No I don't want to call you. I prefer to email.

[ViviPru]

I appreciate that some conversations require face-to-face meeting, and on occasion, some conversations are better over the phone than via email.

BUT, if I want to engage you as a service provider or supplier, I have contacted you in the first instance via email, then that means that I would prefer a response to my initial query via email. Not a reply from you saying 'please call me.' GAH. Perhaps I have not provided enough information for you to adequately respond, but if that is the case, let me know. Via EMAIL.

Jesus wept. Urgh - totally pointless AIBU but I feel better now.

madbuslady I wrote long rant of my most recent contact with a phone avoider but decided we would all lose the will to live.

But you asked for it

My job involves asking people questions and them telling me the answers so we can both get on with our work. I don't mind if they ask me questions back.

All I ask is that they do that during at least one spoken conversation to save time and misunderstanding. It's necessary, so if you don't like talking on the phone it's not the job for you.

It's also quite a pleasant way to do business in my line of work which is also the line of work she wanted to do - it transpired she was work experience.

This particular person emailed a really interesting work proposal (fine) but didn't respond to emails (not fine). She didn't leave a direct line or even say which department in her very large company she worked in (even less fine).

I tracked her down with the help of a very patient switchboard operator and found she'd taken a few days off and hadn't briefed anyone who could help me in her absence.

A few days later I had a phone call with her - she was very nice - and emailed a proposal and a PDF of the thing I wanted to do with an invitation to discuss it further on the phone. It wasn't an invitation but polite code for: 'Pick up the phone if you don't understand my clear written instructions so we can proceed.'

I found out a week later that she'd misinterpreted it but for some reason didn't like to say. I'm not accepting responsibility for that because it was very clear.

I do understand that she was on work experience. I didn't complain because she's young but I'm not surprised she's not doing work experience for them any more.

Ultimately it's the fault of her company for failing to explain the requirements of the job she wants to do but it is also hers for not having the initiative to realise that emails aren't suited for every occasion.

Like I said, it's probably the fault of the company - even for roles that involve close contact with clients they give out a generic email for first contact which doesn't encourage junior staff to work out when they should actually pick up the phone.

But staff training is not my responsibility.

Also Madbuslady I'm good at reading and writing because it is my job. As you can see I write in paragraphs of one sentences only because it's difficult to read unbroken text, particularly on a screen.

I also need to keep a record of contact, so if necessary I follow up calls I have to make with an email summary. It really doesn't take that long.

Emails are great for lots of things - particularly when on a deadline or sending invoices . but not for everyting.

Hm limitedperiod that may not be the kind of thing I mean. It is also an example of the correct use of email - to communicate written instructions and to invite queries if anything is not clear. It's only because that was in writing that you would have been able to clearly demonstrate that you had done everything right and that the other person was at fault. Though I personally wouldn't see anything wrong with her emailing back, because she has as much right to clarify her position in a paper trail as you do. Out of interest, if she had emailed back a query, what would you have done?

What winds me up is people trying to give important instructions or explain a complicated thing over the phone (or in person for that matter) as a first resort.

(Also, of course, she was using email incorrectly by not responding and generally being a bit dappy and absent, so the problem with her wasn't specifically and solely that she didn't use the phone properly.)

I actually (I know this sounds completely bizarre) have a bit of a phobia with phones, I hate talking on the phone/answering the phone and wherever poss ask people to email/text.I even have that on my answerphone message. not that I have a phobis, but please text or email as this phone will not accept calls !!! er....its a phone, I know, but .... Some people have a thing with spiders or snakes or heights, mines the phone! Hasnt always been like that but in recent months its got worse, Im so comfrortable typing here to you all, no probs, or texting away, but speaking? and I prefer face to face conversations anyway.

Marj I'm a bit phobic about voicemail. I get really uncomfortable when I know I have one and have to really steel myself to listen to it. I don't think it helps that I never have a signal so when I finally do, I realise there are voicemails which haven't had my attention for ages, and that thought brings with it a sense of pending doom....

I hope for answerphoen and voicemails.
When I dial the number I cross my fingers that an answerphone will answer instead of a person - it's the smalltalk I can't do.

I can do "hi this is nickel from the bookshop, just a quick call to let you know your book's arrived, and you can pick it up whenever you like" than "hello, is that Mr/Mrs thingy? "

ViviPru, I used to have voicemail on a mobile I hardly ever used and there would be month old voicemails waiting for me when I remembered to check. Couldn't turn the voicemail off so I changed my message to "Hi, you've reached the voicemail of EmmelineGoulden, I don't pick up messages much so leave one at your own risk."

