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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give my dd what she wants for Christmas (yes it's started already)?

146 replies

scorpionne · 09/10/2012 13:27

We have been living overseas since my dcs were very small. I think this has meant we've avoided a lot of the "crazes" as regards toys/clothes as there's not really one thing everyone has/wants. But....now dcs are in American school and DD(6) is desperate for one of these

I think they are revolting and have you seen how much they cost?! We don't tend to spend a lot on presents and it's never been an issue before and the dcs seem to be happy with what they get. We put more emphasis on doing nice things at Christmas than presents.

DD is doing the "all my friends have one" and it's actually true. They all do (American school but not in US). So far I have said no but AIBU? We've never bought any Wii/XBox or anything expensive like that and it's never been an issue but I'm wondering whether we were just very lucky that the older dcs never complained.

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 09/10/2012 15:00

I don't like American Girls doll too. They are incredibly cheesy and the accessories are hideous colours...

They are even more expensive than the Corolle dolls, which are the only dolls I like.

Now, after having expressed my personal tastes Grin, I am not sure what I would do. Surely I'd prefer to get a 6 yr old a doll than anything electronic, I might get her one. But choose the least offensive one (ie not wearing purple)

Xiaoxiong · 09/10/2012 15:00

Would you consider getting her Emily? She's English, living in a country that's not her own, is good at maths and likes gardening...Could prompt a discussion about what you value about British culture.

It sounds like your DD is a third culture child (like I was) - if you feel that your kids are getting very Americanised it could be a great way to talk to her about what you value about the UK and being British.

(Maybe that suggestion in itself is too American, just ignore me if I'm not helping OP.)

Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 15:18

I appreciate the responses!

I would consider getting Emily or any of them really. Still not decided.

There won't be any getting extra bits and pieces through the year though as it's just not practical. Unless we order it all at once then give some of it later.

I suppose DD is a third culture child. She wasn't even born in UK. I don't think about it that much yet - she just fits in wherever we are. Her preferences will become clearer all the time I suppose. Our eldest very much wants to be British, which she is obviously, but she wants us to wave a wand and get her back to UK. I should be glad that DD2 is happy to embrace whatever she can!

OP posts:
edam · 09/10/2012 15:35

aw, I'd get her the doll. I can remember being little and asking for a new doll for Christmas and my parents pulling faces and asking 'what, another doll? You have lots already!' Which showed how much they knew... of course I wanted another doll to add to my family.

Children think differently to adults and I don't think adult ideas about what presents are desirable make much sense to kids. (I claimed no son of mine would ever have guns. ds, at the last count, had 19 nerf guns plus a tactical vest, bandolier and other associated crap...)

I did not grow up to be twee or obsessed with the colour pink or have a Doris Day fixation or anything, btw.

Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 15:39

I don't mind her getting another doll, it's just such a ridiculously overpriced one.

OP posts:
blueemerald · 09/10/2012 15:50

I lived in the US from 6-9 and I got a Felicity doll. I loved that doll so so much. I read all the books and relatives would buy me bits for birthday/Xmas. I'm 26 and still have her. She is in amazing condition despite being dragged everywhere for years. I do think the lookalike dolls are a little 'sell out' though (The company originally only made the history dolls)
Overall I would definitely buy one for my daughter (or give her mine!) to try and keep away from Barbie/Bratz dolls. At least they look like children.

edam · 09/10/2012 15:52

Have you ever been on one of those threads where people are getting nostalgic about toys gone past and start whining about the fact they were never allowed a Girl's Word in 1978? That stuff stays with you for life!

edam · 09/10/2012 15:53

Girls' World, ffs, not Girl's Word, that would be something quite different!

Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 15:58

I see what you mean (I did have a girl's world - how freaky were they with their revolving eyes?) but nothing I ever wanted cost a fortune.

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 09/10/2012 16:05

Oh I don't have a Doris day fixation either, despite having owned a shocking number of dolls (I even inherited dolls and Barbies from my older cousin at some stage) and playing with them until I was ancient...

