; but that does not mean that there is no sexism against men or that it's ok to treat men in a bad way.

Now having me a Brew (yes, i wish i had a nice boyfriend to spoil me & make it, but only my cat is here.) Will be interested to read the rest of this thread.

Latara · 11/10/2012 17:07

Now i feel guilty for typing ''only my cat is here'' - she's looking at me as if to say ''what do you mean only? - i'm special; don't be cat-ist...'' Grin

PanonOlympus · 11/10/2012 17:18

The intent and 'atmosphere' is quite important, as has been said. I don't mind the 'what's best on a man's body' thread as it does seem to be more about aesthetics and what's v pleasing on the eye. A comparable discussion with a bunch of men is far more likely to take a different tone.

fwiw, women's bodies aren't any more attractive than mens - it depends on the individual, and it being in the eye of the beholder. ( I'd also question the criticism of mens bits compared to womens bits....)

PanonOlympus · 11/10/2012 17:22

digerd - womens legs? Oh nooooo.......Grin

PeggyCarter · 11/10/2012 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wiseelder · 04/11/2012 20:51

No all sexism is wrong. Men are objectified in the popular media like we were never. It's all considered to be harmless fun, which is the get out clause for sexism. Hence the latest sexist advert from Moonpig along with the other ads with scantily clad males. And this is not a new thing. In fact I would suggest that men have been objectified far more than women ever were. I recall an advert way back in the late 70's early 80's with Molly Sugden cooing over a topless man. One of so many where the female is portrayed as smug and superior. I find his offensive and does not represent me.

The person who proffered the notion of acceptability due to a weightedness of past sexism is merely a sexist. We cannot argue against something and suggest an acceptability because the victim is male. Are you really a mother? What you are really saying is do as I say and not as I do. Furthermore, are all men guilty because of the actions of a few? If its some kind of revenge you are seeking you had more than you have received.

My son is a good looking lad and an ex girlfriend of his posted personal photos of him on the internet because they split up. Are we really saying thats OK because of his gender? He was really upset by this and which parent wants to see her child so distressed. Am I supposed to feel a sense of pleasure because some men do it women?

Men are more apathetic with such matters. Their tribalistic behaviours lend to the double standard we see on TV. Would we accept a female having her vagina measured on TV? On channel 4 TV Dr Christian measured a young man's penis suggesting it was something boys ask all the time? Really? We would complain and rightly so if this was a female. If we were to complain to channel 4 we would have a voice that his heard. Truth is this would not happen in the first place.

Did anybody see the BBC programme finding a Joseph. Would we have tolerated our daughters required to sing scantily clad in front of their fathers like the boys did?

I acknowledge that topless women are in some daily rags, but as my husband pointed out, I can see topless men in the street during the summer. I can coo and scream over firemen like so many of my colleagues. That is far more disempowering than anything else.

I can sit with topless male calendars around our desks at work. Indeed, there isn't one girly calendar at work. So watch out anyone tutting at the younger lads reading the Sun. Oh and just some background on our sisters at work. One was sacked for downloading beastiality pictures and printing them off. And about 25 years ago, 5 girls were fired for stripping a YTS trainee naked and simulating sex over him. He was terrified by this ordeal. So for me, you can forget the collective misandryious tone. Working with a mix of ordinary people is far better than working with the aforementioned idiots and their behaviou is not justified by notions of sexism.

I suggest that many of the responses on this forum have really inspired me and I feel really pleased that the majority seem to be against this double standard. As an equalitarian, I too would and indeed have complained at sexism towards men on TV. A voice that is seemingly growing based upon the replies from Ofcom. As a woman, I feel we are really moving forward. For those who disagree, long will it be before we can argue sexism with such double standards. Furthermore, isn't it just biggotry to speak collectively of men, based upon some or no negative experiences.

Gill
Manchester

wiseelder · 04/11/2012 20:52

Apologies for the lecture

Gill x

StuntGirl · 04/11/2012 21:04

I think saying men suffer more sexism than women is laughable at best. That's not to say men are never victims of sexism mind...

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