I hardly got any after that. Was a personal number though. Not really an appropriate strategy for work!

That's a good idea Emmeline- I keep meaning to do that but I never have a signal to access my voicemail settings!

JamesBexleySpeed I really like your name.

Nickel I often hope for voicemail too, can't be arsed with chit chat! But I hate it when I get voicemail, I have to listen to it asap to have a tidy, empty mailbox. I particularly hate it when it's someone my mother ' just ringing to say hi'. I'll see your missed call! No need for the message if there's nothing of substance in it!

My favourite one was emailing Three to say my new SIM card wasn't working and I couldn't remember my PIN to get through to Tech support on the phone (and couldn't retrieve it as my SIM wasn't working). I got an email back telling me to call Tech support

I love how my dad some people think they've got to tell you what time and day it is in voicemail messages. Yes, I've just listened to the ponderous twenty-minute long automated preamble telling me that.

madbuslady In my job there is no way to avoid conversations. It's a bit like the previous poster who said her DH is a wheel-fitter. There are so many variables you have to verbally list them and the pros and cons unless you want to be emailing for days.

TBH I don't understand why anyone would want to avoid talking. The opportunity for personal contact and socialising is a big part of what attracts people to my job and many others I expect.

I also don't how someone might think they could do it, or one like the girl I mentioned which is allied, if things like phone calls, voicemails, face to face conversations and making a routine call in someone else's presence made them nervous.

I accept they're not making it up but it would be kinder to say it wasn't the job for them. In her case, I don't think she was nervous of the phone. what's bad is that I suspect nobody had bothered to explain that sometimes there are better ways to deal with people than by email and she thought she was being efficient.

The companies should explain the requirements and train you in all the ways you can communicate and how to choose the best way and do it well - which isn't the same thing as working out how to avoid something you find hard.

It's the kind of training every employer should give but sadly, they don't. That doesn't help their employees or their clients.

In her case, she's out of a job that she could probably have done well if someone had bothered to explain how to communicate and helped her overcome any nerves.

Phineyj I completely agree with you. I hate personal calls that are not preceded by a couple of text messages to make it clear that each person has the time and space to have a chat.

I have one friend who has a talent for always calling me, usually when she is on her way home from work and I am still at work, when I am on a train and have no signal, when I am cooking dinner or when I am getting ready for bed. So I often don't pick up her calls, and then she would say that I was ignoring her. I would sometimes text her and she'd ring me right back, which is awful as there's no escape but clearly if I had wanted or been able to chat I wouldn't have texted her!

We fell out of touch recently for a few months because I was having a very hard time having gone back to work - I've finally gone part time, and sent her a long chatty very apologetic email explaining my silence and saying I'd love to see her. I would call her but don't want to put her on the spot in case she's angry with me. No response yet...I will leave it a couple of days more and then text her just to see if she got it.

Oh and I'm totally voicemail phobic too. I can't remember the last time I had one, thank god.

i don't like getting messages, no, i agree.

bcause i never remember to check.
my work phone tells me when a call has been missed, but not when there are messages (a light that flashes)
so i never remember to listen.
and when i do, half of them are automated PPI calls or one particular customer who rings 3 or 4 times in a day until she can talk to me.

Oh nickel I'm sorry! I have rung your shop to speak to you before, and you also had to leave me a voicemail!

it's okay, don't worry

I wince when I get a reply that says 'thanks for your email, please phone for a chat to discuss your requirements'. No. I outlined my requirements concisely in my email. Now you tell me if you can meet them or not. In an email.

^this.

Also, I tend to get suspicious of anyone who persistently avoids answering my emails with email. I tend to start wondering if there is any reason that they do not want a written record of what we have agreed. I've dumped suppliers/service providers for that reason.

You sent an email, which you prefer to do.
They asked for a phone call, which you prefer.
You're both being reasonable up to that point.

I prefer phones, by the way.

ooh, yes, i email for further information. all i want is further information. i'm sure they ring so that you are forced to go "yes okay i'll sign up"

I wanted to cancel my Orange phone so I went online to do it. Amazingly enough I had to ring, you can't do it online.

It is absolutely worth insisting on email with service providers. We had BT try to back out of a special waived connection charge deal because it was offered over the phone, and they tried to claim there was no such deal! It's only because DP is so bloody-minded we got the money back, most people would have given up after the fifth call.

Bastards, all of them.

Thank you Celtic, I am one of the boys from the dwarf

I always prefer to communicate by email. You can get all the information or questions across without forgetting something.