My prejudice towards American Girl dolls is purely aesthetic Grin

PandaNot · 09/10/2012 16:06

I really don't like dolls, they're very creepy but I love the American Girl ones, the store in New York is amazing. My dd got the baby doll as her first doll, it's still in very good condition despite being dragged everywhere and it always gets commented on wherever she takes it.

Dancergirl · 09/10/2012 16:08

Exactly edam I was lucky enough to have a Girls World (which I loved) but I was desperate for a speak and spell which I never got!

So I bought one on EBay for my dds!

FelicityMerriman · 09/10/2012 16:09

I don't know where you are but Target sells a version. The clothes and accessories are much cheaper and fit the regular American Girl Doll. In fact if you look on Ebay and look for clothes for 18" Doll there are lots of people who seem to make a living sewing beautiful dolls clothes. We live near one of the stores so had many years of birthdays and Christmas trips to look at the displays. The books are really good and very well written, even the films are pretty well done. The historical ones are the best. The company was taken over by Mattel some time ago and the quality of the accessories has definitely deteriorated over the years. It does seem like a lot of money for a doll though. You will probably be able to recoup some of it on ebay when she has finished with it though, especially if the doll you buy is retired over the next couple of years!

Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 16:11

Thanks for that - I don't think DD would realsie if it's not the real deal. Although maybe I'm underestimating her!

OP posts:
DoubleMum · 09/10/2012 16:12

These dolls are very similar to American Girl, and come beautifully packaged in tissue paper and pink striped boxes. The clothes and the shoes especially are lovely, the hair is really soft. And they are much cheaper!
www.argos.co.uk/static/Browse/ID72/26800011/c_1/1|category_root|Toys+and+games|14417629/c_2/2|14417629|Dolls|14417642/c_3/3|cat_14417642|Design+a+Friend|26800011.htm

Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 16:23

Indeed they are MUCH cheaper! How big are they do you know?

OP posts:
Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 16:25

Oh, 46cm, I see now.

OP posts:
Original poster
scorpionne · 09/10/2012 16:26

That pink carry case looks like a coffin!

Getting way too into it all now, should go to bed.

OP posts:
seeker · 09/10/2012 16:32

Oh if you're going to get it for her, get the
real thing! She'll know, or someone will tell her if it's not the one everyone else has got. So either not at all, or the one she wants. Honestly.

DoubleMum · 09/10/2012 16:57

We have two of the Design a Friend dolls (I don't work for them or anything!) form when there was a really good offer on which got you an outfit and accessory and doll for £20. They had rave reviews all over MSE which was what made me buy one, and the first was so good that MIL immediately wanted to go get another (!). My niece has American Girl dolls and reckons they are very similar. They certainly seem good quality.

DoubleMum · 09/10/2012 16:59

Sorry pressed the button too soon. Why not take her to Argos and ask to see one of these dolls, and see if she likes it? Maybe she'll be bothered it isn't AG, maybe she won't but at least you'd know.

RuleBritannia · 09/10/2012 16:59

I know the OP's daughter wants the doll but my daughter hated it when she was given a series of them one. She had a younger brother and always wanted the sort of thing he had. One Christmas, she cried because she'd been given panties and hankies while he had boys' toys. She always blamed me for it although they usually came from GPs and aunts. Dolls for girls are a bit stereotyping, aren't they?

Katienana · 09/10/2012 17:14

Rulebrittania, I think your story illustrates the value in getting kids what they actually want. Isn't it the whole point of a present, to give the recipient something they want? Op one day your little girl won't want dolls anymore and you will regret bit getting it I think. If you can afford it - please please please buy her it! Imagine her little face on xmas day!

Original poster
scorpionne · 10/10/2012 01:06

Doublemum I can show her the argos website then will need to look into delivery options - no toy shops here! Will see what she says - I know you are all saying get her the exact one she wants but I honestly think she's just saying she wants AG because all her friends have one. She never goes in shops so doesn't know what's available. DD was born overseas and we got away with giving her DD1's old toys for years and she was happy with anything for Christmas. This is a new phase!

OP posts:
chunkythighs · 10/10/2012 01:31

If it helps my son has his we heart set on this piece of plastic crap.

I can't in good conscience spend that amount of money on a lump of plastic that will fall apart in days....

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