To think this woman was being an unbearable nob?

[ShushBaby]

Reminded of this by another thread about offering seats on trains, but didn't want to hijack...

Recently I was on a cross-country train and it was extremely busy. Lots of people standing up. The guard was passing through the carriages asking people to remove luggage from seats so that others could sit down.

One woman- pretty heavily pregnant- who had her bags on the seat next to her, in response just looked apologetic and said 'sorry... I'm pregnant?' (no further explanation as to why this meant she needed two seats). And the guard just walked on and left her to it.

I don't blame him for not insisting she move the bags- he was probably wary of coming across as bullish and bossy to a (simper) pregnant woman.

But I do think she was being a bit of a twat, frankly.

Why on earth should being pregnant mean you need two seats? She wasn't abnormally massive, she could have moved to aisle seat if she wanted to have access to the loo....what other reason could there be?!

AIBU?

I could not lift heavy bags to the overhead compartment when I was pregnant.

Knowing commuters on trains, unlikely to get any help.

So, yabu.

Did YOU offer to place her bags overhead and tell her you would help get them down again?

Yes. Me and my big witchy legs...we took up two seats...my bag of spells and my bag of potions....

Yes! I knew more people like me would come along!

There's a lot of "Oh get on with it" when you're pregnant...but really...why not offer a bit of help when it might be needed. Many women are knackered when pregnant too.

Bigwitch, how is it 'having a bit of thought for someone else' when you use a seat for bags instead of allowing an actual person to use it?

I wouldn't have been able to put bags into the overhead compartment either. And if you are large of bump then where exactly are the bags going to go?

If I ever found myself heavily pregnant again I would not be pissing about silently weeping and getting off my train several stops too early. I'd be way more like the woman in the OP.

freddos do you really need the concept of altruism explaining??

Shushbaby, have you ever been pregnant?

I frankly think you come across as a twat. You were not pregnant, you are clearly able bodied (judging by your lack of empathy), why did you not offer any help? Totally twattish to withhold offers of help, and then come posting a gripe on the internet.

I wonder how fast she would have shifted the bags if she'd had to pay for the extra seat she was using?

I couldn't lift big bags into the overhead compartment when pregnant. If someone had asked to sit down, or if I'd caught someone's eye, I'd have said they could certainly put the bags up and get them back again for me and be welcome to the seat.
So I don't know if YABU or not. Depends whether the woman would have done the same, or told potential sitterdowners to eff off.

How would feeling a bit sad mean you need an extra seat for your bags?

i would have asked people to help me get bags into over head places..or put on floor

I dont get why people put bags on seats at all

why do you do that people? is it to stop people sitting next to you?

I wonder how fast I would have shifted the bags if Johnny Depp needed a seat...

i wouldnt think she was a twat or an 'unbearable knob though'

Exit because you might need to store your spare happiness in an easy-to-reach place.

So some poor bugger has to stand while there is a spare seat. And it is a spare seat, just with a nobber's bags on it. Utterly selfish.

The poor bugger could be a bit pro active and say "Do you mind if I move your bags to the overhead compartment so I can sit down?"

If the poor person was proactive, he could ask himself "Can I have this seat please?" and then the "Nobber" could say...oh but my bags need to be easy to reach...and the poor person could say "Oh I will help you with them.

But of course....that would only happen in an alternate universe where people talked and were helpful.

YANBU OP - I've commuted on busy trains during two pregnancies and am now doing it for a third. If someone had directly asked me for the seat, I would have asked for help moving the bags and asked for help again when they needed to be taken down, if I couldn't manage them myself.

It's a bit of give and take, tbh. I think pregnant women should expect to be offered a seat on a crowded train but equally, they shouldn't expect to be treated like glass dolls - if they're strong enough and well enough to travel on public transport with heavy bags, then they're well enough to clear those bags off the seat to let someone else sit down.

Ah great minds Quint

Sounds like my cousin's wife. She is preg with first baby and she is 'I'm pregnant, clear the path, give up your seat......I can't do anything' etc.

I think she was right to be left alone purely because it would have caused an argument or embarrassment and it's just not worth it for one seat.

freddos do you really need the concept of altruism explaining??

Erm, yes, I think I do actually if you are going to say it is altruistic to keep a seat for bags when there might be someone else who would appreciate it. It isn't.

YANBU. I'm 38 weeks pg and still feel like I should spring up from my chair every time I'm in a crowded waiting room and someone else is standing. It takes a quick mental talk about how I am very, very pg and have low blood pressure to keep my bum on the seat.

I fell asleep on an empty train. I sat in the aisle seat due to frequent trips to toilet needed as was 8 months pregnant.

I woke up 2 hours later on a packed train with mine being the only available seat next to me and people rammed in standing. And I knew I had been snoring.

Obviously no one dared wake me I did move sharpish. Well lumbered really.