To contact long lost sisters

[wineoclock27]

My dhs biologcal father walked him on him and his mum nearly 40 years ago when he was a baby. Both of his parents have sadley passed away. dh has always known he had a half sister but has recently discoverd he has two half sisters after some digging on fb we have found both sisters. dh is in a pickle doesnt know if he should contact them. what would you do? what would you say?

how much importance do you attach to genetic connections? I'm nurture all the way myself. pursuing (and revering) the biological connection has only brought heartache in my family.

Hmm keep it private and neutral and don't expect too much. Does he have questions about his Dad? That might be a way to open conversation.

I would have to contact them but not expect too much, otherwise he will always be wondering 'what if'

Just write a polite note saying that if they ever felt that they would like to get in touch, that he would be open to contact.

That lets them know your details, and gives them time to come to terms with the idea.

Then if they do, take it very slowly,and carefully.

What quoteunquote said.

If he wants to do it then he should, but I would be very tentative. Putting "HI SIS!" on FB pages is not a good way to do things.

On no account should you attempt to 'help' unless he specifies EXACTLY what you're to do.

If using the internet, always pm, always be polite, don't say too much, ask a question and wait.

How you word the introduction hugely depends of whether they know of each other at all.

Thanks guys. dh has never meet half sisters. we dont even know if they know of him.

If they don't know about him it will be a huge shock to them. It happened to me... Tread very carefully

Definitely tread carefully, my Mum's father walked out on her as a baby, nobody knows anything about him but I know for her, he's nobody, as would any children he had would be to her. So don't expect a massive family reunion as they may just not want to know.

We've been on the other end of this, a lady who turns out to be my aunt recently got in contact with us. We've been in email contact, we're enjoying hearing about her family and telling her about ours, but neither party feels any great urge for a massive huggy meet-up. It helps that the philandering git (my grandad, her dad) is long dead, and that all of us are reasonably well-adjusted and happy with our own lives, not looking for any sort of magic happy ever after scenario to fill in an aching void.