to report the behaviour of this little charmer to the school - and if so, to whom?

[Pennybubbly]

I'll try to be as brief as possible, without drip-feeding.
I live abroad in my DH's country and my DD attends the local elementary school (Y2, but she would be Y3 if she was in the UK).
I work full-time, so she goes to an sfter-school club every day until I pick her up just before 5pm. The club is next door to the school, but the staff are not teachers and the whole set-up is run by the (equivalent of the) local council.

There is a Y3 boy who also attends this club every day and is making life quite unpleasant for my DD (and a few of her friends). He has to date:
Whispered "DIE" in her ear on several separate occasions, exposed himself to DD and her friend when they were reading in the 'book corner' and his latest episode yesterday, hidden round the corner from DD after she beat him at a game a group of them were playing and kicked her in the shins as she walked past.

On all occasions, he has been "made" by the staff to go and apologise to her, which he has half-heartedly done with a smirk on his face (I was there yesterday when they made him apologise to her (and me).

Obviously I've complained to the staff at the club, but they seem unable to do anything to stop him (they roll their eyes in a 'what can we do' way when I've spoken to them).

So (I think) I've made the decision to go and speak to her school staff about him. My problem is - who do I speak to? My DD's teacher and ask her to pass on the complaint? His teacher? (who I've never met and of course doesn't know me) The Head Teacher? (doesn't know me - too extreme?). Also, although this kid goes to the school, all the above episodes took place at the school club.

Am I over-reacting? My DH says we should let DD sort it out by encouraging her to attack back. She does karate, and could physically easily take the kid out but a) that's not the point of karate and b) it is not in her character to be violent. Do I encourage her to retaliate? I have a feeling that unless she does, this kid will continue his shitty behaviour, or even worse, escalate it.

Advice please!

No I understand, just projecting maybe. DD is being constantly harassed by a boy who is trouble.
He is just an overindulged little git who, gets what he wants. Currently he wants my DD to be his girlfriend for the prestige

Rip Overindulged children often have no boundaries, and that can be incredibly damaging for a child. I am often moved to think of Saffy from Ab Fab. She said that she was given no boundaries, she felt that she was freefalling, she had no security just fear(cant remember the exact quote but that was basically what she said).
Maybe this child who is "trouble" is "troubled". Think of him as a little boy who doesnt know what is right or wrong, what is safe and what is not, what hurts and what doesnt. Imagine how frightening it must be.

I agree Smeg.
I think an 8 year old exposing himself is very, very worrying indeed.
Hopefully Penny's words will result in some appropriate actions being taken.

Exposing himself is a flag for sexual abuse, or being exposed to age inappropriate sexual behaviour or images.

I wonder what the staffs attitude would be if a girl had done that? Is it any wonder that there are so many fucked up men out there, when their issues are glossed over like they are being here?

Winged Smeg rip - Your thoughts are the exact reason that I reported this to the school. If he is in some kind of trouble, the doors have perhaps now been opened to start investigating.

Just to clarify, although I recognise that the after-school club staff are not teachers. They are a set of young adults basically employed to 'watch over' a group of about 25 kids at the end of the school day. I wasn't wholly surprised at their reaction, which is why I wanted clarification from DD's school as to what my/their next course of action should be.

I honestly could not even begin to speculate whether this kid is suffering from any form of abuse. To my completely untrained eyes, he's a scrawny 9 year-old who is targetting a group of younger kids, all girls, who will then shriek / cry at his actions, or at best, my DD, who ignores, then reports to the staff. The trouble is, all they've made him do to date is give a half-hearted insincere apology to my DD (and in one case, not even that) and her friends.
Hardly severe repercussion to deter him from doing anything further is it?

I don't really want to cry "sexual abuse" at this stage when it could actually just be an incredibly immature kid fooling around.

However, what does worry me was that it seems he has planned all his actions. The latest incident on Wednesday arose after my daughter beat him at a game of Othello. I could understand (a sore loser) throwing the board up in frustration, or chucking the counters on the floor, but instead what he (later) did was to hide around a corner and as DD walked by, jumped out and kicked her in the shins. That form of pre-meditation makes me think that there is perhaps something more sinister to his actions. Or perhaps he's a savvy 9 year old and doesn't want to be seen doing his bullying.

However, it's now and issue for the school to deal with, so I'll leave further speculation to them.

I understand all that. I will withdraw now.

Sorry - one more point.
When I used the word "trouble", I was using my own words (DD's teacher is not English-speaking). What she actually said was something along the lines of "ah, xxxx, yes, his name is known/spoken of quite frequently in the staffroom". The inference being that there have been other issues concerning this boy. I started to say his name and had only said his surname when she interrupted and finished off saying the rest of his name, year group and class.

Your ONLY duty here is to protect your DD, and teach her NOT to accept this.

Go hell for leather, you're under-reacting.

I'm really glad the school listened. It seems schools are taking these things much more seriously these days which is great.

I hope you can get it sorted.

Btw, a few years ago when teaching I had an 8 year old boy expose himself in class. I, of course, removed him from class and had the staff talk to him. The staff spoke to his mum who was really embarrassed and the girls' mums too who thought it was hysterical. For him it was just a spur of the moment, really stupid thing to do. The boy you are dealing with sounds a lot more sinister.