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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in not allowing my ex to let my 5yr old daughter talk to her death row boyfriend on the phone

115 replies

munkiboy1971 · 10/10/2012 22:00

She's been 'involved' with death row inmates since we split 2 yaers ago. She's sent pictures of our kids to them before and I asked her not to involve them in her relationships before now but I recently found out that she was allowing our youngest daughter to talk to her latest squeeze when he calls (using his illegally held mobile phone which inadvertanly have been paying for with the money I give to her for the kids).
It creeps me out to know she's been doing this and I've asked for a signed letter to say she's not going to do it again.
She's a pretty fancy piece of work but I really don't understand how even she can possibly think that what she is doing is in any way right.

OP posts:
DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost · 10/10/2012 22:18

Well you can also let the prison know he's got an illegal mobile, and that your ex isn't a trustworthy correspondent? I imagine she's made the contacts through a charity of some sort - maybe raise your concerns with them too?

BlueSuedeWitchesHat · 10/10/2012 22:19

I read this as your 5yo has a boyfriend on death row...

Me three! It took me ages to decipher the true meaning. I think it's bedtime.

OP YABU, Death row inmates need love too. He's probably just misunderstood.

munkiboy1971 · 10/10/2012 22:19

In hindsight that could have been worded better.............................

OP posts:
DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost · 10/10/2012 22:20

To the other posters, there are a lot of people writing to death row inmates in the states, from all over the world - sometimes they even get married. Now that's bizarre...

babyfirefly1980 · 10/10/2012 22:21

I'm going to call karl pilkington in on this one...bullshit man to the rescue.

Narked · 10/10/2012 22:22

They are allowed to make phone calls. You didn't need the 'illegally held mobile phone.' Sloppy.

Dawndonna · 10/10/2012 22:23

Actually, it is a child protection issue, and if the NSPCC advised otherwise, a situation I find unlikely, then they are wrong.

imperialstateknickers · 10/10/2012 22:23

munki could you answer shotgun's questions please?

AgentZigzag · 10/10/2012 22:24

What your ex spends her money on is her own business.

Have you ever thought about...hang on, I'm wasting my time writing out any more aren't I?

RedTuesdayGreenWednesday · 10/10/2012 22:24

If this is real, you are all being quite callous.

PickledFanjoCat · 10/10/2012 22:26

Unlikely, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.

birdofthenorth · 10/10/2012 22:26

I think it says a lot about a person if they solicit romances with convicted killers who have literally no prospect of freedom! Clearly YANBU to want your 5 yo not to talk to murderers. Obviously.

How does your ex even "meet" these people? Are they allowed Internet access? Bizarrio.

Happylander · 10/10/2012 22:27

Hmm so your ex calls a mobile from UK to the states. I am assuming they are in UK as you mentioned NSPCC. That would cost a fortune and I really doubt she is doing it.

munkiboy1971 · 10/10/2012 22:27

My ex is in the uk as am I.

OP posts:
PickledFanjoCat · 10/10/2012 22:27

It's those darned sexy orange boiler suits.

imperialstateknickers · 10/10/2012 22:28

OP.... yoo-hoo...anyone there???

imperialstateknickers · 10/10/2012 22:30

Oh sorry x posted there munkiboy Blush

Being serious, I really think you need to get legal advice.

McHappyPants2012 · 10/10/2012 22:31

Op I wouldnt like my children speaking to a murder, I wouldn't pen-pal them either.

I can forgive most crimes, but murder is one I couldn't.

If this is true, then as a parent with PR I would be talking to a family law solicitor and getting so proper advice

numbum · 10/10/2012 22:32

Why do people assume this is a troll? Is it because it's a man? What would the response be if it was a woman saying 'My x-DH lets our DC talk to a woman in an American prison, she's on death roll, how can I stop the DC talking to her'?

Not the same response I'm sure

munkiboy1971 · 10/10/2012 22:32

My ex is doing it and I found out because my daughter told me her mum lets her speak to an american with the same name as a man who I know she is contacting on death row.

My ex also admitted this to me when I confronted her.

OP posts:
imperialstateknickers · 10/10/2012 22:33

I've not seen any mention of where xp's boyfriend is - everyone's assumed he's in the States. In which case, the rules about mobile phones in prison, esp. prisoners sentenced to death, may be different to those here.

arthurfowlersallotment · 10/10/2012 22:33

Women in love with death row inmates was a special feature in last week's Chat magazine.

Not that I errrr, read it or anything..

Blush
squoosh · 10/10/2012 22:34

Oh dear, of course it's not because it's a man.

imperialstateknickers · 10/10/2012 22:34

Getting fed-up with xposting here! Munki what sort of access/parental rights agreement do you currently have with her?

Narked · 10/10/2012 22:37
Hmm

Benefit of the doubt.

Contact the prison and report it.

Ask her she thinks is happening to the pictures of her DC. In a prison. With convicted child killers. Where pictures of children are valuable currency.

Report it as a child protection issue to SS.